🔴LIVE Charisma on Command Q&A

Please. Fingers crossed. Let this work this time. Let's see if it goes 7, 6. We got some people. I can't see if there's anybody in here. Let me know if the chat's fingers crossed. Is this better? Okay. Yes. Sorry about that, guys. I apologize that. That is such a bummer that the stream didn't work, but it looks like people are coming in now. Hooray. All right, come on in, everybody. How to maintain a friendship? That's a great question and probably a big answer that I should spend a little bit more time actually thinking about and formulating. But I'll give you what comes to my head off the top of my mind because we are making more content right now on friendships. I think that a lot of people take friendships for granted very, very obviously if you see them and they think of a friend as someone who should always be there. What I would say, and this is just generic advice, but is find ways to give value. And one of the simplest ways to do that is to make a list of the things that your friend likes. You might have heard of the Five Love Languages, but you don't need to necessarily think of it in terms of love. But everybody has ways of expressing affection and care that are important to them. So if you know that one friend really appreciates praise or another friend really appreciates acts of service. Right. If you can read the book the Five Love Languages to learn more about them, try to keep at least a mental, if not a literal recording on a piece of paper or a notepad of what each friend really appreciates, what the things that make them feel valued and special are, and find ways to give it to them. I recommend this as well. In relationships, people tend to just mail it in. Once things sort of hit a groove. You need to find a way to consistently give to that other person. The other thing is, it's very easy for friendships to disappear once you guys start to travel. So what I try to do is with the people that I know I want to stay close with. I'll set a reminder to call them maybe once every month or once every two months, just to catch up and stay in touch. I have friends who send out blasts on emails just with updates from their life. And they'll also call out in those emails the people who they have spoken to or who have helped them in that last month. My one buddy, Justin, does this, and it's always fun to read what he's been up to. And whenever I've spoken to him and helped him with something, I. I get Shouted out in the email says, you know, thanks, Charlie, for the good advice surrounding this and it definitely makes me feel closer to him even though we don't get to spend a lot of in person time together. So that helps. All right, meetup in Brazil. Yes, I definitely want to do that and I should have done it while I was there. This live thing has really just made me realize how many of you people would actually show up. So I am going to be doing more meetups I mentioned in the last stream that got screwed up. But if you are interested in a meetup in Vegas or Oslo, Norway, in the next two weeks, go ahead and follow Charisma on Command on Instagram. It's gonna give me an idea of how many people and we can set up a meetup. I need to block you. You are bad.

Block.

All right, body language. Hey, Charlie, do you know what? I can stop being nervous before a competition. I have my first wrestling match and I'm extremely nervous. Yeah. So this is. There's a ton of things that you can do. We talk about this. We have a course on confidence. But I'll give you some quick pointers. The first is watch our video on Conor McGregor. He's an athlete. Clearly he's competing all the time. And one of the things that he does fantastic is he conditions himself with positive visualization that right now, if you're finding yourself stressed is probably because you are imagining the worst thing that could happen. I actually had a friend who was an athlete. He was a fighter in mma. And one of the things that he did that he said helped him a lot was was he not just mentally rehearsed the fight, he rehearsed the walkout. Because what happens to a lot of people before any sort of physical thing is that it's those moments before that your heart rate spikes and your adrenaline goes crazy and it actually affects your performance negatively. So what he did is not just mentally. He went to the location where he would have his walkout to the music that they would be playing. And he did that walkout. And while he was doing it, he maintained, because there was nobody there, a really positive state of mind. And he kept his body language open and smiling, and he was waving to his imaginary friends who were there. And then eventually what happened was when he got to the day of the fight and that walkout music came on, those were all triggers for him to feel awesome. And then he looked and all of his friends were there waving back, cheering for him. And he walked into that cage just so on fire. Was completely Excited, but not in a hysteric way. He was ready to do what he had to do and he won the fight. So I think those, those mental. And even if you can go to the location and just kind of make it feel familiar, that's gonna do so much to help you. The thing that you're nervous about is the lack of familiarity. So the more that you can do to make it seem familiar, that's gonna help. You got a good one. Shout it out.

Ovian how says how to get higher self esteem. And along the same same lines, Jason RPG says how to get respect, not let people push you around.

Great. So yeah, so these are the same questions which I'm glad you put them together. Self esteem in the way that people treat you. It's often said, and I'm a big believer that people tend to treat you as bad as you will allow them to. That's not to say that everybody's going to take advantage of you. Make the volume louder. I don't know how. I gotta just shout, I think. So what that means is that if you have people that are not giving you respect, it's because there is no penalty for not giving you respect. Meaning that you don't necessarily cut them out of your life. You don't take them aside and talk to them. You might not even ignore them or tell them that you don't like that. So why might you not do that? Well, this comes back to the self esteem which was the second question. If you think that you deserve poor behavior or that you don't think find yourself worthy or deserving of people, people, wonderful people in your life, treating you wonderfully, you will attract people who do not. So how do you change this? We do have a course on confidence that I highly recommend. If you haven't seen it, join our email list. One of the books that I recommend for this is Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathaniel Brandon. You don't have to buy our stuff. I just want you to feel better. So if this is more your style, go that way. But what I'd recommend doing is you need to identify the areas in your life in which you are letting yourself down and what that means. For instance, there was a time, way back when when I was not doing charisma on command. I was a consultant and I was doing well by everybody else making a good amount of money. My parents were proud, my bosses thought that I was doing well. But I didn't love what I was doing. And because I wasn't making decisions that I was proud of My self esteem was low and I accepted worse behavior from everyone around me. So what you need to do is find the things in your life and where you're letting yourself down. Maybe you know that you should be eating better or taking care of your body better, but you're not. Maybe you know that it's time for you to leave your job, but you're not. Maybe you know that it's time for you to go up and tell that person that you should that you really like them, you'd like to go on a date with them, but you're not. Sit down and write down the ways in which you're not living up to the person that you'd like to be and then go do those things. Because no matter what happens, whether that person accepts your date or whether you immediately lose the weight or it's a little bit harder, whatever it is, as soon as you get on a path to doing well by yourself, towards living up to an image that you respect, your self esteem rises. And that means that you don't accept poor behavior from other people. So that's the dual answer to how to raise your self esteem and how to get respect from other people. Yeah, I'm six feet tall. A lot of people have been asking about the height thing. I'm six feet tall. Go ahead. Body language soon. Yeah, we will do more on body language for sure. That's a great, that's a great topic. Do you have a good question?

Yeah, we got a few.

Cool. Hit me.

How do you set boundaries when friends say rude things without offending them?

Oh, this is great. So there's actually a video that I often recommend. I don't know the name, but it's by Elliot Hulse that I think breaks this down perfectly. And if I knew the name, I would just recommend you. But I'll summarize what he says. If a friend is putting you down first off in groups of other people, you can't always pull him aside and you don't want to make him feel terrible in that situation. So the easiest thing to do is when you receive something negative in a group of people, is ignore it. Right. Carry on and even start up a different thread of conversation with someone else. Ignoring is one of the most powerful and effective negative reinforcers that there is. And when people are ignored, they will try something else to get attention. Normally that means that they will stop teasing you or being mean to you. If it means that they double down and are even worse to you, then you've got to change what you're doing, you got to change your tactic. And in those cases, what Elliot Hulse talks about is taking your friend aside in a separate situation and just saying, hey, can we have a conversation? He says, yeah, what's up? And he talks about wanting to drag it out a little bit, make them really beg you to say, what's going on. Say, so there's something that I wanted to share you, but I'm not sure how to go about it. And he said, well, go ahead, tell me. So the other day when you said that I was a blank, it made me feel frustrated, angry, and then just let that sit and say, I wanted to ask you to not do that anymore in the future. And then they say, cool, done. Not a problem. What he talks about is how you open them up. By the way, this is Nelly Hulse video for those of you who are just tuning in, that I really, I send to people and they ask me this question. He talks about opening them up first by piquing their curiosity and then coming in with a specific ask. Please don't say that thing when we are in groups of other people, rather than saying, you always do, blah, blah, blah, you know, you're always on my case. That's gonna help a lot. So next. Yes, repeat the question after a second. Sure, I'm gonna repeat the question.

Here's a personal one. What are your most important daily habits and your rituals?

Oh, man, great question. So this is. Habits are everything.

No, repeat the question.

So what are my most important daily habits and rituals? Fantastic question. What I am frustrated to say right now is that with my traveling, almost all of my habits get destroyed, but one that I always maintain is the way that I eat. Yo, thank you, Canadian A. I appreciate the super chat. The number one thing is the way that I eat because that affects my energy. So I eat very, very clean every single day. And no matter where I go, how much airport time I have, I eat well. That's the number one, the number two. And this, this tends to be when I. When I'm in one place, this really gets better and better for me is that I try to have some sort of positive influence early in my day, whatever it is. So for me, recently this has been listening to Tony Robbins tapes and a lot of people think that he's a bit because they've seen him in shallow Hal or whatever. But for me, he absolutely primes me to be in a fantastic way and to treat people better. Throughout my day working out, I've mentioned health is huge and then the Last one that I want to get back on, which I haven't, is setting one specific charisma goal every day. And I haven't been doing this as I've traveled, but typically that just looks like saying when I go out to Chipotle or wherever it is that I'm eating, that I'm going to make an effort to do treat that cashier, that whoever, as a person and not just something that serves me food. And in extending myself to find out a little bit more about that person, crack a joke that makes them smile. It inevitably makes my energy levels go up, makes me feel better, and that, that impacts my entire day. There's. That's. It's my number one drug, basically. So I really recommend that.

Next.

Next.

This question's been asked a lot of times. How is charisma different for ladies and how is charisma different for men? What's the difference?

This is a really good question and one. So when people ask me about, sorry, I always forget, guys, how is charisma different for men and women? So I will say I try not to speak to those things which I have not experienced. So obviously I've never been a woman. And I don't know what it is like to be charismatic as a woman or uncharismatic as a woman or try to do those things. I can only tell you what I observe in other people. And so when I think of charismatic women, I think of Jennifer Lawrence, I think of Ellen DeGeneres, I think of Oprah Winfrey, I think of women in my own life who are very charismatic. And I would say that there is an element in all. There is a more tender element to them. Not to say that they can't be respected, but when I think of the world's most charismatic men, they tend to have. Their power comes from almost a domineering, commanding, even if people like it and enjoy it, presence. And when I think of these women, it's a more subtle. They just light the people around them up. They have something even from Oprah to Ellen to J, they make the people around them smile more, laugh more. Now, this is true of charismatic men as well, but I think that the proportion is perhaps a little bit different. Whereas men, you tend to see more respect power in women, you see more light, fun, positive feeling, like the other person is on top of the world. So I need to spend more time exploring this, quite frankly, because I've never had to do it myself, but that is what I see in the world. Okay, do we have another good question or I'm just seeing them come through.

I got a few, but if you want to take one.

Okay, I'm going to take one through the live stream right now. So somebody asked, aside from Tony Robbins, what are the people who have influenced me? So in terms of charisma, I'll tell you my. I'm going to do a video on this because I think it'll be really fun. My top charisma people are Tony Robbins, number one. Love him. Everything he does. He is a force of nature. I love Russell Brand. Russell Brand is so articulate. I watch a lot of these videos and people that I love, Tony Robbins, Will Smith, when they speak, they tend to have a shtick. They say the same types of things and the same types of questions. They have their go tos. And Russell Brand is so brilliantly spontaneous. I don't hear him repeat himself. And he's still brilliant in the moment. So when I think of who I want to joke, like I think of Russell Brand, he's just so quick and spontaneous. In terms of positivity, I mentioned Will Smith. Incredible for those of you. And I tend to look to men because they look more like me and act more like me. But if you're a woman, I highly recommend Oprah, Ellen J. Law, even Adele I think has got a very genuine way of being. And I try, I mentioned watching these sorts of things. I try to watch something from them in addition to Tony Robbins as often as I can because it helps me just be more like them. Russell Brand has an IQ student. Go ahead. Thank you. These are some nice things coming in here. I will repeat the question. What you got? Hank Safer. Oliver Safer. Oliver Safer.

Oliver says, what did you do in college? I haven't decided and I don't know what to do with my life.

Great. All right, so I'm going to answer the more general question. I don't know what to do with my life. So I'm going to assume that you could be any age from 17, well, you're going to college. But for this question, you could be from 17 to 40. You don't know what to do with your life. And I think there's two phases. The first phase is exploration and the second phase is dedication. And so how do you know what phase you're in? Well, ask yourself these couple of questions. What do I lose track of time when I'm doing? Where do I spend a lot of money to get to do something? Maybe I go out paintballing all the time. For me, I was going out all the time. To bars and clubs, not necessarily spending money on alcohol, but just to be around people. What is something that my friends ask me about for advice? And I mentioned, where do you lose track of time when you're doing that thing? Those are good indications that that thing is something that you are drawn to and puts you in a state of flow. And I think that for success in the working world and to help the world, while you do want to cater to what the market needs, you're going to be best suited if you can find something that puts you. Puts you in a state of flow. So ask yourself those questions and see if there's something. I don't know what comes up for you, but what came up for me was people. People put me in a state of flow. Okay, so how does that translate to what I want to do with my life? Because, you know, I like hanging out with people. It's not something you get paid for. I had to figure out how I could help people. So that was the second step. Henry for president. Is that Andre right there? Yo, Andre. I should see you in Oslo very shortly. In about a week, I'll be in Oslo and I mentioned the meetup, so. So those of you who are in Oslo, follow Charisma on Command on Instagram. Thanks for money. I'll send it to Hank. But where was I? So that's step one. Step one is go through, see if there's any of these things that take you in that direction. And if there's nothing that comes through and you can't find a way to make that appealing to other people. So for me, I loved other people and I could help people learn how to be better with other people. That was what I started. My first class, I went to Skillshare in New York City and I taught 10 guys, gave five seats away and I accepted about 30 bucks to teach a group of 10 people to be more charismatic. Find a way to go teach and do that and learn. And I think that's a good start. If you're in college and you have no idea, start with your curiosity and explore wide. So what I mean by that is take a bunch of different courses. I had no idea I was going to be a philosophy major, but I took that class in my first semester and I really liked it. Study abroad, see different cultures. If there is nothing that hits home to you as something that you feel like puts you in flow and something that you can give back to other people, that means you have more exploring to do. So get as many varied influences into your life as you possibly can. And you might discover that it's fitness or that it's some language or that it's coding, but you need to expand. And I will tell you, it might surprise you, because the things that I learned when I went abroad, that I like dancing, never would have guessed that I like learning languages. Crazy to me prior to going abroad. So take that time to explore, and we'll go to another question. I could talk about this one for a long time, but hopefully that. That helps you spread your. Your tendrils very wide, if you will, as you're selecting your courses in college, and you'll figure out the major and the direction as you go.

Who's your favorite philosopher?

Ooh, who is my favorite philosopher? Fantastic question. I like the existentialists. And if I had to pick one who you know, I'll say my favorite philosophy piece is the Myth of Sisyphus by Camus. And that is about. Because when I went to college, one of the big questions I had about philosophy is, what should I be doing with my life? And as you go through philosophers, all through the beginning of history, they all say, the first guy say the meaning of life means. The Greeks, you know, is to be the best version of yourself. I think they got it pretty right. Then the Christians say it's to please God. And then as you go in, it's to do the right thing rationally as you. As you go in. And then the existentialists finally come back to this point. Albert Camus says that life is meaningless. It's like pushing a rock up a hill only to have the rock fall down. At the end of the day, there's nothing inherently valuable about doing that. And at times, it can feel so frustrating that there's just no point. But the thing about men is that we have a choice to make to imbue that struggle. To move your rock up to the top of that hill can be meaningful in and of itself if you give it meaning. And even when the rock tumbles back down to the bottom of the hill, this is the myth of Sisyphus, doomed to push this rock for all eternity, which that was how he saw humans. Even when that rock goes, that's your crowning glory. Because you know that just going back down to the bottom and pushing it up again, that that is your meaning. And so for me, it is this. That. That really gave it a sense to me that what I. I could make a meaning in my life, and I didn't have to find one in a book. And that was tremendously Profound for me. What do I think about the mbit? Great question. So the MBIT is the Myers Briggs something test. And it's got extraversion, introversion, it's got a number of traits. And here's what I'll say. The MBIT is fantastic for understanding other people and how other people are likely to behave, right? So you can predict them if you know they're one of. I believe it's 16 different personality types, but I do find that it's limiting because what I'll hear people say, for instance, is that, you know what, I'm just an intj and I'm not like that. I'm not good at that, or, you know, I'm an entp. I'm not good at listening to other people or whatever it is. And what I have learned in my life is that your personality is just a sum of the habits that have gotten you the results that you like. And people are comfortable with their current personalities. You know, they're comfortable with their current habits. But there is nothing that says that an introvert couldn't learn to really enjoy social interactions and in fact be energized. I actually tend. I don't like the terms introversion or extroversion because I find that they're too. They put people in boxes, they make them think that they will always be away rather than just describing their current pattern set. So I like it for predicting other people because people tend to stay in their lanes. But for myself, I do not want to label the way that I am because then it limits me from being. For instance, I always viewed myself as not very thoughtful. Like I go into a room, meet a lot of people, be friendly, but not necessarily think about the details. Details of what would really brighten someone's day. And recently I've learned that spending that extra time to really connect on a much deeper level. This is taught to me by Evan Carmichael. Shout out man to help people get their goals is something that I, while not am a natural at, is something I'm capable of doing and would be better for me and the world around me. So that's what I think about the any sort of label on what type of person you are. I tend to resist it because you ultimately choose cool. Shorter answers, please. So tips for connecting with someone you like in a second language and finding it really frustrating to express how much I care for a guy. Oh man, that's tricky. So first off, when I was in Costa Rica or Brazil, it was always helpful if the other person could speak some English. And whenever I had a very difficult conversation to have. I would say listen, if you speak, understand any English, I'm going to speak in, I'm going to speak in English for this part. So you can understand because it's always easier to understand than it is to speak. And I can explain my complex feelings and you can basically get them. So that's number one, if they speak any English. Share your intimate feelings in English. Your day to day stuff can be in whatever language you're in. And then other than that, I found that the only thing that you can really do is one, practice those words and then two, show them as much as you can with the body language, the eye contact, the hugging, whatever it is that you have at your disposal with your body, that's going to translate almost perfectly. So use those things, plan ahead. But it's not perfect. Saw a super chat here. I want to call you out. John Smith. Charlie, can too much focus on self improvement be a bad thing? If so, how should we balance that? So I am of the mindset that I do know the type that you might be referring to, which is what I would describe as a self improvement junkie that is always trying to optimize, optimize, optimize. But what I would just say is that what is your end goal if your end goal is to be the perfect human in every single way, body, mind, spirit, so that you can get respect? Well, yes, there can be too much focus on self improvement because you're ultimately not, you're missing the point of it, which is to I think create more in yourself to give more to other people. But if you're a type of person that has their why in the right place, which I believe the reason to do self improvement is so that you can get the most out of your life and so that you can give more back to other people, I don't think that you can do too much self improvement. This, this isn't to say, and by the way, when you're doing this, this creates plenty of time to just relax, kick back and connect with other people. You don't always have to be grinding, hustling like crazy. So it's not that there's too much self improvement, it's that I think the goal and the purpose of self improvement can get confused. And what I would do is ask yourself why you're doing it and reconnect with that fundamental reason. And then a lot of the questions you have is am I supposed to spending too much time trying to be perfect will become the answer will become Clear. Because you'll have your ultimate purpose in the right place. All right. Am I a life coach? Mentor to people? I used to do more coaching. I do not do as much personal coaching now. This is fun for me to hop on here and do this. So I think maybe some people consider me a mentor, but I am not actively. Am I writing more books? I may. I'm trying to get a book deal, which would be great. Graduating tomorrow, giving a bacteria. I'm having anxiety. Stay calm. So I mentioned this really quickly in the other video, but rehearse your the position beforehand. If you can, go to the auditorium where you're going to be speaking, stand at that podium and give the speech even if no one's there, it's going to help you so much. Try to get as much familiar practice as possible. So if you can't go there, obviously practice in your room, practice in front of people. Make the practice as similar to the game and you will perform well in the game. How do I deal? Do you have a so great question, Anna. How do you deal with a bad parent that won't respect you, specifically talking sarcastically to you about your studying instead of supporting and motivating you? So I did a video on this that I think is called My Embarrassing Confession or My Embarrassing Something within the last few weeks. Check that out. It's got. I think you'll find it very helpful. But the long story short is that you guys have a pattern, as do everyone in your life. And if you don't like the pattern that you guys have, you're going to have to break it radically to reset it. And so what that means is, yes, your parent might be sarcastic to you, but you're probably also ignoring them. Or do you have some pattern that creates that in them? And what I'm going to ask you to do is it should be hard is going to be to do the exact opposite of that. So maybe it means that you're constantly just trying to keep them out of your place. You walk up to them separately and say, hey, mom, or Dad, I just wanted to say that I know that you really care about me and that my studying is important to you and that I'm sorry that my grades haven't been where they are, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm trying to get them where they should be and I appreciate your help. And if that's new to them, it will blow their mind. It will open up the possibility for you guys to have a relationship that looks very, very different. And as soon as you come to them with a mind altering approach, they will give that back in kind. So that that's what I'd recommend. Do the most opposite thing that you could possibly do. Be vulnerable. And I think that you'll find that it works for you. Any good questions, Henri?

Yeah, I have a couple right now. Give me a second.

Cool thoughts on the Law of Attraction. While Henry is getting this. So Law of Attraction, I think that as my general take on a lot of the more new agey spiritual type things, is that they do tap into fundamental things that work in the world. For instance, if you focus on your goals, you're going to do the actions necessary to achieve them and you're going to be open to opportunities. So for instance, when I was out at this last conference I went to, I knew, and I'd written down days before that I wanted to do a book, right? And so I was asking people about their books and one of them connected me with his book agent. Now I could say the universe provided that to me. Wow, the universe is I focused on a book deal and now I'm speaking to a book agent. The universe provides. Or I could say that when you think about things, you're more likely to talk about things, which is more likely to elicit a response in other people. So I don't think there's anything mystical about the Law of Attraction. But I do think that focusing on your goals works, provided that there's an associated action which I think gets left out sometimes. How do you know if the person you're attracted to is someone you should pursue romantically and have potentially a long term relationship instead of just casually dating and chilling with the person? Well, I think that one time and dates should show you that and quite frankly you will get a feeling. But second is values. How do your values match up with one another? Do you guys want the same types of thing in the future? Do you, do you push one another to be better humans? Do you, Are you complementary in that you support one another in your life? That tends to be a good sign. I'm not a relationship expert by any means, but that is my initial reaction. Yeah, I got some questions.

I have people yelling at me through your chat.

This guy says, listen to me, Henry, Henry.

How to be an alpha male, in short. But I'm going to rephrase. The question is how to be charismatic no matter what your height or gender.

Yes. So let me say no matter what your height, the way to be charismatic does not change. What might need to be augmented is your mindset because clearly it's something that is affecting you. And I'm not saying that looks or that height do not have an impact in the real world. They do. It's just like, you know, I'm a hard gainer. I struggle to put on muscle, but I still need to do the same things that an easy gainer does. I need to eat well and I need to lift weights hard. I just might have to do it even more to get the results that I want. So it's the same types of things. As a shorter guy or whatever. I really recommend looking at Kevin Hart. Kevin Hart is 5 foot 2 and he hangs out with NBA players. There's no one in the world that has more of a height difference than Kevin Hart and his friends, especially when he hangs out with Shaq. But he is a leader in that group. And so if you look at him, he's a fantastic example of someone who believes it on the inside, that he's a leader, that he's funny, that he ought to be listened to. He has no problem going back and forth teasing these guys. He does not take the short jokes personally. And even I think just listening to him talk in interviews will give you confidence because sometimes he addresses his height and, and he just treats it as a non issue. He knows the thing that is going to make him a man or charismatic or capable in his life is ultimately his mindset, his actions, what he thinks of himself and the work that he puts in. And he does put in a lot of work. Okay.

People are asking your religious views, but we're going to skip that.

My religious views, I don't mind. I'm not religious. Henry, what are your religious views? I believe in Santa. Still. Henry still believes in Santa. He says.

Inge, I hope I'm not ruining this. Shek asks, how can you stop being a perfectionist and critical on yourself and be happy instead?

How can you stop being a perfectionist?

Yes.

And being critical of yourself? Yeah. Great. So this is going to come back to self esteem. Perfectionism is one of the hallmarks of low self esteem because what it says is, the only way that I am, that I can have value is to make no mistakes, to do everything perfect. And in fact, what that often does is it stops people from extending outside of themselves, from doing things that might scare them, that might push them, that might break their comfort zone. And so in a way, perfectionism is a cop out because it stops you from doing anything in which you might fail. How do you break out of that? You need to find reasons that you are valuable regardless of your performance. And so what I tend to come back to are fundamental things that are variable across the population when you look at wealth and success, but that really do count, which is what kind of a friend, daughter, family member are you? Are you kind? Do you give back to your community in whatever way that you can? Are you honest? You want to rest your sense of self worth, not on the achievements or the accolades that you receive or how many people are in your chat. Which is tempting because it's freaking cool when we have this kind of an interaction and there's a lot of people here. But what I always have to come back to is that my value as a person, when I turn this off and there's not emails coming in or whatever happens or if the channel were to explode, comes back to if I'm honest, if I'm kind, if I give back in the ways that I can, and if I push myself to be the best regardless of if I fail. The best me is not the me that never fails, by the way. The best me is the me that tries his hardest and does fail quite often because I'm trying to do things that are important. So next. Next.

Tell Dan and tell the Spanish meme.

We will answer their questions. They're yelling at me. Tell Dan and the Spanish meme we're.

Gonna go with the Spanish meme first. Okay, who asks what inspired you to start this channel?

What inspired me? So we can't just give all the yellers the credit here. Okay. What inspired me to start this channel? So I was an extremely shy person. I've told this story and I'm going to abbreviate it here. I was an extremely shy kid and I had to learn how to step outside of myself, how to speak to other people. I went to Costa Rica and that was really the first time that I decided that I was going to make friends rather than just have the one or two that were close to me. And so I walked around town and I asked people for directions and I pretended that I didn't know where I was going, even though I did. But I was a new guy in town. I was the gringo in Costa Rica. And through those interactions, I made friends. I started to become more comfortable being in an extroverted scenario. And people saw that shift in me. And when they saw that shift, they started asking questions. And when they started asking questions, I realized that there was something there. I started teaching classes. And from those classes came a blog. And from that blog came this channel. So for Me, it's really been scratching my own itch. I think that relationships are the most important thing in your life. It is the only thing that will give you any sort of fulfillment and satisfaction and being able to create those relationships, maintain those relationships, and know that wherever you are in the world, that you can do that is a superpower. And I wanted to share that with. With people as I continue to learn about it.

Podcast.

Do I like video games? I don't love video games just because I'm an addict. I'm an addict. I'm an addict, and I will play them nonstop. Where am I based? I'm in Las Vegas right now. I don't have a base. I'm hoping to make my base Southern California very shortly. And of course, we'll do meetups once we get there. How do I speak so fluently? So I'd really recommend how do I speak spontaneously? What I would recommend to you guys is taking an improv comedy class. What stops people from speaking comfortably is, one, obviously a lack of practice. You just need to do this a number of times to get it. But two, it's when you try to plan things. If I try to plan what I'm saying three sentences ahead, I screw myself up, and I cannot get there. But if I trust in my intellect to take me where I need to go, and in every moment, I'm just creating the next word without worrying too much about what comes next. That helps a lot. But I try to have a habit of breaking things down into numbered things. So I'll say there's three things I want to tell you, and then I'll just kind of hit those three points. And within that structure, I can be spontaneous. So it's not pure spontaneity. It is structured spontaneity. Is the guy in the background your boyfriend? We talk about Henry. Henry's my brother. Charlie has a 300 IQ.

Do you want to.

One person wants to know, how do I do? You have a good question? Yeah.

And then I'm going to do my word.

Great.

Dan P. Henry.

Henry.

How do you improve? Slash, make friendships.

How do you improve? Make friendships? This is a big question, so I'm gonna have to shorten. I think I've mentioned in the past, but briefly, start with things that you love and show your face.

Hey, guys. I'm the one on the other side.

That he's getting yelled at. The man. The man, the myth.

All caps, Works best. Henry.

Henry's in Charisma University for a couple of the videos. So the question about Friends. Henry, we're getting a surge of influx of comments. Now they want more. Henry, you've encouraged all cats. Don't do that.

All cats.

Guys. To make friends, start with what you love. If you love or if you think you might love it, go to rock climbing gyms, go to mma, go to bars, but go to bars that have dancing. Right? I used to go out salsa dancing, start with an activity and that makes it easiest to meet friends. And then the follow up to hey, do you want to hang out? Is not like, do you want to come over or do you want to get a bite to eat? It's do you want to go do that thing that we both like? And it's a very easy transition. Okay, I'm just going to take a quick look. I'm going to try to wind this down soon. But I do want to quickly reiterate now that we have some people on here, what I said before and I'm going to go through it quick. One, make sure you're on the notification squad. Click that little bell. Two. Two hires that we're making. One is an Instagram channel manager. We're going to take these videos, cut them up, throw them on Instagram, hryzmoncommand and the second is for our Portuguese channel dubber. If you're interested in Instagram, write me charlierismondcommand with Instagram manager in the subject line and just take any video that we've done and edit it so that it works on Instagram, which I don't know what the time limit is or the size, but that will be your job. If you're interested in the Portuguese channel, watch the video. Want to be part of Charisma on command that I filmed a couple weeks ago and do what it says in that video. Lastly, there are some meetups. If you're interested in a meetup in either Las Vegas or Oslo, Norway, please make sure to follow us at charismaoncommand on Instagram and we'll see how many people are interested. We'll back come of venue might be appropriate and then we can do something together. Oslo. If there's people in Oslo, I'm going to be blown away. But we'll see Wayne dress in her office. Henry, send nudes come to the East Coast. We might do that soon. So let's do one or two more. How do you spend your free time, Henry? Taking care of his girlfriend's dogs. Come here, dogs. Where's Ollie? I'm going to show you guys a dog real quick before we sign off. So, Henry, give me a question. Okay, here he is. This is Oliver. He's kind of a. He's kind of a funny looking guy. One more question, coach, Any kind of question.

I think this is interesting. How do you always eat healthy? How do you change your diet and how do you like keep discipline in your diet?

How do I keep discipline in my diet? I am very disciplined in my diet. I'm extremely disciplined. So what I would first recommend is you need a strong enough. Why? This is classic. You need to do anything. But for me, when people think of food, they're like, oh, it's gonna taste good. And what is the cost? For me the cost is one. I read a book called Anti Cancer that made me realize that a lot of what we eat can cause cancer later in life and if you eat well. Because there are these things that people, scientists refer to them as blue zones in the world where people typically don't get cancer. So I do associate on a strong level eating poorly with really bad physical health in the long term. The second is that I have short term goals like I'm trying to put on muscle or something. So when I eat unhealthy, I immediately feel like I'm sabotaging that and that doesn't feel good. And then the last is that there is an actual physical feeling of energy that when you start to eat right, even though it's tough to get on that once you start to eat right, eating crappy just really slows you down in an obvious way. And I don't like that. So it's not hard for me at this point. Staying disciplined is easy because the negative associations in my head and the negative impact that I feel is immediate.

Ready?

Yeah.

Someone shout out the person who sent you money.

Shout out somebody. Do I have to give you a shout? We got a super chat and then their question. Oh, the Atlas. Charlie, you're gonna be the last guy. Atlas. Is there a danger that I could be building a false personality using my videos? You want to be genuine and sincere. Great question. So here's what's going to be important. I would consider that ultimately what you are trying to do through. I think what we teach is feel like and be more of yourself. But there's a lot of conditioning that occurs early in your life that's going to tell you, be quiet, be like this, right? So you need to experiment with some different ways of being and some of them are going to feel uncomfortable. At first. You might not feel like you're the type of person to Go up and strike up conversation with a stranger. But you should still try it because it's kind of like if your parents only fed you vanilla ice cream when you were growing up. And you grow up and you think, I'm a vanilla ice cream person, but you've never tried any of the other flavors. What I'm encouraging you to do in the channel is one step outside of yourself with some of these different tactics, right? Saying hi, ways to be funny, different types of sense of humor. Humor and see which one suits you. And then the second thing is that a lot of types of sense of humor and see which one suits you. And then the second thing is that a lot of what we do teach in the channel is fundamental to all personality types. Speak with conviction, have positive energy. Even if you're an introvert. These are things that when you do speak or the people that you're with, that is going to be true to who you are. So. So I think that there is a danger if you go too deep and you just copy someone mercilessly and you just want to be like them. But if you take inspiration from me, or in the same way that I take inspiration from people on the channel that I watch and craft it into, test it, see what works for you, see what you like, throw out what doesn't, at the end of the day, you're going to be more yourself because you're going to have made more choices about the type of person that you want to be. So am I your dad? I certainly hope not. I've been very careful and so we'll do more of these later. Guys, I could do this all day. I love this stuff. But I am going to wind this down. Like I said. If you want to join in a meetup in the near future, follow orismoncommand on Instagram. That's gonna be where I'm gonna do the announcement for Las Vegas and for Oslo and potentially for VidCon in just a few weeks and sign up for any of those hiring positions. I apologize for the crappy connection and we'll do much better next time. I'm not your mother either. You guys are fantastic. This has been really fun and we'll try to do these again, I think on Thursday of the next week. But I will be traveling, so fingers crossed. Alright guys, take care. Have a wonderful day. Get back to your lives and I'll speak to you soon. Let's finish.