This Trait Attracts Feminine Women

I've covered a lot of different traits of attractive men on this channel. You've got playful teasing. I have a gluten allergy, so I can't really eat.

You have a gluten allergy? That's so unusual to hear from an actress. No, it's for real. Oh, it is. No, for real.

High conviction.

Why are you shaking, Emma? Yeah, nobody's shaking.

And of course, strong body language.

So the next time you go stomping around like a four year old throwing tantrums with me, I'll be the one getting rid of you.

All of those work for attracting women, but today I want to touch on a de deeper principle that I have never mentioned. This one is not nearly as obvious as those others, but it is a trait that women pick up on and respond to incredibly powerfully. And it is called grounded masculinity. It is that quiet aura that men who know how to engage with the feminine radiate effortlessly. Okay, so let's dive into a concrete example. This moment from the show Survivor. In it, a woman named Eva is competing in a challenge. If she loses survivors, someone on her team is getting kicked out and she is having a hard time. Just when it looks like she's about to throw the challenge, she comes through though, and she wins for her team. Everyone is thrilled and jumps on her.

No clinch. In Survivor, Eva pulls it out for logging.

What none of them know is that Eva has autism, so her emotions can more easily become overwhelming to her. So everyone thinks that she's crying tears of joy, but actually she. She's in distress. Only one guy who is on the other tribe sees that something is wrong. So even though you're normally not allowed to mix tribes after these challenges, the host gives him the green light to walk over. And then this happens. Jo, who she'd connected with earlier in the show, knows exactly what to do.

Thank you. Thank you.

He contains attunes to and grounds her, and in a matter of minutes, she's back to feeling excellent. You're in a safe place. So I want to break down all three of these skills because they will help you tap into that grounded masculinity, attract women almost effortlessly, and if you already have, someone that you're dating, will help in your relationship as well. So let's start with containment. Containment means providing safety for an emotional experience to exist. Now, this has two parts. The first part of any container is space. Holding space for someone means that you let them have their emotion. You don't jump in and immediately fix it or provide advice or say how the same thing happened to you once. You give the other person space to express what they're feeling without smothering them. And I broke this down in detail in the Theo Vaughn video. But it's worth showing that incredible example just one time. Here, watch how Theo's space holding impacts Sean's emotional expression.

Yeah, I'm sorry, bud. So.

I'm sorry, buddy.

It's all good, dude.

We don't have to talk, man. I can just sit here with you for a minute. The second aspect of containment, though, is the opposite of space. It's boundaries, because you can't give infinite space for someone to have their emotional expression. For instance, you wouldn't let someone that you love close call up their boss and curse them out just because they came home upset. So containment involves sensing when someone is no longer in a healthy expression of emotion, but is looping in a way that is likely re traumatizing them or doing serious damage to their relationships. In these cases, loving boundaries are placed on what you will support them doing. And that can mean advising them to take a breath physically holding them, or in some cases, saying something like, I love you. But if you're going to continue with this course of action, I need to step out of the room. But how do you know whether more space for expression or firm boundaries are called for in any particular moment? Now, this is where the second pillar of grounded masculinity comes in, and it is empathetic attunement. This is the ability to feel what other people are feeling without getting lost in those feelings. So one part of you is in the emotion with them, but another part has a grasp on the bigger picture. For instance, in the Good Will Hunting scene, it is this skill of empathetic attunement that allows the therapist to listen to Will deeply. So, yes, Will is literally saying, I'm okay. Get away from me. But with empathetic attunement, the therapist and you can respond to the deeper communication. In this case, it's, I need help, but I'm afraid that I can't trust you.

It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Don't fuck with me. It's not your fault. Don't fuck with me. All right? Don't fuck with me, Sean, not you. It's not you fault. It's not your fault.

Having this ability is a superpower, and it will help you immensely in any romantic relationship. And you can develop it in two ways. One that takes a while and one that you can use today. The One that takes a while, lasts longer, and it is giving yourself empathy. Literally, you feel your own feelings, and that makes you better at supporting others. Theo Vaughan, I think, was so effective with Shawn because he had done his own work in therapy. I've just done a ton of yoga meditation. I tried the ketamine with a therapist in the room, but that obviously takes time. So if you want to boost your attunement skills today, try this. Mirror someone's physiology as you're listening to them. Smile with them, cringe with them, lean in or cross your arms as they do. From there, you can just label how you feel in their body language. Saying something like, wow, that sounds really exciting or scary, confusing, whatever. It sounds simple, but it makes people feel like you feel them. Which is exactly what most women are seeking. And yes, it's a joke, but this video of a woman with the nail on her head resonated for exactly this reason.

It. It is not about the nail. Are you sure? Because, I mean, I'll bet if we got that out of there, stop trying to fix it. No, I'm not trying to fix it. I'm just pointing out that maybe the nail is causing. You always do this. You always try to fix things when what I really need is for you to just listen.

Now, Joe doesn't mirror Ava's body language, but he does pay incredibly close attention to her, which is how he's able to attune and tell that things have gotten out of hand before anyone else catches on. So in those situations where you see that someone is out of control and needs support, the mature masculine will offer the feminine grounding. This means that you will find ways to bring them back to the concrete reality of now. To their feet on the ground, the breath in their belly, the safety of this moment. And that's because most emotional episodes have to do with past hurts or future anxieties. Right now is actually safe, but the other person has just lost sight of that. That is exactly what is going on in this scene. Ava has won the challenge. She's safe now. Now, logical men can make a mistake here and try to point out all of the reasons that things aren't as bad as they may feel. This generally has a limited impact, as you may have seen. So the most effective way to help someone, particularly someone who is feminine, return to a sense of safety is not with logic. It is by co regulating your nervous systems. Now, this works because we can feel the emotional states of other people, especially if we're physically close to them. And you've Lived this. I'm sure that there's been times where someone around you is really anxious and it started to rub off on you. Likewise, if you come into close contact with someone who's grounded in the now, you'll start to relax. And that is exactly what happens with Joe and Ava. The best way to co regulate with another person is to take a deep breath and focus on your own exhale. Let it last longer than usual, maybe six to eight seconds, and do it through your teeth so it'll sound like sh. This brings us to a fascinating point that most men do not really grasp. The feminine mode has a heightened awareness of and sensitivity to safety. In the masculine mode, we can often lose sight of this. But most women spend a considerable amount of energy scanning for safety, both physical and emotional. They spend more energy on this than most men realize. And for them, it becomes almost like a sixth sense that draws them to certain people and away from others. So how does a woman know who can be trusted with her safety? For instance, Ava told only one person about her autism, fearing that people might use it against her in the game. So how did she immediately know that that person would be Joe? How did she know that he would respond like this?

I have autism, and that's a really big part of my life. And I wanted to share that with you because you're the person I trust the most out of you. Absolutely love to help you with that situation. Thank you. Yes. Yes. That's awesome. All right. I got you. And I'm proud of you for being here with that.

Now we can point to obvious and important things. Jo is physically strong. He's a father, a firefighter who regularly puts other people before himself. All of those things are important and definitely factored into her. But one essential piece that is so often missed and I believe is the next big evolution for men is that safe men, men who effortlessly attract feminine women, have integrated their own feminine aspects without being dominated by them. That means that to attract women in this way, you have to love and care for the feminine parts of yourself. That means offering yourself a safe place for emotional expression. Now, frankly, most men have not done this. Generally, we have very tight emotional limits that were placed on us by our culture when we were small. So we meet our difficult emotions with an attempt to fix, change, or crush them, almost never by expressing them in a safe place. And that was definitely true for me up until just a few years ago. But if you begin to enter into and work through your own emotional storms, you will know exactly what to do with someone else who is going through it feeling fairly effortlessly, you will act in ways that make women and men feel deeply supported and grateful for your presence. Now, I would love to do more on these topics, so let me know if that's of interest. If, on the other hand, you prefer more concrete habits to attract women and really build your confidence and charisma, you might like my course Charisma University. It's our step by step 30 day course to make confidence easy to tap into in any moment so that people and opportunities naturally gravitate to you. Here's what one member had to say about the soft skills that he took from the course. I highly recommend Charisma on command to any people, professionals or businesses looking to add practical edge in the world of soft skills and relationship building in both professional and personal situations. The training videos are super easy to follow. The summaries are easy to note down and make very efficient for easy following. One of my best investments in personal growth and leadership training. Beautiful, simple and lifelong lessons. Now if you do join the course, it comes with a 60 day money back guarantee which is 100% for any reason at all. And it's 60 days even though the course only takes 30 because I want to make sure that every single member truly feels like they're getting a ton of value from the course. So if you'd like to check it out, click the link on screen now or below in the description. There's been thousands of members who went through this program and got a ton out of it, and I'd love for you to do the same. Either way, I hope that you enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.