Social Secrets Arnold Used To Win At Life

Arnold Schwarzenegger's is one of the most impressive success stories of our era. He won Mr. Olympia seven times and put bodybuilding on the map. Then he became the highest paid actor of his time. Then, without any elected experience, he became governor of California. That kind of success tends to alienate people. Yet Arnold has almost always inspired love from the masses. Today we're going to talk about what Arnold did that made his success something people aspired to and were inspired by rather than something they resented. Despite the fact that he was never particularly modest.

I will mix him up. He will come so ready to South Africa, so strong. But the time, the night is over, the next morning he will be ready to lose. I mean, I would just talk him into that. That's no problem to do. You know, it's amazing. Can you imagine the feeling I have six times Mr. Olympia, I told you. You found the fountain of you. It's incredible. You could go on forever. It blows my mind when I think about it. People are gonna get so tired. I called my mother yesterday already and I said I wonder so can you believe how much I am in heaven? I'm like getting the feeling of coming in the gym. I'm getting the feeling of coming at home. I'm getting the feeling of coming backstage when I pump up, when I pose out in front of 5,000 people, I get the same feeling. So I'm coming day and night. I mean, it's terrific.

Arnold has admitted that he was playing up the villain and pumping iron. But it's still true that this is how many people came to know him. He was the bragging, self absorbed foreign champ who psyched out Lou Ferrigno and laughed about it the whole time for his entire career. Arnold was comfortable talking about his success.

Now, Dr. Schwarzenegger, am I correct? You better believe it.

Nothing is exactly.

Well, it was an honorary degree in Humane letters and which is to.

You wrote nice letters.

Is that what that means? Hey, wait a minute now. This is for all the great charitable work that I've done with it. I don't even know if they will call it after I get through with it. Batman. Maybe they just call it Mr. Freeze. The more Mr. Freeze. Yeah. That you were the one that bought.

President Kennedy's golf clubs at that auction.

Is that true? That is absolutely true. Did you buy them? And they were like huge dough. Was it $700,000 I paid for it. 700,000.

Success alone may create admiration, but it doesn't create charisma. If you're seen as the bragger that's going to make you come across as very unlikable. This is the storybook villain. Imagine Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. Or the most arrogant athlete or rock star you can think of. So how do you move from admiration to actually being charismatic? The first thing that Arnold adds to the mix is a healthy dose of silliness. Look at some of the roles Arnold has taken, and it becomes clear that he doesn't always take himself so seriously.

I'm pregnant.

It might be a tumor.

It's not a tumor. It's not a tumor at all. Run. Go get to the chopper.

Arnold is even willing to make fun of these memes he unwittingly created in parodies of himself.

HP Motor. Here is a two peak HP Motor. And once we get that going, you're.

Going to really want to see.

Let's get to the chopper. All right.

So. So here's this mega successful guy who can talk about his achievements without blinking, but who is also comfortable looking like a goofball who can laugh at himself and handle being laughed at. I've mentioned before, when you make someone laugh, they tacitly accept just about everything that came before. Take a look how Arnold's joke switches a situation that could have been seen as braggy to one that makes you like him.

That you were the one that bought President Kennedy's golf clubs at that auction. Is that true? That is absolutely true. Did you buy them? And they were like a huge dough would. They bought $700,000. They paid for it and they did. 700,000. I was a good golf player, but now I go out there playing golf and every time I think about that price, I'm afraid to swing. You can't hit that.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like something stopping me. And to be honest with you, I mean, this is of course off the record, but I think it was bogus to pay this kind of a money because, Yeah, I paid $700,000. And they found out later on they could have gotten Teddy Kennedy for 600,000.

Really, adding the joke after makes the $700,000 that he spent on golf clubs seem a little bit less offensive. Here's another example.

The person that you all came here to see, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Isn't it cool how the American ambassador comes here and he introduces the main man? I love this Ambassador Bleich. Thank you very much for the great introduction. It's exactly the way I wrote it. Thank you.

You see, Arnold's actually talking himself up a bit here. But when he jokes that he paid the Guy to say all those nice things. He creates the laugh and we don't hold it against him. Without the joke. That could be very grating. With the joke, we like him even more. It's a tactic that can work but can easily go wrong if the joke doesn't land. Another trait that by itself could go badly is Arnold's willingness to make jokes at the expense of other people. Take a look.

Best look. Not the best look. That looked horrible. That was very stylish in its time. The jacket was down to your knees. You look like a little girl. I look like a little girl? Yeah, with all that flute slapper lunge around the waist. I saw it. I saw it. But we won't get into it.

Well, come back now. Lighthearted teasing can upset people, even your best friends, and even when they pretend that it's fine between you guys. So if you're going to do it, you want to do it like Arnold. Tease people with a smile on your face. Deadpan humor can be great, but not when joking at someone else's expense. Watch this next clip and see how the audience reacts when Arnold doesn't immediately smile, but then does come around and begin to laugh when he smiles and says he's proud of Jimmy.

This is very, very exciting for me because you're not the only big movie.

Star here because I actually happen to be have a part in Jurassic World.

I mean, if you think about it, they brought back the dinosaurs from extinction. Yeah. And they also brought back your movie career. I mean, this is really great. This is a pom pom, you know, double branded here. Interesting. I'm proud of you. Yeah. I'll tell you. Thank you very much. Yeah, I appreciate that.

Teasing is a dangerous path to walk. It can break rapport, especially if you are crazy successful like Arnold. When you're a millionaire governor and seven time Mr. Olympia, you run the risk of making the people around you feel inferior when you tease them. The same is going to be true of you if you are quote unquote, more successful than the person you're teasing. So use this sparingly. But there is another reason that Arnold's teaching are handled so well. And it's because he always has such a positive attitude. Take a look.

It's wonderful to be back here again in Australia. I love coming back here. I love your country. But Paul and I have become extremely good friends over the years and just give them a big hand. They're right over here. Thank you both for being here today. So it was really a spectacular place to hold the Mr. Olympia competition. And we bodybuilders felt so proud to be on that seat. Same kind of a stage and in this great, extraordinary architecture. It was one of those great events that I will never forget.

That's just from the first few minutes of one speech. And he's like this in most of his interviews. Arnold is almost endlessly positive. That can be a hard trait to cultivate, but Arnold gives us a glimpse of how he does it. Check it out.

And so it's all of this, the mental aspect that motivates you and that makes the difference between you being in the gym full of joy and looking forward to doing that extra rep and looking forward to doing those extra hundred reps in the sit ups and working past the pain barriers that always the mind. So you got to go to the gym and feel like every rep that you do is getting you one step closer to that goal, to make that vision that you have turn into reality. And that's why when you look at Pumping Iron, for instance, you can see that we always had great joy in the gymnasium.

Arnold doesn't feel like he has to go to the gym and train five hours a day. He gets to that crucial distinction, changes it from a chore to a treat. Imagine if you were able to view the time that you spent practicing a musical instrument or lifting weights or building your business as a treat that you were lucky to be able to do. How much better would you be? How much more enjoyable would that process become? So shift your thinking. What do you think that you have to do? Just for today, Try thinking about it as something that you get to do because it takes you one step closer to your goals. That's not only going to make the process of learning or working far more enjoyable, but it's going to make your charisma and your positivity shine through and people like you more. The last piece that I want to touch on is Arnold's Most Outstanding. He's achieved major success, but he's insistent that you and I and everyone else can too, take a look.

Thank so much for it can't be done. This is why I try to tell you anything and everything can be done if you can visualize it. If you believe in yourself, don't listen to the naysayers because there's always people out there that will tell you that you will not be able to do that. Forget it. It's a stupid dream that you have or a crazy vision, and those don't listen to the naysayers.

When Arnold tells his own incredible story. It inspires us because it shows us what we can accomplish if we adopt his attitude and mindsets.

Here's the goal, and whatever it takes to get there. I would do. Everyone would say, this is the wrong direction that I'm going, or I'm in a dream world. I'm useless. Whatever it was, I said, I'm gonna break through that no matter what it takes. I needed to reach that goal, that vision that I had of being a world champion. I said to myself, yes, it's painful. Yes, it's gonna hurt, but look at the consequences. It doesn't scare me. Your overall goal is not to create a career here within the military, they will stifle you. They will hold you back for the rest of your life. The key thing is to not let your eye off the adventure.

It's the way Arnold tells a story that makes it so inspiring, though it's subtle. But listen how Arnold will switch between first and second person. When he talks. He changes from I to you and then back again. This hits especially hard because even as he's telling a story, he's highlighting how it applies to you, the listener.

When I came back, you could not go just through the gates and say, hi, I'm back. So I found another place where I could sneak back in. The trick was to all of a sudden melt back into the room and you're part of the daily activities. So there was the idea it didn't work.

This technique of switching between I and you is especially powerful when Arnold speaks in terms that we see as a metaphor for our own lives. In this case, he's talking about lifting weights, saying we. But then he switches to you. This lets the metaphor of needing to fail sink into your own life, even though you weren't there, and you might never have lifted weights. The metaphor about failing is shaped in a way that it can apply to almost anyone, including you.

Because you're afraid that if you go all out, you may fail. Well, in weightlifting, we learned that very quickly. The only way you could break a record is if you're willing to fail. That's when you put on more weight. You try it. Sometimes you maybe don't. You would not be able to lift it, which has happened to me many times. But eventually, when you train hard enough, you will lift it. So don't be afraid to fail. I mean, how far can you fall?

Other mega achievers tell their story. It's inspiring and it's great. But not many will pause every few sentences to talk about what you can do. This might seem insignificant, but it's not. Arnold is constantly pulling out the lesson of what you are capable of from his own stories of overcoming adversity. This is what makes Arnold so charismatic. He makes us feel inspired and hungry for success, which quite frankly, feels amazing. We naturally associate all of those positive emotions right back to the storyteller, in this case Arnold. So adopt the same mentality. If you're going to share your successes, do it in a way that is, first off, unabashedly proud. Second, make sure that your story doesn't just elevate you, but is phrased in a way that gives the other person something to reflect on for their own life. And third, make sure to highlight the most important lessons by speaking them directly to the listener. Hopefully I've been able to do that for you here. If you're interested in the other things that are going to help you radiate charisma and make people feel great around you. There's four things in total, four emotions. And unfortunately, most people do these all wrong. They make a mistake in the order and they wind up butchering their first impressions. So if you're curious what those things are and how to avoid that mistake, we've set up another video that you can get by clicking the box right now. It's going to take you to another page where you submit your email and you can avoid making that mistake for the rest of your your life. If you've enjoyed this video and want to be the first to know whenever we post new ones, subscribe to the channel. That way we're going to pop up on your YouTube home screen every single week and you won't have to worry about ever missing a new video. So just click the button here or the little white thing in the top corner to do that and you'll get lots more breakdowns like these, plus the best tips that I have for being your most charismatic and confident self in the moments that count the most. If you have any video suggestions, please go ahead, write them down in the comments, especially for topics that you'd like to see more of. Arnold was a extremely popular request. Very, very popular. So I hope that you guys have enjoyed this video and I will see you in the next one.