You Probably Know A Narcissist (here’s how to spot them)

There are people in this world looking to take advantage of others. Whether they are classified as narcissistic, sociopathic, compulsive, or pathological liars, they operate differently from most people that you will encounter, which makes them even more dangerous because they don't stand out in an obvious way. So in this video, you're going to learn how to detect some of those types. And we will be taking Elizabeth Holmes as our primary example. She was able to raise nearly $1 billion for her company, Theranos, which promised to run full blood scans off just a few drops of blood from your finger. And this, of course, would have been a revolution in the medical industry if it were real. Behind the scenes, Elizabeth and her boyfriend Sonny were hiding the fact that these tests did not and never worked. They defrauded investors and over a million people who got those Theranos tests expecting accurate readings, which, of course, was impossible. Now, unfortunately, Elizabeth Holmes is not totally unique. The NIH reports that 6.2% of the US has narcissistic personality disorder. And Dr. Paul Ekman says that no more than 5% of people are pathological liar. That's still potentially 1 in 20 people. That's why in this video, we're going to explore how you can detect these dangerous personalities before they take advantage, since you're probably going to encounter some of them in your life. And I'm not trying to label them exactly, but they often exhibit behaviors that are consistent with narcissistic personality disorder. So first off, a large motivator for these types of personalities is having the world view them in a way that strokes their ego. They are hyper driven to maintain the Persona that they have constructed. So keep an eye out for people with an intense focus on their image. For example, Elizabeth Holmes wanted to be the female Steve Jobs, so she wore black turtlenecks, copied his live demo slow reveal of the product, and hired a bunch of ex Apple employees at the beginning of her company. Now, of course, lots of people have idols that they emulate, but a major tip off that you're dealing with a dangerous personality is that in an attempt to maintain their Persona, they will lie about seemingly ridiculous things. Maybe they tell fantastic stories about their own life that never happened. Like the Fyre Festival co founder who insisted that he had purchased an island owned by Pablo Escobar, when in fact, they were actually kicked off of that island by the real owner for even mentioning Pablo Escobar's name in the promotional materials. Now, in Elizabeth's case, one ridiculous lie she told all the time was about her voice. Listen to the baritone that she affected nearly all the time.

This is what happens when you work to change things. And first they think you're crazy, then they fight you, and then all of a sudden you change the world.

And that clip is from the beginning of the interview. She is collected and prepared. But as employees later reported, that baritone would sometimes slip at the end of a long day, leaving her speaking in a fairly typical sounding voice for a young woman. And you can see the same thing occur briefly in that same interview. Once the questions get tougher, then they.

Fight you, and then all of a sudden you change the world. San Francisco paper in Fortune. I talked about it in an interview I did with Forbes that we made a decision to expand our test menu.

Since there's no real victim. This type of lie to promote a particular image might seem quirky and forgivable. But be very wary of these, for they can be signs of a deeper need to control how people see them, and which is a textbook narcissistic trait. And these people are often very disconnected from the feelings of guilt or shame that would discourage other people from fraudulent and damaging behavior. These types also tend to have a very different relationship with lying in general. Most people have limits on how flagrantly we're willing to lie. We prefer instead to bend the truth. And the more egregious our lies become, the more visibly uncomfortable we are. Not so much with the narcissistic type. They can tell bald faced, flagrantly false lies without skipping a beat. Listen, for instance, how Theranos demoed some of their fake tests.

They would stage these demos, they would prick the visiting VIP's finger. They would put the blood in the cartridge, slot the cartridge into the mini lab. You know, it'd start whirring and then they would say, it's going to take a little while. Why don't you come and either visit the lab or. And so the VIP would leave the room, and then a Theranos employee would stop the machine, take the blood out and bring it to the lab. And that little blood sample would either get tested at the bench by one of their laboratory technicians or on one of the Siemens machines.

These demos happened repeatedly with extremely smart people, including an ex Secretary of State and Silicon Valley investors whose job is to be skeptical. But not one of them ever caught Elizabeth, very likely, because she doesn't exhibit the same nervousness around lying that most other people would. So do not assume that a calm demeanor means that someone is telling you the truth, especially if they are. This narcissistic type if this person is for instance, or even deeper on that spectrum into psychopathy. Studies that involve FMRI scans show that they might not even spend any extra time processing a lie because their brains don't need to seem to suppress the truth, to even focus attention or control body language. All of that occurs naturally to them. It's like they're inventing a world in their head with no effort. And this is how many people get fooled by compulsive and pathological liars. They assume that lying must stress other people out because it stresses them out and it makes no sense that anyone could lie so comfortably. So they assume that comfortable demeanor means the liar is telling the truth. A much better heuristic for you to detect pathological lies is the 10,000 foot view. And this means rather than watching one individual's body language, or even listening to their explanations, of which there will be many, you summarize their claims at a very high level and then you let your intuition tell you if that just makes sense. In the case of Elizabeth Holmes, this is exactly how the reporter who cracked her case was first inspired to dig into her story.

And that story, that something that struck me as odd, which was this notion that a 19 year old college dropout with just two semesters of chemical engineering under her belt had dropped out of college and pioneered groundbreaking new science. You know, that's something that's possible in the realm of computers and computer software. Obviously Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates have done that. But in medical science you need the formal training and you need to do years and decades of research to add value.

This is an important point. It seems that psychopaths, sociopaths, whatever you call them, and I'm not saying that Elizabeth Holmes falls into this particular category, but whatever this compulsive lying category is, these people have an easier time tricking our brains than they do our gut reactions. And it's partially because they have an explanation for everything. Here's one example.

My grandfather would go get a Theranos test done and he would have a needle in his arm. You know, it's like, well, I thought this was a single drop of blood. And there'd be some, you know, excuse about why they needed to take a Venus draw for him, but you know, for everybody else it's a finger prick. And he continued to buy into that.

Another thing you tend to notice about this type is that they often don't give up on the lie. When most of us get caught red handed, we slump our shoulders in defeat. All that is left to do is feel shame, say we're sorry, and hopefully be forgiven. But this type of person who lies compulsively will continue even when the cat is out of the bag. Because Billy McFarlane of Fyre Festival Infamy, for instance, ran a second scam while he was out on bail. He offered his email list for the Fyre Festival tickets to the Grammys to meet and greets with celebrities like LeBron James, of course, which he had no access to if they would just send him some money. Now listen to what Elizabeth Holmes told investors just a month before Theranos shut its doors after she had been barred from holding a position that as an officer of a public company by the sec.

In a letter to shareholders that day, she basically explained that the company would likely be liquidated by the end of July. Wow. But the interesting thing is that she is telling people that she's going to start a new company. Oh my God, that is so deranged.

That's right. Even after being convicted of securities fraud and with criminal charges pending, Elizabeth maintained the idea that she would be running a company soon. And again, this just goes to illustrate that this type has a very different relationship with the truth. Image takes precedence over external reality, and it seems to happen effortlessly. Finally, in the event that you do raise your issues with this type of person, they're very likely to dismiss you and throw you off in one of two ways. Typically, they will label you a hater and cut you out, as Elizabeth Holmes and her boyfriend did when subordinates raised issues. He received this email from Sunny Balwani. That reckless comment based on absolute ignorance is so insulting to me that had any other person made these statements, we would have held them accountable in the strongest way. The only reason I have taken so much time away from work to address this personally is because you are Mr. Schultz's grandson. The only email on this topic I want to see from you going forward is an apology. Or if you're more powerful, they'll assuage your concerns by appealing to some kind of conspiracy against them. Holmes, for instance, said that no one could see the technology at Theranos for this reason.

The only way that we were going to get responses to our questions was if we signed NDAs because the Theranos proprietary technology, these trade secrets, were so valuable that Quest and LabCorp, the two dominant players in the lab industry, were trying to find out answers to these questions by any means possible.

So when you start hearing with us or against us ultimatums, or hearing about how is necessary for reasons that might make for a good plot in a John Grisham novel. Be on Red Alert in my experience, it is more often the case that someone is trying to con you. If you want to learn to be more charismatic and captivating without being a conman narcissist, you might want to check out our online course Charisma University. It is a 30 day program that gives you exactly what you need every day in about 15 to 20 minutes to maximize your confidence and charisma. That comes complete with a daily action guide so you're not guessing what to do every single day. Now you can read all about the details of it in the link below, but I figured the strongest way to let you know what it's about is to just let the members speak for themselves. So here are just a few of the things that CU members have written in the first one comes from a guy who got promoted to a senior position early in his career. He says, I don't even have a bachelor diploma yet. They want me to fill this position. And when I asked why, this was the answer. You have great social skills, which is rare for an engineer. You think quick on your feet and you are open and self assured in your demeanor. Thank you so much for all that you've taught me. You've truly changed my life because without cu, I wouldn't have qualified for that position in a million lifetimes. Now this one comes from another person who just started a new job says, I want to let you know that I nailed those first days at work. Everything that I needed was right there at the right moment. The confidence, the energy, the smile, the positive mindset. And with all your tips from last Tuesday in mind, it could just not go wrong. And he finishes by saying, I just want to emphasize that what I did the previous days would even, not even not have come to mind if I had not discovered that charisma is a skill that can be learned thanks to your YouTube channel and university program. And this last one is a comment in the course itself from someone who used it mainly to improve their social and dating life. They say life changing in six weeks. I went from being socially awkward with few friends to the life of every event I attend. I also went from having serious girl problems to dating the girl of my dreams. Charisma University transformed me from a lonely introvert hoping to better connect with people to an energy filled extrovert who makes new friends everywhere I go. I am so happy I joined. And of course these are all effusive, 100% real. Did not ask for these people to write these things. But this is what some of the things have been said and you can see more in the comments if you decide to join the course. If you do that, it comes with a 60 day money back guarantee, which is 100% for any reason at all. And we have that just to make sure that every single member truly feels like they're getting a ton of value from the course. Otherwise you don't have to stay. So if you want to check the course out, go ahead, click the link on screen now or below in the description. If you'd like to check out another video, we have those above as well. Either way, I look forward to seeing you in the next video.