Relaxed Confidence: 5 Habits To Look Like A Boss

Johnny Depp's relaxed confidence on the stand has helped make public perception around his trial with Amber Heard pretty one sided. But as many other witnesses have shown, staying calm and confident is not easy under that kind of pressure. Which is why in this video we'll be covering five things that Johnny has done and that you can do to radiate extreme confidence that makes others trust and like you even in high pressure situations. As a caveat, confidence does make others trust you, but it doesn't mean that someone is necessarily telling the truth. In another video. We may talk about lie detection in this trial, but this video is just intended to break down confidence. Confidence under pressure. So first off, you can create and demonstrate confidence by controlling the cadence of a conversation. The easiest way to do this is by letting silence sit when you need to think. Just make sure that when you do finally speak, you don't apologize for the time that you've taken and just carry on normally.

And you don't remember the television breaking, do you?

I remember there was a, I believe there was a coffee cup stuck into the screen.

Slowing things down also allows you to maintain non reaction seeking body language. That's body language that does not ask the other person for a signal that your message is being received as intended. Now, it's easiest to see non reaction seeking body language in contrast. So let's take a look at some examples of reaction seeking body language. Watch here as one witness lifts his shoulders and reveals his palms in a gesture that communicates. I'm overwhelmed. What do you want me to do? This gesture is fine when done subtly, but when exaggerated, it's felt as if you're pleading that the question asker would stop pressing down their current path.

In a newspaper that's claimed to fame is H3 women topless and yeah, and.

Mr. Def sued the son over this, Right?

What's that?

Another example of reaction seeking body language can be seen in Amber's checking in with the jury, especially during highly emotional moments. These secretive glances were often timed with a pause in her story as she seemingly gauged the jury's response to what she was saying. Sure they wouldn't remember her.

Objection. Calls for speculation. I sustained the objection.

Smith just going into the wall.

Remember looking around the room.

Not wanting to move.

Now, seeking a reaction from an audience and checking in with them does not mean that someone is lying. But it does demonstrate a lack of confidence in how people are going to receive whatever is being said. That is why people ch in to see if there's a favorable audience reaction. So that they may feel secure. On the other hand, non reaction seeking body language does not request validation from a listener, and as a result, it makes you come across as confident in what you're saying, which causes others to buy into your reality. Johnny Depp demonstrated non reaction seeking body language through almost all of his testimony. For instance, when challenging the defense about an article written about him, he did not look to the jury to see if his point had landed with them.

That's entitled Johnny Depp, Friends and family seriously concerned about him. Here's why.

Yes, how did they know?

The next article from May 1, 2017.

If you want to implement this in your own life, focus on checking in a bit less often with your audience, no matter who they are. This means resisting the temptation to immediately scan across a group after you've told a joke, just to check who's laughing. Also, you can let silence sit after you've made a point in debate A. Either way, not checking in with the audience communicates that you have full faith in what you are saying or doing. This takes us to our third point, which is to catch and refuse conversational frames that you do not agree with. Now, frames are the unspoken assumptions and rules built into any communication. In a conflict, someone may ask you a question where answering directly means accepting a frame that makes you look bad. So to defend yourself, you shouldn't respond to the content of a question, but to its frame, even when it's not spoken aloud. Now, this is much easier in an example. So for instance, in the following clip, the defense is reading headlines with the implicit frame that these are credible sources. If Johnny answers the question's content of am I reading this correctly? He would be allowing the frame that those are credible sources to go unchecked. So rather than answers the defense's question, Johnny responds to the frame of the question, again with no reaction seeking body language.

It's entitled Johnny Depp, friends and family seriously concerned about him. Here's why.

Yes, how did they know?

The next article from May 1, 2017, before Johnny Depp has a clear and epic sense of entitlement. Ex managers say I was in the Hollywood Reporter, correct?

I was in a lawsuit with him, sir.

When opposing counsel continued, Johnny called out the frame directly rather than answer the question at face value.

The next article, also from May 10, 2017, a year and a half before the op ed was published, says Johnny Depp reportedly drank heavily and was constantly late on the new Pirates movie set. Did I read that right?

You did, reportedly.

The next article, also 2017. Mr.

Pathetic attempt.

Mr. Depp Please just respond to the question that I'm asking you. What's your next question? The next.

The next document now in your life, rather than calling out frames you disagree with, like Johnny, oftentimes the most confident response is simply to calmly assert your own frame. This is what Amber actually did with the pledge. Slash donate discrepancy. For context, Amber stated that she donated $7 million of her divorce settlement, all of it to charity.

There was a divorce settlement. You got $7 million. People were saying, this is all about the money. But then you did something that twisted that whole argument. What did you do with that money?

$7 million in total was donated to. I split it between the ACLU and Children's Hospital of Los Angeles.

Later, though, it came out that she had not donated the money and had merely pledged it, meaning it was sitting in her account for her to spend as she pleased. Now, that lie could ruin her credibility and break the case. So she came prepared with a frame that would depict her as not having lied. That frame was that donated and pledged mean the same thing. Now, personally, I found this ridiculous and suspect the jury did too. But from a strength of frame perspective, Amber did as well as she could in those circumstances by calmly asserting her own frame over and over again.

Sitting here today, Ms. Heard you still haven't donated the $7 million divorce settlement to charity. Isn't that right?

Incorrect. I pledged the entirety.

You testified under oath that, quote, the entirety of your divorce settlement was donated to charity, end quote. Didn't you?

That's correct. I pledged the entirety.

That statement wasn't true.

It is true. I pledged the entirety to charity. The statement, when you say you buy a house, you don't pay for the entire house.

Now, conversational frame analysis can be really fun, but in your life, you're probably not going to consciously notice these frames in real time. But when you go slow and adopt more secure body language, you will naturally find yourself less caught up in other people's frames and more confident asserting your own. Moving along to our next point, confident people are able to control the emotional tone of an interaction by introducing that tone themselves. So, for instance, they're able to make things a bit more serious by sharing a vulnerable story story in an otherwise goofy friend group. Or in the case of a very serious trial, they're able to introduce humor to cut through the tension.

Like, Johnny, you poured yourself a mega pint of red wine, correct?

A mega pint, yeah.

Shifting the emotional tone of an interaction demonstrates leadership and a tremendous amount of confidence. As mentioned, this can be towards a much more serious tone, as we saw Johnny's lawyer do repeatedly when cross examining Amber.

That's correct. I pledged the entirety.

No, Ms. Heard my questions. Your counsel will have time to redirect you after.

But the more commonly applicable way to show confidence is by introducing humor into situations where people are being much more serious and literal. And you can do this by just saying the opposite of what people expect.

A haze of booze and hash, a marriage gone very wrong, and a lifestyle he can't afford. Inside the Trials of Johnny Depp. Did I read that right?

You did. You should read the article.

And the last one. The last one.

So in your life, when someone at a party asks what you do for work, you can come up with a playful answer before telling them your actual job. Or if they ask who you know there, say no one. You just heard music and decided to come hang out. Shifting the tone of a conversation from literal answers to humor obviously will make people laugh, but it also gets them more interested in your honest answer since you're demonstrating that you've got uncommon levels of confidence. And this takes us to the last point, which is actually a core tenet of confidence that makes doing all the behaviors we already mentioned much easier. Confidence is easier to feel when you have lots of positive reference experiences. So you want to purposely create experiences that feel like social wins. Now, since Johnny Depp is a movie star, he hasn't had to do this. People have responded enthusiastically to him almost all of his life without any particular effort, but it still had the effect of making him comfortable with moving at his own slower pace and displaying non reaction seeking body language. Fame made people respond well to him, which increased his confidence, which made people respond even better. And on and on and on. You can get the same feedback loop working in your favor without the fame by creating and appreciating small wins. That may mean being proud for cracking a joke to a cashier, even if it doesn't go over as you might hope, or for giving yourself just a little bit extra room for thoughtful silence before answering a tough question question in an argument or an interview. When you allow yourself to appreciate those small wins instead of focusing on what you could have done better, it feeds that positive reference loop. Over the long term, you get more and more confident because you have so many memories of feeling good when you put yourself out there socially. It doesn't matter that the wins were small, simply that you let yourself feel them. And if you're looking for the fastest way to create those social wins, you might be interested in our course Charisma University. It's a step by step program that guides you on exactly how what small things to do each day to massively build your confidence and charisma. Over 9,000 people have already joined and here is what just a few of them have had to say about it. The first is from a guy who was interviewing for new jobs. He says, I interviewed at dozens of places for jobs after medical school. At the end of one of my interview days the doctor pulled me aside and said that I hands down had the best interview out of everybody and they would love to have me at their program. They ranked me number one and it's my current job. Another person wrote about their social life saying, it has been truly incredible. I've instantly had results that seem insane. So many more meaningful connections, my friendships have improved and my interactions with total strangers are new exciting, fulfilling thing. I want to recommend this to everyone that should be in our basic education system. And this last one is from someone who says that the course has been life changing. And he says, your course has been life changing to the point where I wake up in the mornings for feeling like I've been transferred to a new person's body. The person I kept dreaming about becoming before I found charisma on command. It is incredible. I found myself and I found what makes me happy. And you can see more success stories like these in the comments if you decide to join the course. If you do so, it comes with a 60 day money back guarantee which is 100% for any reason at all. And I make it 60 days even though the course is only 30 because I want to make sure that every single member truly feels like they're getting a ton of value out of the course. Otherwise you can just refund. So if you want to check the course out, go ahead, click the link on screen now or below in the description. We've had thousands of members go through this course, get a ton out of it, introverts, extroverts, men and women from all over the globe and I would love for you to do the same. Either way, I hope that you enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.