King Energy: The Fastest Way to Build Confidence

I spent 10 years working on my confidence and making videos to share everything that I'd learned. But recently, one man has helped me take my confidence to the next level. That's right, Aragorn. It might sound silly, but Aragorn is the embodiment of a psychological concept that I have become obsessed with, which is the archetype of the king. It's this idea that we all have access to a deep well of unconscious power, authority and confidence. And by being reminded of that, through myths and stories and symbols, we can begin to unlock that hidden power. So in this video, I want to dive into the characteristics of the archetypal king and discuss how you can apply that mature king energy to your own life to maximize your natural self confidence. First, mature king energy has little interest in changing other people's minds, especially not with words. That's because the king does not form his perspective from consensus. So when a king is insulted or doubted by others, he pays them almost no attention.

You cannot think that this ranger will ever sit upon the throne of Gondor. This exile, crept from the shadows, will never be crowned king.

The difference you immediately notice between this example and those from people insecure in king energy is in the level of reactivity where confidence tends to be non reactive, both in body language and response. Insecurity leaps and screams and tries to change minds. The bigger the reaction I am the king, the more intense the insecurity.

Man who must say I am the king is no true king.

To be clear, the difference isn't that a secure king learns to stay quiet and still when he's insulted, even though he's fuming on the inside. The deeper difference is that a king's understanding of himself is internally felt and it's not moveable by the opinions of others. He genuinely doesn't feel the need to have a clever comeback because he doesn't need to put anyone in their place. Just know fewer words, less performative action and more steady building towards your goals will align you with the deep confidence of of the king archetype. And that brings us to our second point. King energy inspires people around the king to feel a huge boost of confidence in themselves. They feel that more is possible and it literally is because the king energy is creative and that creativity rubs off on everyone around you. This is in contrast to insecure men who attain positions of power without access to the unshakable self confidence of the king archetype. These men are primarily concerned with maintaining their position and saving face and avoiding responsibility for failure. In short, These men are stuck in survival concerns.

If you won't defend your own city, why should they? What would you have me do? Lead. Get down there and lead your people against the invaders who want to kill them. What did my mother say exactly? Did she have urgent business with me? She did not say, your Grace.

Now, on the other hand, mature King energy has moved out of mere survival into expansive creativity that grants him the wisdom to see the difficulties that lie ahead without minimizing them. Then his innate creativity can find a way in the most dire of situations. This is grounded optimism and it is incredibly inspiring.

They say that it is hopeless. There is always hope.

On occasion this is communicated through rousing speeches, but often it's by coming up with useful strategies when others have lost their nerves.

The fortress is taken. It is over. Is there no other way for the women children to get out of the caves? There is one passage. It leads into the mountains. But they will not get far. The Uruk Hai are too many. Send word for the women and children to make for the mountain pass and barricade the entrance. So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate? Ride out with me.

So if you want to tap into the creativity to find amazing solutions in high pressure situations, they the key is to bring your heart into communication with your head. Your heart paints the vision of the world that you want to live in. If it's a vision you're emotionally connected to, your head will provide a million creative ways to get there. You'll feel a huge boost of creative energy and it'll rub off on everyone around you. And you won't be afraid to be on the metaphorical front lines if the mission requires it. But if you don't let your heart paint the picture and instead live from a vision based on survival and ego protection, your head will go to work helping you survive, not thrive. From there, it's going to mostly provide you with ways to save face and look good, like delegating to others and then blaming them for failure. So although it can sound soft, you need to get in touch with your heart's vision. And in order to do that, the third aspect of King energy can be very helpful. That is that kings do not define themselves by what they hate or what they stand against, but by what they love and what they stand for. This is harder than it sounds, because you will inevitably find yourself in conflict in your life. And in conflict, then temptation is to fall into oppositional defiance, to fight against the person or cause that is upsetting you, while losing track of what you sought to gain in the first place.

I am Amleth of Berwol, son. I'm King Auruvan and War Raven and I am his virgin.

If you fall prey to this temptation, you can wind up victorious. But having lost the world you wanted to create to begin with. Unfortunately, oppositional defiance is the hallmark of modern culture and politics. And ask yourself, does the committed Republican or democrat love their party or do they mostly hate the other? So notice if you've slipped into oppositional defiance. For example, in your professional life, you may have felt the desire to become an entrepreneur to escape the rat race. Or in your romantic relationship, maybe you resist being taken advantage of or controlled. Nothing is wrong with either of those situations. But if you succeed in those narrow aims, you may find yourself with a business or relationship that isn't the one you most deeply desire. It'll just be one that you hate a little bit less. So channel that king energy. And like Aragorn, even when you're fighting against something, remind yourself what you love and what you stand for.

By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand. Men of the West.

One specific question can reorient you if you've lost that connection. And it's this. If I believed that miracles were possible, what outcome would absolutely thrill me? This will give you the inspiration and motivation to come up with outside the box solutions and the courage to jump into the front lines if necessary. But the king's willingness to be on the front lines needs to be balanced with the fourth point so that he's in abdicating his largest responsibilities in order to become a foot soldier. And that is that the king has the restraint and the wisdom to support others without taking on the burdens that rightly belong to them. You see this when Aragorn refuses the temptation to carry the glory of the ring for himself, knowing that is Frodo's task.

I would have gone with you to the end into the very fires of Mordor.

The ability to know which burdens are yours and which aren't requires you to overcome the more common boy hero syndrome. The boy hero believes that he's the one who constantly needs to rescue people from their problems. Now this can be a beautiful and a valuable instinct when it's consciously chosen. But many boy heroes are compulsive heroes. They're actually people pleasers, too afraid to let others struggle through their own issues because of how helpless it can make that boy hero feel. Those boy heroes can also be driven by a need to prove themselves worthy through helping, which is what we see drive Boromir as his father insists that he bring the ring back to him. Unfortunately, this constant heroism gets in the way. The would be hero takes on the burdens that meant for him, preventing the growth of those around him and limiting his own effectiveness in dealing with his dragons. So when someone comes to you with an issue that they're having, or you notice that someone is performing their best, or you believe that they're deceiving themselves, before you leap in with help or advice, pause, feel into your heart and ask is this issue mine or not mine. The same question can be applied even if someone raises an issue and they say it's definitely to do with you. This happens a lot in romantic relationships. Relationships as people often try to offload their anxiety of their abandonment issues onto their partner. And by lovingly but firmly refusing to rescue people from their problems, you demonstrate a deeply held belief that they have everything they need to rescue themselves. This is the purest form of believing in someone. You will also create the space to deal with your own issues, like the people pleasing anxiety that can arise when people are upset with you for not saving them in the way that they may want. But I want to make clear you can still support other people with problems that aren't yours. In fact, kings are often the best support you can ask for because their ego isn't involved. To offer the support, a great question to ask someone is what kind of support would you like right now? Oftentimes people realize that they're just looking for a place to talk things out so they can access their own inner wisdom. Now, those four pieces highlight what the king does, but there's an underlying foundation that makes all all of those behaviors flow naturally. And it's the main thing you need to focus on most to unlock your own king energy. This is that you must be committed to clear seeing. This means you see other people for who they truly are. You see the world for what it is, and you know yourself deeply. This, like most of what I've covered, sounds simple, but many people cannot do it.

Forgive me, I did not see.

So if you want to be one of the few who develop this capacity the thing the first step is to stop outsourcing your understanding of the world. Aragorn doesn't just sit in his castle, he travels Middle Earth for decades. He knows the world firsthand. Many people today though, are more like Theoden, the king who locks himself in his halls and lets others tell him what is true and real. Now, once you are starting to See the world with your own eyes. You still need to overcome two of kinds, kinds of distortions. The first you might be familiar with. That's negative projection. Negative projection is when we take personal traits that we're ashamed of in ourselves and call them out in other people. You see Boromir do it here as he accuses Frodo.

You'll take the Ring to Sauron. You'll betray us. You go to your death and the death of us all.

But there's another lesser known but equally dangerous kind of projection that's positive project. This is when we allow our fear that we're inadequate or undeserving of better treatment to create situations where we exaggerate other people's positive qualities. This is what happens when Frodo insists on trusting Gollum, which he obviously should not.

I want to help him, Sam. Why? Because I have to believe he could come back.

We positively project onto others because we fear having no other option and being alone if we admit that someone isn't right for us. This can occur in hiring and friendships but it is incredibly common in romantic relationships. If you've ever seen someone or been the one who missed a bunch of red flags positive projection is likely what was happening. Now, these types of projections fade naturally as you commit to a process called shadow work that is reclaiming the disowned aspects of yourself, both good and bad. If you're interested, let me know in the comments. I can go deeper into this topic in another video. For now though, we can take a small aspect of shadow work which is also the third foundational piece of clear seeing. And that is developing courage in the form of openness to feeling. Many of us have made unconscious vows about what we will. I will never again feel weak. I will never again feel that afraid. I will not feel that shame.

I will defend you, Father. I will save you, Mother. I will kill you.

These vows create compulsive behaviors that help us avoid situations where those feelings might arise. And then our lives begin to bend around those things which we refuse. Used to feel so maybe you avoid checking your bank account after a spending spree or the scale if you haven't been to the gym. For me, I couldn't even look at some of my old YouTube videos because I didn't want to feel ashamed of them. And I want to give you a charisma. Tip of the day. Try to do one of these every single day. But in psychologically disowning those videos, I sat my own motivation to create new ones. And it was after watching them and feeling both how proud I was of them and how far I'd come since making them that I was inspired to make this video. So sit and look and feel what happens when you open your eyes to what you've been avoiding. It can transform your life. And while the confidence born from this process may not be in your face as the young heroes, it doesn't burn out. It gets brighter over time until even the doubters can't help but acknowledge it.

I would have followed you, my brother.

My captain, my King, now King. Energy, archetypes and shadow work are all huge topics and I've got a few quite quite a bit more to say about all of them. So if you found this video helpful and you'd like more, please let me know in the comments. If you want more. In the meantime, you can also check out King Warrior, Magician Lover by Moran Gillette, which is a fantastic book that covers these four archetypes in more detail. And if you want to develop your everyday social confidence and charisma, you might be interested in our course, Charisma University. It's a step by step 30 day program that tells you exactly what to do every day so that by the end of it you are radiating confidence and charisma without even thinking thinking about it. Here's just a few things that our past members have said. I had confidence in some areas, but not in others. Then Charisma University changed that for me. Since beginning the program, I have seen noticeable changes in my life. It has helped me unlock the confidence that comes with knowing that I can go into any social situation and crush it, another member wrote. I've always been bad at expressing myself in situations that weren't one on one. In conversations, I'd find myself hesitant to speak or I'd get caught in my own head overthinking things. After cu, I am now way more confident in saying what I think. I feel much happier all the time. I was even able to talk to a woman I've had a crush on for about a year and made a great first impression. Overall, I love this course and I keep going back to it when I need a refresher on the Daily Action modules. This program is literally guaranteed to change your life, which means that you can take the entire course and if you don't think it's worth every penny, you can give yourself a full refund right from inside the program. So if you want to see if this course is right for you, click the link on the screen now or in the description below. Either way, I hope that you've enjoyed today's video, and I hope to see you in the next one.