Ted Lasso’s Guide For Making People Look Up To You

The character, Ted Lasso is probably most well known for his wildly positive attitude.

Ed Higgins.

Hey, three is a crowd.

Hey, that's a crowd. I don't mind being smack dab in the middle of buddy.

This is an awesome trait that we may cover in a future video, but in today's video, we're actually going to dive into leadership. While the show is pure fiction, Ted demonstrates techniques that real life leaders like Steve Jobs, Larry Page, and Phil Jackson used to achieve incredible success. If you already naturally do these things, it's a sign that under the right circumstances, you could be a fantastic leader. Although people may not give you quite as much loyalty as Ted gets in the show.

Fellas, I could watch you do this jaunty North Korean military thing you do all day, but I need a favor. We'll die for you, Coach.

Okay, so let's get into the details of leading people and more specifically, being someone that people want to follow. We'll show some clips with plot spoilers for season one, but we won't touch on season two. The first sign of a great leader is that they make everyone on the team feel like they matter. The show illustrates this well. On Ted's very first day as a coach of his new team, when he meets the team's equipment manager. You see a small habit here, but it's an important one.

So we're supposed to meet with Rebecca Welton.

Yeah, that's where I'm taking you.

Oh, look at this guy, one step ahead. Hey, what's your name, by the way? Me? Yeah.

No one ever asked my name.

And then later that day, we see this.

You continue to impress Nathan.

You remember my name.

This may seem like cliche TV stuff, but making people feel like they matter is a core part of being a leader. Author Simon Sinek lays it out well. In this next clip, he's explaining the test of a good leader according to a Marine Corps general. He knows it was a three star.

General in the Marine Corps. He says his test for leadership. And I love this, he goes, his test for a good leader is if you ask somebody how their day is going, you actually care about the answer.

The big mistake that most people make is to only tap into that genuine interest with their bosses or socially when they're talking to the most attractive person in a group. This is a common mistake, and it hurts you twice. Not only does it make the people you're blowing off feel like you don't care, it also makes the people you're trying to get to like you dislike you because it Creates the feeling that you're a taker or a user. You're only giving them attention because you want something from them. So the best thing you can do as a good person and for your own self interest is to make everyone feel like they matter without weighing what you think they'll be able to do for you. Ted lays it out.

Well, here, you gotta see the way I see it, okay? Everybody in this building, part of the team, part of AFC Richmond team's gotta bond.

Now, while you may consider everyone a part of the team, that doesn't mean that everyone else automatically bought in or cares about your goals as a leader. In fact, most people probably care mostly about themselves. TED star player Jamie Tartt takes this to the extreme after he scores a goal. Check it out. And thanks to budding superstar Jamie Tartt, Richmond are right back in it at.

2:1 in the 29th minute. That's he yelling me.

He's pointing at the name on his back.

And the people. Now, most people you're trying to lead won't be quite so obvious about it, but that's probably not too far off from some people's internal monologue. So what you want to do as a leader is align your goals. Instead of trying to get them to do something that's good for you, get them to do something that's good for them that also happens to be good for you. That's a sign of a natural leader. You don't try to persuade someone by talking about what you want or need. Simply put, speak in you, not I. As a side note, if you want to be a great leader, try to help your teammates achieve their goals, even when it doesn't benefit you. The show demonstrates this very well. Ted wants Jamie to be more of a team player, but what Jamie wants is to be considered a great footballer. Listen to how Ted aligns their two goals and starts the process of making Jamie into both.

I can honestly say you are the best athlete I have ever coached. You are truly great at everything you do out there, except for one thing. If you just figure out some way to turn that me into us, sky's the limit for you.

This one speech doesn't magically transform Jamie overnight, but it's a start. At least until Rebecca sabotages Ted. Now, that said, ultimately, as a leader, your goal isn't just to get people to do what you tell them. A good leader creates lieutenants. They set up other people to become leaders. Again, let's turn to the show just to see an example. This clip is from when Ted Was struggling to come up with new ideas for his offense.

So I am officially on the prowl for any new ideas, you hear.

Oh.

You got some, Nate?

No. So. No, no. God, no.

Never mind.

I'm sorry.

Come on, now. You're one of us. Let's go. Fire away. What do you got?

Okay, let's just.

Ted thinks anyone is capable of good ideas, and so he solicits Nate to speak up. In this next clip, you'll see that he also forces Nate to actually bet on himself and his idea or have it thrown out.

You know what?

It's not very. Even very good. It's probably really bad. You know, it's embarrassing even.

Sorry, Nate. I have a real tricky time hearing folks that don't believe in themselves. So I'm asking you real quick again, do you think this idea will work?

Yeah, I do.

Whoa. Why are you screaming at us, Nate? We're right here.

All right, come on now. Walk us through it.

This may also seem like something that only works in a scripted TV show, but Phil Jackson, one of the best NBA coaches of all time, had a similar philosophy. Here are a few quotes of his from his book on leadership. I always tried to foster an environment in which everybody played a leadership role, from the most unschooled rookie to the veteran superstar. The most effective approach is to nurture everyone else's leadership skills. When I did that, it paradoxically strengthens my role as a leader. This philosophy that anyone is capable of a great idea is also similar to Google's 20% project. Before Google's IPO, co founder Larry Page codified the project by saying, we encourage our employees to spend 20% of their time working on whatever they think will be most beneficial to Google. And Google credits this with some of their biggest innovations. You don't even have to try every single idea that's suggested to you in order to be a good leader. The sign of a good leader is if you're genuinely open to ideas outside of your own. There's another aspect to creating lieutenants that the TV show does a good job of showing. Watch this next clip for an example of it. After Nate tries to write a pregame speech for Ted.

Read through your thoughts. Yeah, they're great, and I agree with every last one of them, but I can't say this to you, but the.

Need to hear it.

I agree. That's why you're gonna do it. Are you drunk? You're giving the pre game talk. You're gonna read them this.

A good leader lets people get the credit for what they've done. A common mistake people make when they're in charge of something for the first time is to try to hoard all the credit for. But a good leader knows that if you feel proud of your work, you're going to work harder and do better. In that last example, Ted read the speech and actually made sure it was good. Then he pushes Nate to give it himself and it's a huge step in Nate's career. Ted's lack of ego also lets him actively solicit feedback and try to improve. This is one of the first things he does when he gets to his new team.

And if the Internet has taught us anything, it's that sometimes it's easier to speak our minds anonymously. Right. So I asked. Now you're here to make us a good old fashioned suggestion box. Hey, look at that.

Yeah. Did it with my niece. She loves crafts.

Uh huh. Yeah. I love glimpses into your personal life. It's lovely.

If you haven't seen the show, this comes at a time when Ted knows he's not very well liked by his new team. To them, he's a random American coaching a sport he knows nothing about. But he still makes it anonymous because he actually wants to know how to improve his team. Even if it means wading through a ton of insulting comments to get there. Wanker.

Let's see what else we got. Piss off, wanker. I hope you choke on a Big Mac. Good thing these are anonymous. You know Roy signed that one. Roy. Oh, here's a good one. Shower pressure is rubbish. Make a no to that.

Even if you're not currently a leader, this idea of soliciting feedback is one of the most powerful self improvement exercises you can do. For example, you can do a blind spot circle. That's where you sit down with a group of close friends and ask them for honest feedback on what they think your blind spots are. This can be terrifying. It can lead to things you don't want to hear and it can be an incredible catalyst for making positive change in your life. It works so well because if one person tells you constructive criticism, you probably have the urge to fight it or ignore it. Disagree. But if five close friends all have the same feedback, it's hard not to at least consider it deeply. Just make sure to do this with a group of people who respect you and whose opinions you respect. Another sign of a natural leader is having the empathy to understand the people you lead. Simply put, if you can put yourself in their shoes, you'll know how to get the best out of them. If a leader isn't able to do this, they need to create a lieutenant who can do it for them. Here's a quick clip from the show to illustrate the point. Notice that Ted's assistant coach is quick to assume a struggling player just doesn't have talent. But Ted's empathy clues him in to that. It might be something else.

Yes, it's Nigeria. Maybe the premiership's too much for him. No, he just needs to get a little more comfier, that's all. Well, he turns 20 on Saturday. There we go. Birthday, you know, we'll do something special for him. Nudge that ship in the right direction. Yeah.

Different things motivate different people. Some need tough love, some need positive reinforcement. Some need a mix of both. Some people need to be told exactly what to do, and others excel when given a goal and freedom to achieve it, however they see fitness. If you want to be a good leader, take the time to understand what motivates someone. If you can empathize with someone instead of demonizing them, you'll be better at aligning incentives, rewarding them, motivating them, and predicting what projects they'll succeed at. Once you do empower someone to succeed, the next habit of a good leader comes into play. Celebrate other people's wins. A theme you've probably already noticed is that if you want to be a good leader, you need to get people excited to follow you. Part of that process that many leaders ignore is making people feel appreciated. The show does a good job of highlighting the power of this, albeit with over the top enthusiasm, because it is still a TV show. Ted loves to praise and reward people who are helpful. For instance, he celebrates Rebecca for helping to block a bad paparazzi photo.

So I spoke to the owner of the Sun.

You spoke to God?

No, the newspaper. And he has agreed to not run the photo of you and Keely.

Mvp. Mvp. Mvp. Left leg. Okay. Yes. Okay.

Thank you, Ted.

Sorry. Yeah.

Bad leaders actually get their emotional reactions backwards. They react to good work with mild praise and they save their big emotional reactions for when they're yelling at people because they screwed up. Now that said, as a leader, you do need to create an environment where bad actions have consequences. But the key is to do it in a matter of fact way and not become someone who takes joy in punishing other people. This next scene shows it well for context. If you don't watch the show. Jamie is faking an injury here in protest of being moved to the bench. And he's basically refusing to practice unless.

He starts, tell you what, do me a favor. When you get out there, set the cone so the other reserves can do a little pass and drill.

I must say it's quite nice seeing Jamie put in his place once. Thrilling even, isn't it?

No, no, no, no, no. This is the no Schadenfreude zone, right? 9 Schaden Freud.

Being able to strike that balance of celebrating when people do well and having consequences for if they do something bad is a sign of strong leadership. Now these last two habits are signs of a natural leader that have less to do with other people and more to do with your own mindset. The first is a belief in a motivating vision. Steve Jobs has the best iconic story of this. When Steve was young and needed an all star CEO for Apple, he, he was able to poach John Scully from Pepsi. This was a huge win because at the time Pepsi was much larger and more well regarded. So how was Steve Jobs able to convince John to quit and come to Apple? Listen to John describe what happened.

And then he looked up at me and just stared at me with this stare that only Steve Jobs has and he said, do you want to sell sugar water for the rest of your life or do you want to come with me and change the world by.

Framing Pepsi as a company that just makes sugar water? Steve reframes his job offer. This isn't about money or prestige anymore. It's not about which company is bigger. It's about doing something that's meaningful, quote unquote. Motivating people towards a random goal they don't care about will be a constant battle against inaction because they don't care about what you're trying to achieve. You also heard there how John specifically mentioned Steve's eye contact. That's because it's not just about saying you're going to do something big. Anyone can do that. It's about sub communicating with your nonverbals that you really believe it'll happen. In a word, it's conviction. Ted shows that belief in his team even after suffering a season ending loss and demotion to a lower league.

So the next year we get ourselves a promotion which looks good on any resume. Then we come back to this league and we do something that no one believes we could ever do. Win the whole fucking thing.

That said, don't deny reality. This is a major mistake some people make when first becoming a leader. They want to be optimistic and show they have faith in their team so they pretend things are going better than they actually are. You cannot get where you want to go until you admit where you currently are. The show writers knew that even the eternal optimist, Ted, couldn't believably turn around a team without acknowledging that they're not in a good place and they need to shake things up. You can watch the scene here.

Got ourselves a tie game. Nice work, fellas. We're broken. We need to change.

If you're unwilling to admit where you're weak or what areas of your life aren't where you want them to be, then you'll never be able to put the work in to get better. This is something a lot of people struggle with, especially when it relates to things like leadership, confidence and social skills. It's extremely common to tell yourself lies like, I didn't get that promotion because life's unfair. It's harder to admit I didn't get it because I don't do great work or I don't have the people skills to make my boss like me. Similarly, it's easy to go to a bar and tell your friends, no one here is attractive. It's harder to admit, yes, that person is attractive, but I'm scared to talk to them. Before you can improve, you need to be able to take an honest assessment of where you are and and how near or far you actually are from where you want to be. Does that ring true or strike a nerve? Is there an area in your own life where you secretly wish you were doing better? Acknowledge it, accept it, even if you don't like it, and that will allow you to improve in that area. Now, depending on what that area is, you may like our 30 day program on charisma and confidence. Charisma and confidence aren't a magical cure all for all your problems, although I wish I could say they are. But if you're someone that wishes you had more friends or stronger friendships, a better dating life, better relationships at work, a promotion, or the ability to crush an interview for a new job. Those are goals that taking your charisma and confidence to the next level will help you achieve. If that's you, check out Charisma University. It's a step by step 30 day online program. It only takes 20 to 30 minutes a day, and it comes with a daily action guide that tells you exactly what to do each day to build unshakable confidence and build charismatic habits. You start doing without even thinking about it. There's two main differences between Charisma University and our YouTube videos. The first is that sequential setup. There's no guesswork in terms of how to build your charisma. It's all laid out for you in the easiest way possible. The second is it's literally guaranteed to change your life. If you don't think it's worth every penny, you can give yourself a 100% refund just by clicking a button inside the program. As of now, we've had 8,000 people go through the course and get a ton out of it. I'd love for you to do the same. People write us about new promotions, new jobs, new friends, new confidence, even marriages that they say would never have happened without Charisma University. I had confidence in some areas, but not in others. Then Charisma University changed that for me. Since beginning the program, I have seen noticeable changes in my life. It has helped me unlock the confidence that comes with knowing that I can go into any social situation and crush it. It costs less than half the price of one course at my college, but but it has had a far bigger impact on me than any traditional class I've enrolled in. Another member wrote in I've always been bad at expressing myself in situations that weren't one on one. In conversations, I'd find myself hesitant to speak or I'd get caught in my own head overthinking things. After cu, I am now way more confident in saying what I think and how I feel. Even in bigger group settings, I feel much more happy all the time. I was even able to talk to a woman I've had a crush on for about a year and made a great first impression. Overall, I love this course and I keep going back to it when I need a refresher on the Daily Action modules. And lastly, one member writes thank you so much for this program. After going through Charisma, I've made more friends, have higher self esteem, and can more easily talk to people I don't know. I've solidified my values and I know who I am. If you want to see if the program is right for you, you can click the link on screen now or in the description below to learn more about it. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this video. I really appreciate you taking the time to watch it and I hope to see you in the next one.

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