Simple Ways To Earn Respect From Almost Anyone

Tommy Shelby was our most requested video ever. So today we're doing a breakdown that's long overdue. His frenemy, Alfie Solomons.

That's lovely, isn't it? That's. That's lovely.

While you don't want to be like Alfie in every way, there are four habits you can learn from him to instantly command more respect from the people around you. And even though Peaky Blinders is a scripted TV show, all the psychology covered in today's video will apply to your actual life. Let's start with a quick scene from season three. If you haven't seen it, Alphys just sold Tommy a list of buyers for a stolen item. Notice how Alfie reacts when Tommy freaks out. Alfie demonstrates one of the quickest ways you can command respect by being calm in situations where most people would show fear. For a quick comparison, watch how Alfie and his right hand man each react after Tommy claims he's planted a grenade in their rum shop. Notice how their different reactions impact your impression of them.

I bet 100 to 1 you're f lying, mate.

Olly, what he say?

Jesus Christ, Alfie. He tied his lace. I saw him. Look, he planted a grenade. I know he did. Alfie, it's Tommy Shelby.

You were behaving like a child.

Definitely don't model Alfie's violent tendencies. Like I said, we don't want to be like Alfie in every way. But being calm in high pressure situations is a quick way to command respect in your own life. Specifically during an argument. A good rule of thumb for keeping your cool is to purposefully wait two to three seconds before responding. This will help you look poised and give you time to react calmly. Watch Alfie do it.

Here you invite a tribe of savages into the city and don't unlock the gates.

I'm sorry, what are you saying, mate?

As a general rule, we are more demanding of fast responses from ourselves than we are from others. People tend to give themselves only 30% as much time to respond as they would give someone else. So when you are in a stressful situation and it feels like you need to do something right now. Pause. Otherwise you risk looking frantic and out of control. Along with this calm demeanor, there's another habit in that scene that helps Alphie appear confident. Which brings us to our second key habit. Alphie holds eye contact, especially during conflict. Here's another example.

You people. You hunted my mum with dogs. Yeah.

A common mistake some people make when watching scenes like this is thinking that you should hold eye Contact all the time, but that's not the takeaway. If you hold and they hold, it can create even more tension. So the trick is to be purposeful with your eye contact during conflict break by looking down. If your number one goal is to de escalate, hold. If your number one goal is to show you aren't intimidated. And if you want to de escalate without signaling fear or discomfort, then hold eye contact for three to five seconds and then break to the side instead of down. As an example, watch how Alfie responds after Arthur Shelby basically says, yes, I found religion, but I will still kill you. It's a perfect example of how to deescalate without ceding power.

I'm Old Testament.

You know. Congratulations, Tommy. You now have the finished article, right? Ain't you? See that man, right? He will murder and maim for you with God on his side.

There's another trick you can learn from Alfie. To command more respect with just your eyes. Alfie doesn't let other people dictate where his attention goes. A great example of this is when he meets Luca Changretta, an Italian mob boss with more money and more power than Alfie. Luca goes in expecting Alfie to defer to him. But Alfie is doing an exercise to better understand the blind and refuses to even open his eyes.

What time is it? 29 minutes past 8. Right. Well, then I have. I have another minute to go, actually. But you. You can begin.

Go on. We saw the same principle in the previous scene where Arthur was staring at Alfie murderously and he chooses instead to speak to Tommy. This behavior has the effect of making people crave your attention because you are being selective with it. For instance, I have a friend who gives his undivided attention to whoever he's speaking to. If you try to interrupt, he won't turn to you until the person he was originally speaking with has finished what they're saying. It can feel a bit annoying in the moment when you're being ignored, but it feels great as the person that he's speaking with. And for both people, it makes you value his attention. Because once you have it, you have it fully. And if you lose it, you know you can't just demand it back. Now, body language isn't the only way to show confidence. For another option, let's go back to that opening scene where Tommy's deciding whether or not to kill Alfie for betraying him.

But if you kill him now, the truce with the London outfits will be rimed to f ing pieces. All right, don't worry about that truth, kid.

Right? Cause it's just it fell apart. You've got nothing to worry about when it comes to the old scary London boy.

What side are you Alfie chooses here? To be honest, even when it goes against his best interests, which immediately commands respect. It's not that he wants to die, it's that he doesn't want to be spared for what he considers the wrong reasons.

What f ing sign I give a f right now, kid.

Right?

I do not want him to spare me because of some f ing peace pact.

I want him to acknowledge that his.

Anger is unf justified.

Now, in your own life, you're hopefully never in a situation where your life is at risk. But there's still a concrete lesson you can learn here. For social situations, don't apologize just to avoid conflict. That's not to say don't ever apologize. If you've done something wrong, it's important to acknowledge it. But if you aren't sorry, don't say you are. This is a very common mistake people make, especially in dating, and it may avoid a fight in the moment, but it sets you up to get walked on later in the relationship. The ability to be honest even when it goes against your best interests screams self confidence. You're basically saying, whatever the consequences of my honesty, I know I'll be okay. Of course, the goal here isn't to fake that you're okay while you're freaking out on the inside. It's to cultivate a genuinely strong, deep internal confidence. Once you do that, you'll naturally command respect in situations where most people would panic or get nervous. The tips in this video should instantly help you project confidence. But building that strong internal confidence does take a bit more time. If you want the fastest way I know of to build that unshakeable confidence, check out our program Charisma university. It's a 30 day, step by step blueprint for building more confidence and charisma. Within just a few weeks of joining, we've had members transform their social and professional lives, getting more friends, more dates, new jobs and promotions. Rather than tell you about the program myself, let's look at a few things that past CU members have written in this first one comes from a guy who transformed his confidence. He says, I wasn't truly confident. I was constantly seeking validation and cared too much about other people's opinions. But now my life has improved tremendously because of cu. I find it way easier to connect with people, to have great interactions, and to be happy even if things don't go the way I want them to. Taking this course has been one of the most impactful decisions of my life. I can't recommend it enough. This next one is from a woman who works as a clinical psychologist. She says, I absolutely love the content and I'm happy to pay for the modules. I'm a clinical psychologist looking for material that could help my clients who have social anxiety. Charlie's material is exactly what I was looking for, and this last one is from a guy who joined after a breakup. He says, I thought that after completing this course I'd become a smooth talker and be able to take over a room. What I didn't realize is I'd get that and feel so confident in myself. I feel liberated. Thank you for creating this course. If you want to join but you're not sure if it's right for you, you should know it comes with a 60 day money back guarantee. That means you can get all of your money back for any reason at all. It's 60 days even though the course is only 30 days, because we want to make sure that every single member truly feels like they're getting massive value from the course. If you want to learn more, go ahead and click the link on screen now or below in the description. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.