The 60-Second Trick To Stop Social Anxiety Fast

Today I'm going to teach you how to eliminate shyness in 60 seconds. Literally. That's as long as it takes if you do these three steps. So this is going to be useful to you if you've ever been out, because I know I have. And you've all of a sudden just gotten trapped in your head and maybe someone you knew left the conversation, maybe it was that someone you didn't know entered. Whatever it was, all of a sudden, the things that you have to say don't seem as clever or smart or funny or even worth expressing. And your hands, you don't know where to put them. You can't put them here. You can't put them here. It just feels uncomfortable. So I want to help you dispel that so that you don't hesitate and wind up missing out on to connect with people that you care about. The first step is going to be this. When that moment of shyness hits and the hands don't know where to go, you feel like you've got nothing worthwhile to say. Instantly recognize this and stop trying to do anything and just exist. In fact, let yourself suck. What I mean by this is you can be boring. When I feel this happen to me, it happens sometimes when I'm out at a bar or club and I've been separated from my friends and I find myself alone and. And feeling like I don't really want to jump back into conversation with anyone. But what I used to do was go, okay, you've got to. You got to be fun. This is your YouTube channel, your charisma on command. You got to do it. And I'd force myself in that moment. Giving yourself 20 to 30 seconds, just stand there and go, you know what? I'm gonna suck. I don't feel like doing this right now is such an amazing reboot. So what it looks like is I'll be out and I will literally, my hands will drop to my side. I'm not gonna smile. I'm not gonna make great eye contact. I might wander a little bit, but I'm gonna do as little as possible. And what this does is it frees me because what shyness is, is it's when you don't feel like the things you have to say are enough. When you don't feel like the way that you feel is enough or good enough to engage with other people. What happens when you allow yourself to be boring is you just. You give yourself that worst case scenario, right? That's gonna be much worse than this out at a bar or A club or a networking event. Right. And what that does is it eliminates the need to perform anything. And for me, this normally takes 20 to 30 seconds before I feel myself reset. And all of a sudden, I don't feel like I should do anything. After about 20, 30 seconds, I kind of feel like I want to, because now I'm boring myself or I'll just go home. But at this point, you know, you fully reset when you feel it switch from, I've got to I need to do this to I kind of want to. Now, caveat here. This doesn't mean that you pull out your phone and you text on your phone for 30 seconds. That's the opposite. That's you trying to look busy, right? That's the opposite. It doesn't mean that you go up against a bar or you stand there and try to look cool or you try to look powerful. You actually release the judgments of everybody else. If they're gonna think you're boring, totally fine. But you don't try to look like anything. You let yourself just go slack, breathe deep. 30 seconds later, you're gonna feel a massive difference. And that's when step two comes in. So this is the reboot step one. Step two is when we want to get started on the right foot. And you've heard me say this before, but the best way to do this is not necessarily to jump into conversation, but in my experience, is to your body. The problem with shyness is that the voices in your head that are telling you that what you have to say isn't good enough or that you should just shut up, that your hands are in the wrong place. Those voices are more numerous and louder than your actual voice. You're not speaking. You're interior, not exterior. We've got to get you out of your head. And a body is a great place to go. I focus on three things. I'm normally concerned with my arms. I need to move these guys around for sure. My voice. And when I say my voice, I mean my whole vocal apparatus talking down through my diaphragm, through the pelvic floor. The deeper I can breathe, the lower I can make my resonance, the better I'm going to feel. And then, of course, lastly, once I get these things going, my face, my eyes, and my smile. The way I do this depends on the environment. If I'm at a club, I want to go to the place where I can move and make all of these things be as vibrant as possible. That's the dance floor for me. So I'll Go to the dance floor. 20, 30 seconds, I dance, I will make noise, I'll yell to my friends. Whatever it is that's going to make me feel better, it's going to make me smile. Right? 20, 30 seconds of that. I'm in a great mood. What if I'm not at a club? What if you're not at a club? Because we feel shy in lots of places. Let's say that you're in an office. Do it to the degree that you can. So if you're in an office, you're sitting at a meeting and you're okay, I'm feeling shy. Slack. Reset. Okay, arms. My arms need to open up. Go out, expose the underside of your body. Just let it go. So not your body. If you expose the underside of your arm, that's going to make you feel a little bit more at ease. Your voice to the degree that you can, if you have anything, chime in. But if you can't, even just humming or breathing deep, that's going to engage sort of these vibrational things that I have found are key actually to feeling good. And then lastly the face. If somebody's talking, you can look them in the eye, you can send positive, you know, feedback via your smile on your eyes. That kind of stuff is going to get you back to a place that you want to be. And worst case scenario, you're in a three person conversation, these two people are talking and you just feel completely left out. You can't touch him, you can't get big. What do you do? Well, what you can, you can stretch your arms. Okay, that's step one. Not bad with your voice. If you need to, you can actively listen. Oh yeah, cool. Oh, he hadn't said that to me. Interesting, right? You get your voice going, you get those vibrations going. I'm telling you, it makes a difference. And then of course, your eyes and your smile, look them in the eye, give them some active feedback. With this, the more that you move, the more easy that is going to feel to get all these three things in place. Which brings me to step three. We've used up basically the full minute. First half is the reset. Second half is getting ourselves off on a good foot by getting into the body. The third thing is sealing it because we don't want to go back into our head. So to seal it, you find the most receptive nearest person that you can go speak to. Typically you want to use something that is prepared beforehand. And what I mean by that is that I don't want you going back into Your head and going, crap. What do I say now? What do I say to him? On a networking fan, it's so dumb to ask where you know what you do. I know what he does. He's in my company. I don't want you back in your head. So typically it's good to have prepared for the situations that you find yourself. Something common that you can say to strike up conversation. It didn't depend wherever you are. When I was in Costa rica, I was 19 years old when I arrived there. I was a shy kid and I didn't speak really any Spanish and I had found it hard to connect, quite frankly. But one of the things that I did inadvertently was I would ask people because I just wanted to so bad. I would ask for directions when I already knew where I was going. So like I'd be on my way to the photocopier at a class and say, hey, do you know where the photocopier is? And something interesting happened as I did this. Some people would just tell me I got to practice my Spanish. Some people though would tell me and then walk with me and ask me questions about where I was from, what I was doing, and hey, did I want to come out and hang out to the bar with them that night. And what I found was because I was just a different kind of person in this small town. It was called Herdia. I went to Launa. Write it in the comments if you've been there, I'm sure some of you have. But what I found was that because I was different, people were trying to reach out to me. Now, I get that that's not what you have, but what I can give you are two killer prepared lines that are going to help you in most situations, like 95%. First one is if you do not know the person, and that's very simple, you walk up to them at this point you've broken your sinus, say, hey, what's up? I don't think I've met you yet. I am Charlie or I am your name. And what that does, that I don't think I've met you yet, is so powerful. You could say hi, that works, but this is better because what that communicates is I know a lot of people here and this is an environment in which people are saying hi. So you should be polite and friendly. It works very, very well. Take that one. Use it with people you don't know. If you're in conversation with people you do know or maybe someone you just met, you can't reintroduce yourself. One of the very simple things is to just take the phrase, hey, this is totally random, but and then say whatever you want and specifically speak to a passion. Speak to something you like. So say you like books and you're fascinated by the kinds of books that people read, which you might say is, you know, low in conversation. Hey, this is totally random, but have you read any good books lately? I always like to ask people, right? Or hey, this is totally random, but have you actually seen any good movies? I'm looking for one that I should see this weekend. Whatever it is, pick something that you're interested in because then that topic of conversation is more likely to be one that you're interested in. So that is how you break shyness. I wanted to give you something just for this situation. When you're actually uncomfortable, I realize there's things you can do beforehand. You've got a whole conversation at this point to handle. But the more that you are out of your head and in your voice, shyness will disappear, right? You cannot feel shy when you are exterior to yourself, only when you are judging yourself and wondering how other people are judging you. And this is meant to break that state. So I hope that you found it helpful. If you are interested in 60 seconds to get confident. It's weird. I have like 60 seconds to get to most of the emotions that I want to do and there are tweaks depending on where I'm trying to go. But if you're curious, if you confidence. This is something that I use before these videos. This is something that I do when I go out. Something that I would do if I, you know, were speaking publicly. If you want to get that, go ahead, click the link the box here. If you're on mobile, click that little I button that will pop up the white guy. It's going to take you to a different page where you can drop your email and it will show you that video. Things that you can do in 60 seconds to be confident. If you've liked this video, please subscribe to the channel. It's going to help you get more tips like this on a weekly basis. Plus our charisma breakdowns of the most charismatic people. The things that they do that make them so much more charismatic and confident than 99% of the world. And things that you can do too. So go ahead, subscribe. You get that stuff on your homepage and I believe they even send you an email. I'm not sure whenever we do a new upload. So hope that you guys have found this helpful. I hope that this tip is good. I know shyness can be a really, really daunting thing. I've dealt with it a lot in my own life, and this isn't intended to eradicate it from your entirety of your life, but it is how you can stop it in the moment when you have it, which I find is really the thing that most of us want to do most. So I hope that you found this helpful and I look forward to seeing you in the next video.