If A Rude Person Disrespects You, Say This To Make Them Regret It

Today we'll go over how to handle it when someone insults you. We'll start with a couple classic Destroy comebacks. These are great at winning over an audience and embarrassing the person who insulted you. Be warned, though, they may make the target of your comeback hate you. Then we'll cover some friendlier, more charismatic responses so that you can come away looking cool and confident without making enemies first. Let's cover possibly the most brutal comeback of the high status reframe. Rather than responding to the insult, you respond that the person insulting you simply isn't important enough to matter. The classic example of this is from Mad Men, when Ginsburg is mad at Don Draper for not using his idea.

What do I care? I got a million of them. A million.

Good.

I guess I'm lucky you work for me. I feel bad for you. I don't think about you at all.

You may think this only works in fiction, but in the next clips you'll see it's just as effective in real life. The ultimate high status reframe is that you haven't even bothered to remember someone.

No, we don't go at it every time. You last time with the cocaine, I was in the front row with that. Like I've been doing this for 19 years. Yeah, I remember that day. That's how important you are.

Of course.

I remember doing Letterman, Carnegie hall and talking to you.

I'm of the the younger generation. So I just wonder for all of you, who are you? I TKO's people.

When I knock people out, they don't move. Who the is that guy? Who the is that?

Conor has his issues, but we can't deny fans loved that comeback. Most people would make the mistake of accepting the frame of Jeremy's insult. They try to debate who hits harder, but when you use high status reframe, you completely dismantle an insult without even having to address it. There's another classic Destroy comeback that humiliates the other person so that you regret insulting you. And same as the first one. The key is don't try disputing the insult. Instead, accept the insult and use it against them. Here's a quick example where someone tries to insult Kumail Nanjiani.

Is Kumail Nanjiani's D in multiple colors? Yes, Every shade of your mom's lipstick.

It's like that famous Winston Churchill story where a woman tells him, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea. And he replies, if you were my wife, I'd drink it. Here's one more example. First, for context, watch Dennis Leary, try to insult Greg Giraldo for being unable to rely on quick wit.

This guy writes so many jokes before the show, it's not even funny. It's unbelievable. That's kind of what we do here, Dennis. I'm a comedy writer.

A gentle comeback like that rarely dissuades a bully. So Dennis Leary insults Greg a second time. Watch how, rather than fighting the insult, Greg accepts it and uses it to really burn.

Leary, you heard a guy in school that did all the homework and then asked if there was any more that needed to be done. Yeah, yeah, that's a good point. And if you had tried a little comedy writing, maybe your show would still be on the air. Oh.

There's two downsides to this kind of comeback. First, they're very clever, so it can be hard to do. And second, while you'll win over an audience, you run the risk of upsetting the person you're firing back at.

You said nothing. I'm really.

Well, there's another way to crush an insult that can still make a crowd laugh and avoid making enemies. Don't insult the person. Insult the insult. Norm. Thanks for dressing up, Sarah.

Listen, man, congratulations. That is the hundredth time that joke's been done tonight. But I also want to tell you I have a.

If it's something that it's hard to fix, does it mean we shouldn't do anything about it because you said, oh, I don't know if we can change how people think, does that mean we shouldn't try? I mean, first of all, not a great impression. But beyond that, this can make someone look stupid for insulting you without them feeling personally attacked. Now, if you don't want to sink to the other person's level and use an insult at all, another option you have is to draw a boundary. For example, watch this woman insult Jordan Peterson and listen to how he responds.

So what is your advice beyond banal comments like, clean your room. It's actually rather difficult to answer a question that ends with, your comments are banal politely.

One way to draw a boundary is to simply call out the insult as rude. Then you can invite the other person to change their behavior.

I would consider that more of an opinionated personal and political statement than actually a question. So why don't you try reformulating that so that there's an actual question there?

If you found the insult truly offensive, you can also draw a boundary by calling out the insult and then shifting attention away from the person to someone else. This is infuriating to bullies because their behavior is Often motivated by wanting attention.

Are you the fat guy in Hollywood still? Or does everybody look at you and they're like, oh, wow, you know, this is great. Now you're healthy. Do you have any other questions that are smart?

Now let's talk about charismatic replies. If you aren't actually offended by the insult. Because you can often use a joking insult as a springboard for witty banter that makes the other person laugh. An easy way to do this is the tit for tat or eye for an eye method. Basically, when someone burns you, you burn them back in the same style.

I need to watch this movie.

You ever seen Spider Man Hungry? Oh my God. I haven't seen the Falcon. Oh, no, there isn't one. Sorry. You'll notice in the tit for tat examples, the comeback often makes the other person laugh. Since they started it, they don't really have a leg to stand on. When it comes to being upset at you, the only two risks are if you really take the insult up a notch or if you know the other person is sensitive. Tit for tat comebacks can be so simple, you can do them almost without thinking. Watch in this next clip how Finn reacts to his own burn. He clearly didn't even mean to say it out loud. Can you read? This is really cold. Can I read?

Yeah.

Can you?

Can you host?

In general, the tit for tat method is a good way to turn an insult into fun banter. Within this framework, there's a good rule for specifically if someone tries to insult your looks. When you want to make someone laugh, try to conjure up an absurd image in the person's mind. Compare Chuck's insult in this next clip to Kevin's.

Your body ain't that good when you can just walk around without your shirt off. I just want you to know, first of all, if we're ever going to talk about bodies, I want you not to be the one to bring that conversation up. All right? If you don't get out of here shaped like a bean bag that got.

Sat in, your body ain't that good. Isn't nearly as funny as you're shaped like a beanbag that got sat in. You may think Kevin is super quick witted for that comeback, but that's actually an elusive he creates by having a few specific go to insults he uses repeatedly.

Are we here? Are you actually gonna do some working out?

Listen, you don't just get this. No, no. You wanna feel that?

No, it looks like a skinny bean bag.

My body wants to get buff But I don't wanna scare my fans.

You have the body of a Dutch woman. Kenny has the body of a Dutch woman.

Now, not every insult needs an insulting comeback. So sometimes the most charismatic thing you can do is show that you're unaffected. Unlike what we've covered so far, this is incredibly easy to do and makes you look likable and confident with no risk of hurt feelings. One way you can do this is by answering rude, rhetorical questions literally. So someone is insulting you, but you act like they're just asking you a genuine question. Here's a quick example you recognize from the Avengers movie.

Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off. What are you?

Genius, Billionaire. Playboy.

Philanthropy.

And again, this doesn't just work in fiction. Listen to Norm MacDonald in this next clip. Notice how he's able to make everyone laugh and make himself look good without being rude to the interviewer who insulted him.

You've admitted that you're lazy. I think you've read six books in your life. I've read six. Six.

What kind of a woman would be.

Attracted to you, do you think? Well, I have a lot of money.

Another easy way to show you're unaffected by an insult is if you can do it genuinely. Is to simply laugh at the insult. It shows your confidence hasn't been shaken at all by what they've said.

You look like a mechanic from Nordstrom Rack, dude. That's the fucking problem, dude. You're like, damn, I didn't know Nordstrom Rack did tires.

You know, during our sex scene, I felt your dick rubbing into.

Chris Evans is in truth a great actor, but he plays Captain America like he's a big dumb hunk.

Your as fun as the destroy comebacks from earlier in this video are to watch. They're really only helpful if you're trying to build an online audience in your own life. When it comes to insults, you want two things. The confidence to genuinely find humor in a tease so that you can clap back with a smile or laugh along with a joke. Or the confidence to draw strong boundaries and potentially cut people from your life who make it a habit to try to genuinely insult you. When you come from that place of true, deep, genuine confidence, you don't need to memorize any tips or tricks. You'll naturally handle being insulted in a way that makes you look and feel great. Now, you might think building deep, unshakable confidence will take you a long time. Or maybe you even think it's impossible for you that you could never actually feel that way. But building confidence is way easier than you think. With the right game plan, you can become significantly more confident in just a few weeks. If you want the fastest way I know to take your confidence and charisma to the next level, you should check out our program, Charisma University. Rather than tell you about the program myself, here are a few things that our past members have said. I had confidence in some areas, but not in others. Then Charisma University changed that for me. Since beginning the program, I have seen noticeable changes in my life. It has helped me to unlock the confidence that comes from knowing that I can go into any social situation and crush it. Another member wrote, I've always been bad at expressing myself in situations that weren't one on one. In conversations, I'd find myself hesitant to speak or I'd get caught in my head. After cu, I am now way more confident in saying what I think. I feel much happier all the time. I was even able to talk to a woman I've had a crush on for about a year and made a great first impression. Overall, I love this course and I keep coming back to it when I need a refresher on the Daily Action modules. And lastly, thank you so much for this program. After going through Charisma, I've made more friends, have higher self esteem, and can more easily talk to people I don't know. I've solidified my values and I know who I am. This program is literally guaranteed to change your life. That means you can take the entire course and if you don't think it's worth every penny, you can give yourself a full refund from right inside the program. If you want to see if Charisma University is right for you, click the link on screen now or in the description below. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this video and I'll see you in the next one.