In this keynote‑style talk, Charlotte Freeborg reflects on the cultural, personal, and psychological forces that shape women’s lives and how they can rewrite the narratives they inherit. She contrasts Denmark’s high‑happiness rankings, the egalitarian yet modest "law of Jante" and the cozy concept of "hygge" with the United States’ fast‑paced, individualistic culture, using these differences to illustrate how societal expectations influence self‑worth. Drawing on a deeply personal story of a traumatic birth, orphanage placement, silence, self‑harm, and eventual forgiveness of her mother, she demonstrates the power of confronting and releasing past wounds. She then introduces a metaphor of an oak tree growing from an acorn to explain how dreams need protection, patience, and nurturing. Quoting Viktor Frankl, she emphasizes the freedom to choose one’s attitude, and ends with two reflective questions inviting the audience to decide who they want to be and what story they will write. Throughout, she weaves gratitude, resilience, and the importance of community support into a call for women to claim their voice and pursue their dreams.
Chapters
I am delighted to introduce our next speaker. She is a dear friend and colleague, and she's going to talk about rewriting the story we were born into. Please virtually celebrate Charlotte Freeborg as she steps forward. Thank you so much, Megan Yeo, our rock star queen. It's so nice to see so many here today. I wish I could see you all at once. As I was preparing for this presentation, I experienced a dream come true. We know the theme of today is what makes a dream come true for women. And I realized that a voice that I had been way too familiar with for many years was not there. Megan Jo talked to that voice. That voice used to say, "Who am I to speak here today?" Instead, I heard that more quiet but very friendly voice tell me, Who are you not to speak here today? I want to share with you also that had it just been a few years ago, I would not even have shared this with you. Why? Because I would have thought it would be too much. I would have taken too much space. However, I choose to believe that when I share this, I might speak to one woman who right now doubts her worth in the world. Some of you may right now think about the famous quote written by our keynote speaker here today, Marianne Williamson, "Our deepest fear." That quote I had framed and I hung it in my hallway to see it 7 years straight. And why I really would like to be able to see you all today right now is because when I was preparing this, I thought a lot about who will be here today. Who are you? What's your story? And what's your dream? Am I speaking to a Danish woman? Or am I speaking to an American woman? Two very different countries, two very different political systems and social cultures. Just to talk a little bit into this, what I can share is that in the World Happiness Report, Denmark has been among the top countries since that report first came out in 2012, 3 years as number 1, where United States, to compare, is this year number 19. And this is out of about 150 countries. United States, the most impactful nation, many will say. I will say there's a lot of potential waste, wasted. Let's do something about that. Let's go back to Denmark. What many may not know is that there is this unwritten law that we call "Jante-lon," translated to "the law of jante." In many ways, it expresses: don't think you are more than anyone else. And it's ingrained in many. It was in me for many years. We do, however, see more women in leadership roles. As a matter of fact, the current Prime Minister is a female, 43 years old, and she's the second Prime Minister. Only a small amount of the population really struggle below what we can call accepted living conditions. And on the other hand, we don't see as many very wealthy people. But what we see there is that there's a deep sense and skill of social connection. We often create these moments where we just pause and bring in an atmosphere. We call it "Hygge." The best word I can really use for this is "cozy." In America, we can play big. There's room, high ceilings. We can do new things, try new things. Things move fast. Yet too many struggle below what living conditions that can be approved. However, we see more powerful and intelligent women stepping up to shake up the political system here. One of them is with us today, and she, I know, has paved the path for many to come. I want to say today that I am so grateful, privileged, and honored to be able to speak here and have learned as a citizen of both countries. I choose today to bring in those two identities and speak as a world citizen. We can learn a lot from each other, but we must stop and listen more than we speak. One of my first life-changing moments in America was our first Thanksgiving. I remember I was in the classroom of my youngest child, and the teachers and the kids had decorated the room and the table. Parents brought in food. And the kids were sitting around the table, and one by one they shared what they were grateful for. That was the first moment in my life where I witnessed that, expressing gratitude. I felt it in my heart. I felt the transformation in feeling gratitude. Until that moment, I had taken most of my things in life for granted. My story started in a small and remote town. I was an accident when my mom was 18. It was a traumatic birth for my mom. I almost died. It was at the time when we had no highways, and when I was transported to the hospital in Copenhagen, They announced on the one and only national radio station to watch out for an ambulance with a newborn baby. I fought for my life and came home after a couple of weeks in the hands of nurses and doctors. I lived with my grandparents who held me in their strong and loving hands while my mother moved to another town to pursue her education and career. When my grandmother became sick and had to go to the hospital, I was sent to an orphanage. I was told later that, that time, I totally isolated myself. My grandmother came home and I came back. And I remember many times when we walked home from my preschool and I would ask her, "Why do I not have a father like all the other kids?" My grandmother was a wise woman. She said, "You will one day." And I do remember that day in our living room when I was taken home to my mom and the new man that she found, and she told me, "You now have a father." And with him, I was gifted an even bigger family. I thought about it when Monica spoke earlier. On the outside, my life might have looked pretty nice, in a house and with structure, but inside, I built those walls. I carried wounds in silence. I was told not to ask too many questions, to be nice and quiet. We heard Coltrane talk about that. I learned to read other people and to do what would please them. I stopped singing, and I stopped believing in my voice. The fighter in me kept moving on, and I was successful on the outside, but inside I did not know myself. I felt insecure, lost, and I remember one night when I laid in my bed with a knife in my hand and I was ready to cut myself, but the voice came in and told me, "Call your aunt." I chose to rewrite my story. I was very mad at my mother for many years. I blamed her, and I was becoming that victim. But I learned to forgive her, and today I see her as a courageous woman, and I am amazed of what she went through at such a young age. I released my childhood story and made peace with it. And I want to say to that, that before that, it felt like I had carried around with a heavy backpack with anger, blame, and resentment. But when I dropped it, it was like being free again. That's the power of forgiveness. Success, dreams, and results take time. And often in our busy lives, we give up, or we settle, or we compromise, or we use excuses for not following through on our commitments. And worst, other people will approve us to play small. In reality, what I learned is that Most of our dreams are just around the corner, but we get blinded and afraid of that light. We must learn to protect our dreams. Consider an oak tree, how many years it takes for it to grow big and stand strong in a storm. First it was just a little acorn. If we care about it, we will put a fence around it when it's just a little sprout so we don't stomp on it. We will not rush it. We will not judge it for how fast or slow it grows. We and our dreams are like that acorn, and it's our job to to start to pay attention to our pace, our rhythm, and our heartbeat. And pay less attention to what others think, what others' expectations are, because we do not know what story they were born into, and we do not know how they rewrote their story now. We can learn gratitude, we can forgive, and we can accept who we are, and we can find people in our life who would be a part of that strong fence in our garden. There's one thing that I find more essential, and that is how we show up each day, because that defines how we fall asleep at night. Before I end, I want to share a quote written by Viktor Frankl. He survived years of the most incomprehensible suffering while imprisoned in the Nazi concentration camps. He wrote, "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms, to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. Now I'd like to ask you two questions. Who do you want to be today? What is the story you would like to write? These are my experiences on how we rewrite our story and what it takes for a woman to make her dreams come true. I cannot wait to hear your new story. Thank you.
