Fear - How to work with it

Hey, Charlotte Free World here. I am making a video outside. We still have hurricane shutters up after Hurricane Dorian passed our way here. We were very lucky, nothing happened. But instead of putting the artificial light on inside, I decided it would be easier to shoot the video outside. See, I made a promise today to make this video, and I decided to talk about fear. Why? Because I have some fear I'm working on, and I said, what better subject could I choose than talk about fear when I can use myself as an example? We all have fear. Let's just face that. I talked to one of my kids about it this morning, and as I told him, I said, everybody Everybody has fear, and if someone tells you that he or she never fears anything, they're lying, because that's just part of being a human. But we can learn to control our fear, and we can even learn to work with our fear. Having said that, it may not always be easy, and I think sometimes it can be more challenging in some areas of our life than in other areas, and that's what I'm experiencing. So let me tell you about what my fear is that I am working on breaking through right now, and that is to make videos and move on to making Facebook Lives. I can't count how many people have encouraged me to start doing videos and Facebook Lives to share my— when I talk about things that I help and assist especially busy moms with who wants to make their own money. And I've— I know that's what I want to do. I enjoy myself to watch other people's videos and listen to podcasts and YouTube videos and learn through that media. So why not do that myself? But I have just been— we can call it procrastinating— I've been talking myself out of it again and again and again. So I thought, let me use myself as an example in this video here. I've— so what I talked to my coach about today, because I was on a call with her today, and I said, okay, I broke my commitment. I didn't do what we talked about last week. And of course I didn't feel good about it because that's not how I want to show up in the world. That's why I have a coach. So that's something I always recommend people. If they have something they want to be better at or learn, find a coach who already has mastered this, whatever skill it is you want to learn. And I shared with her how I've just talked myself out of it by comparing myself to others. I know English is my second language. I want to create my videos and let Facebook Lives in English, and I still to this day sometimes feel like, oh, my English is not perfect, I don't speak the way I want. When I listen to videos, I'm like, it could be better. All this self-judgment, da da da da da, and not doing anything about it. So I promised to make a video today, and here I am. And I spent a little bit time thinking about this thing, fear, because it's not that I haven't learned to manage my fear in many other areas of my life. And you know, sometimes I've been thinking about how ridiculous is it that I have this fear about making videos and Facebook Lives, but let's just be real, that's, that's what I'm working on. So things where I have been working through my fear has been when I was working hard to get my first degree black belt in Taekwondo. There were many times where I was afraid And I managed to get there step by step, and it's all about not expecting perfection at the time. But I'll come back to a few tips that I realized that I have used in the past and I'm using right now, and maybe you can use as well. Another area of my life where I worked on, where I realized that I was doing something crazy that at a point was very fearful for me, was when I moved from one continent to the other. I moved from Denmark to America, and there was a time in my life where I would not have done it, but at the time when we did it, I was ready. I managed my fear at that time. And then I thought about, well, I also wrote a book. There was a time where I was even afraid of sending out newsletters to the people who are on my list because I'm thinking, what if they don't like what I am writing? What if they judge me? What if they will criticize it? But I come to a point where I'm like, I know what I'm sharing is coming from my heart. And I'll come back to that in a moment. And people who don't like it, they don't have to read it, honestly. And quite frankly, I also know I have studied what I'm sharing enough to know that I do have some expertise to talk about what I'm talking about. So, but not everybody has to agree, and I think that's, yeah, that's That helps me a lot. So, 3 things that I have found helps me is the first one is think about the why we want to do something. And actually, my coach asked or made me aware of something that was just, I mean, brilliant, and I couldn't see it for myself. That's why it's important to have a coach. Because a coach can see behind you, you know, when, when a coach asks questions and, and I'm not in the brain of the person. Yeah, so let me get into what— so she made me aware that all the things I talked about that stopped me from doing this video was about me, and it's not about me, it's about all the moms I want to serve, all the moms I want to assist and help so they can feel empowered to start make their own money and feel great about how they manage the rest of their life and how that will affect their kids, how it will affect their families, maybe their friendships, and maybe all the other people they're able to help or serve or do good things from, from showing up the way they really would like to. And the moment we start thinking about why, the why for us doing what we want to do, we may be afraid of, we kind of do a trip, a little, a little, a little, little jump from, from being up in our brain down to our heart. That's what I experienced today when my coach reminded me of this. This is not about you, Charlotte, it's about all the people who you're going to serve. And I could just feel how my energy dropped from here to here. So that's one tip. Another tip, and this was something that I was reminded about, I enjoy, as much I enjoy coaching the people I work with, I also enjoy learning and being inspired by other coaches. And I have one in Denmark that I've been friends with for many, many years, and I follow her now on her journey. And she talked about the other day that if we look at our fear as our best friend and guidance for— that's the direction we have to follow. Because by following our fear instead of avoiding it or running away from it or around it in circles or run away from it, if we follow it, that will open new doors for growth and new opportunities. And we can talk more about that another day, about how we can and build trust inside and faith and all that, but that's important too. But just think about for now that if we use our fear as a guidance for, oh my gosh, yes, I'm afraid of this, but that's exactly why I should do it. I did that before I started the play button to record this video. See if you can use that. The third thing I wanted to share with I want to share with you are some questions that I often ask myself and others. And those questions could be: What's the worst thing that can happen? Really, what's the worst thing that can happen? Will I die from this? No, not really. Will my kids or any other loved ones be hurt or harmed from me doing this? No. Not at all. And also, what— how would I feel if— let's pretend from a year from now I still have not done anything about this. How would I feel about that? Well, I can only answer for myself right now that not good, because I've known for quite a while that it is time for me to do this. So those were 3 tips, ideas that I could come up with before shooting this video here. And, um, yeah, I, if I would love to hear if you take away anything from listening, watching to this. What may be your fear? What could you use from this video? I would love to hear that. And, and Yeah, and maybe I will see you in the next video, or maybe Facebook Live one day. Have a wonderful day. Bye!