What Love On The Spectrum Teaches About Charisma

I know I'm late to the party on this one, but I was watching Love on the Spectrum Season 4 and I absolutely fell in love with the one and only Logan. I wonder who that Logan is. And not only is Logan such a sweet, genuine, heartfelt guy, but several of his lines had me literally taking notes on my phone. Like, this is charisma advice that I want to steal because it's off the charts. Now, what's interesting is that some of this advice, some of what I'm calling charismatic, has made it challenging for Logan to connect with other people. So what's going on with this disconnect? Well, what Logan is doing is charismatic, but you have to approach it in a certain way. So there's two groups of people that I hope learn from this video. First, if you are neurodivergent, I hope that learning from Logan, plus some of these little tweaks I'm going to suggest, makes it easier for you to connect with people. And second, if you're neurotypical, there's some flat-out genuinely great charisma advice, no caveats needed, that you can just take. So first off, you have literal jokes. If you know anyone who's autistic, they tend to take things very literally and miss some of the implied subtext. But this actually can create an incredible opportunity for humor. It's just not always intended. Watch here. Hey, how are you, Logan? Good. What's happening?

Oh, nothing. Just, just, uh, opening the door.

Now, I'm not saying that this is the perfect charismatic response, but hear me out. If you ask most people what they're up to, the default answer for neurotypical people is nothing or not much. What about you? And that is one of the worst responses you can give because it kills any conversational momentum. So literally saying anything else here is better than saying nothing or not much. So Logan has half of the equation. You can just lower your filter and say the literal truth of what you're doing. So what are you doing?

I'm just, uh, just sitting next to the lamp.

But what would take this to the next level is to be literal and add enthusiasm or positivity. So it would be, "What's going on?" And you would say, "Just opened the door, feeling super excited for my big Netflix show," or in my case, it'd be, "Watching League of Legends, dude, I love YouTube." What you're doing in any given moment is enough. You just need to own it with positivity. And if you're not feeling positive when someone asks you what you're up to, that's fine, but including some emotion will at least give you both somewhere to begin the conversation. And that brings us to the second bit which is cocky jokes. Those look like this. I like that blue jacket.

Mm-hmm. Figured you would.

Again, most people have a normal conditioned response when they're complimented. "It's nothing," or "Thanks," or "I like your jacket too," and all of those are fine but you're completely on conversational rails. It's really boring so answering with something that's obviously over the top and cocky usually gets you a laugh. Logan actually has a great line that you can use verbatim pretty much anywhere, and it looks like this: Now that's what I call dating. So just imagine that you're at a party, someone comes over to you while you're making drinks, you're finishing, and go, now that's what I call pouring a drink. Easy laugh. Or you're at work and you're working with someone to finish up a slide deck. As you complete it, you say, that's what I call PowerPointing. It's easy, it's repeatable, and if you say it with knowing enthusiasm, it's going to brighten other people's days and get a laugh. Now next up, we have tension diffusers. We've all had experiences where we're talking or We're telling a story and people seem to not follow us or lose interest in what we're saying like this: People who, who, you know, they think they're cool and they got their stuff and—

heh heh. Which people? I have no idea what I'm talking about, Kean. I'm just a little bit nervous but it's okay, I can do this.

So when we get to this stage, a lot of us double down and try to race to explain so that we're understood or we can save the story. But what if you responded like this when you sense that people were confused or you were losing their attention?

I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Now, I have a friend who does this anytime he feels like he's losing the audience, and it never fails to get a laugh and have people either say why they were distracted or tell him to continue. So next time you're telling a story and you feel like you're rambling, just try, "I have no idea what I'm talking about." See what happens. Usually, people will come in and help you finish your story or laugh at what you've said. Don't do this in work, though. Social settings only. Now, what's interesting about everything we've talked about is that they are ways that Logan is honest rather than playing into the implied social script. I think the most endearing and genuinely heartwarming way that he does this is in how he expresses his admiration and appreciation for other people. There's no attempt to restrain himself.

Mom, I couldn't have done this without you. Oh, you're so sweet. Aww. Mom, she's such a nice girl. I really hope I can see her more.

I hope you do too, sweetheart. And I think we all used to be like this, but then something happened where we learned that you might get teased if you're too enthusiastic about something you're interested in, or you might be rejected if you're too forward in your admiration for someone. So we have this epidemic of nonchalance that creeps in as everyone's trying to show their status by being unmoved and unimpressed by other people and by life in general. Now, I get why we do that. Many people will penalize you if you're too eager because they feel it reflects a status mismatch. But there is a way to handle this without descending into self-restraint. It's to give excited, sincere compliments to express your full admiration for other people without needing them to give you anything back. You see, sometimes we could be kind to other people just because we don't know what else to say. We're trying to get them to do the compliment reciprocation thing where they compliment want us back, and that will alienate people. They feel that. But when you can be vulnerable and unrestrained in your appreciation without needing anything back from them, it's the most charismatic thing ever. It's like you have this insane amount of wealth, which is just your loving perspective, and you're offering it freely and honestly to everyone. And I think that is what I love so much about not just Logan, but the entire Love on the Spectrum cast. There's no withholding of their love in order to maneuver. Socially. I think that's why the show is so popular because all of us want that. We want to embody that more. And if you're wanting to be more radiant all the time and do it in a way that is charismatic and matches who you authentically are, you may be interested in joining our course, Charisma University. It's our 30-day program that is full of these little tweaks that make a huge difference. So you're getting to be more of yourself in a way that increases the respect and the magnetism that other people feel when they're around you. This is the fastest way that I know of. It's the best thing I've been able to create to improve your charisma and your confidence, and I'm actually currently working on upgrades. So if you want to check it out, go ahead, click the link below. I would love to see you inside. Either way, I hope that you've enjoyed this video, and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.