Discipline Matters.

Hello and welcome to episode 2. I'm so glad to have you here and I appreciate you so much for tuning into episode 1 where I essentially shared my entire life journey. So thank you for being here and I am so excited to just continue talking about topics that matter. Uh, you know, as a woman in business, as a woman myself, uh, as someone who's had a career that is non-traditional and completely non-linear, as someone who's built myself from the ground up and all the lessons I've learned along the way. Um, so look, I think there's so much to be said around doing things yourself, um, but I also wanted to talk around how important it is to have people around you. You know, I've always, um, thought of myself, and I, and I am a very hyper-independent person. You know, I, I'm an eldest daughter. I think that's what we're meant to be anyway, but I'm always someone that would just happily do things myself. I don't need any help. Um, and I find it very difficult to ask for help. And why I want to talk about this right now is, you know, uh, considering the difficult personal, uh, journey I've been going through in my, um, you know, private life over the last year, I just value my friendships so much. And I know I should also always value my friendships, but I think we can all be honest with ourselves and say sometimes we, you know, let them go to the wayside, or we don't put as much effort in, or we take them for granted. And I think the people that are always there for you and you're in your corner are the ones that you need to prioritize and, and put first, aside from people that come and go. So, you know, I, I'm trying to make a more concentrated effort to, to stay in touch and to reach out to and to engage with those people that are always there for me. So, um, that's something that I just wanted to touch on briefly before we dive in, uh, to a completely different topic. Um, what I wanted to talk about today— actually, before I go into that, quick update on me. Um, let's talk about the last week since, um, since we last spoke. So I have done this full business audit. My business wasn't doing very well over the last few months and it just wasn't, yeah, it wasn't making the revenue that I had previously. I was feeling really stuck. I didn't really know how to move. I was trying all these different things and nothing was working and it was a real struggle. But of course, I'm never someone who's going to throw in the towel and this is my absolute vision. So, you know, I'm not going to give up, but I need to look at, okay, well, what isn't working? What is working? What do I need to change? So you bet that I went all in on understanding what I needed to change in my business and where I needed to get help. Um, so I have invested in a new coach and I am really diving into all things content and reconnecting with my audience. Um, I think I built these big platforms. Um, I have over 70,000 people that follow me on socials. And I think we forget when you have such a big online presence, how important your audience is. So I've really been making a big effort to reconnect with everyone and re-engage people. I don't want to get more followers. Well, look, I'm lying if I said that actually, but would love to have as many followers, but I need to take care of the followers that are there right now. So I'm making a lot of effort with that. I'm challenging myself to do a live on Instagram and TikTok every single day. But over the last week, just by doing that for this month, I've seen so much more engagement. Uh, so many more people are inquiring about my one-on-one coaching. I'm getting— I had a PR opportunity, I've had a podcast opportunity. So it is true what they say is when you identify a problem or you identify something that needs to change and you start not only just manifesting change but you manifest and you do the action towards it as well, you will start to see positive change. Uh, you will see the result of your efforts. So You know, I think, uh, we can't keep our head in the sand and go, okay, well, this isn't working. I'm just going to pretend it, pretend it's fine because it's not fine. You need to confront it head on and go, okay, well, what am I going to do differently? And, and then you need to go all in on that. Um, and it's not easy and you do have to show up every day. You do have to put in the work, but once you do that consistently, then you will start to see the results. So that's where I'm at right now, essentially a bit of a rebuild phase. And it's really exciting because Yeah, I'm committed. I, I know what I want and I'm making it happen. So we're here for it. So that kind of ties into the topic that I wanted to touch on today, which is discipline. Love discipline. I love this topic, um, and I am a self-confessed disciplined person. Like, I have always had a strong amount of discipline. People will always tell me that I do. I've just been like I don't know, I'm labeled as someone with a lot of discipline. So I've also been labeled as someone that I'm either all in or I'm all out. So if I commit to something, then I will keep going until I get to where I want to be. But if I, you know, go off course or go off track and I'm not as committed, then I will throw it, like I just won't do it. So I've always been trying to find like more of a balance. That never worked for me either. So what I figured it was is doing things that actually speak to me and what I want to do, where I want to be, who I want to be, and really getting clear on my why. So that's why things like my business, even though I'm almost 3 years in and I've had extremely high moments and huge money months and all those kind of things and have built this massive following, but I've also had low months where I've had like low, my lowest financial month and I've lost people on my socials and I've had negative feedback, all those kind of things. I've had both, but because I'm so strong on what my why is and where I want to go, there's just like, I'm just extremely committed to making this happen. So I am all in and anything that I commit to now, I am always all in because I know exactly who I am and what I want to achieve in life. And I think when I identify a new challenge or something I might want to do, it always has to resonate with that overarching, uh, theme of where I want my life to go. I'm trying not to say goals because goals I think is just really overused. So it's like, okay, well, what do you want? What's your vision for your life? Or what's your theme for your life? Or how do you want to feel and how are you going to get there? I think that's, you know, more of a tangible thing. Um, if you think about how you want to feel, how, how your life wants to look, then that's something you can really work towards. Okay. So What does discipline look like? Discipline looks like showing up even when it's hard. Discipline looks like doing the work when no one's watching. Discipline looks like not seeking validation for the work you're doing or not expecting people to cheer you on the whole time. Because to be completely honest, people care about themselves too much to care about every little thing that you're doing. If you start a new challenge, if you set yourself a new task and you expect people to congratulate you the entire time, then you're not going to get very far. People are going to say, that's amazing, that's amazing that you're doing that big thing, but that's about as far as it's going to get. You can't expect to just keep getting validation from people if you set yourself on a task. You need to be, you need to have that, I guess, that validation within yourself as to why you are doing it, and you need to have the discipline to keep showing up for yourself to make it happen. So that's part of what discipline looks like. I think as well what's important to note is motivation and discipline are very different things. Motivation is what you have at the start. So you'll say, okay, I want to lose weight, or I want to exercise more, I want to learn this new skill, and you'll be super motivated at the start. You'll be all gung-ho and you'll be like, yeah, I'm doing this thing, it's amazing, I'm telling everyone, yeah, yeah, I'm doing it. A few days in, the alarm goes off to get up and you're like, oh, I just don't feel like it today. I'm just going to lie in bed. I'll just start tomorrow. Another day goes past and you get busy, something comes up, and then all of a sudden that motivation is fleeting. People have stopped congratulating you, and then all of a sudden it's not really that fun anymore. And then you fall off, you fall off the wagon. That's when discipline needs to come in because motivation is fleeting. Motivation will not get you to the end goal. Motivation will not get you to that feeling or that theme or that vision of where you want to be. Discipline kicks in, and that is what keeps you going. So when you start your next challenge, or I don't know, when you set yourself a new task, take note of when the motivation drops and check yourself and go, okay, my motivation has dropped. I feel that right now. I'm not going to go and seek further validation from someone. I'm not going to try and get a feeling externally to make me keep going. I'm going to find the discipline within myself to go, no, this is why I want to do this, and this is why I want to make this happen. This is what I want to feel. And then you get up and you do it, and you show yourself that you can do it. Because the thing is, with discipline, once you show yourself and give yourself evidence that you can show up even when you don't feel like it, you are giving yourself evidence that you can do it. The most important time that you need to have discipline is when you don't feel like doing it, or when it feels like the hardest thing to do, uh, is when discipline needs to come in. Or I know for me, like, I always say I'm like, oh, I'm not going to have sweets at night, or whatever, something really minimal like that. And then it'll get to after dinner, I'll be really tired, I'll just be on the couch, and I'm like, oh, I'll just have a little, little choccy. Um, and my mind is weak. Like, your mind is weak at that moment and you have to clock it and you're like, no, I'm not going to give in. I'm going to show myself that I can do it. And so it's difficult. It's not easy. It's not fun, but give yourself the evidence that you have the discipline and you will keep it and you will have that discipline more and more and more. Okay. So discipline is also what, you know, I spoke of this discipline being what happens when it's in the dark and no one can see what you're doing. Um, because that's true, you know, if you're like for me building a business, the work that is not what everyone celebrates, it's the boring stuff. It's the things you don't really want to do, but it's the necessary stuff. It's all the background work that goes into what you post online. All of that work is where discipline comes in and shows up where you need it to, but there's no one in that room congratulating you or encouraging you to keep going. You have to find that within yourself. Um, I'll talk a little bit around now my experience with discipline, because as I said, I've always been someone that has been very, very disciplined, um, when I set my mind to something. So let's go back to when I was a bodybuilder. I know, right? Um, so I had this thing in my head that I was going to get up on— like, I, I was always a gym girl, but I just got approached one— I think I saw something online, I was like, oh, that looks fun, and I was like, oh, I'll just give this a go. And so I jumped in and it was you know, to prep for a bodybuilding comp. And I kid you not, for 6 months I followed the most rigid regime of training and nutrition. I was eating 6 small meals a day. It was like steak and sweet potato breakfast. It was this weird lamb thing in the mid-morning. Then it was like chicken breast and broccoli. Then it was fish and leafy greens. And then it was fish and leafy greens again. And then there was only brown rice outside of training sessions. So I became so disciplined to that, that whole routine. Um, lost a huge amount of weight, did all these things, training every single like 5 or 6 days a week, just going absolutely nuts with it. I even got to the point, like, I remember being on a walk with my mum and sister, we were doing like the Bondi, Bondi Loop or whatever, and, um, I had to like stop and get a Tupperware container and eat my food because I'm like, I have to have my meal. I'm like, how did I not get salmonella? Like, seriously, it was insane. So what, what that is for me, I would say that's probably borderline obsessive, and I almost developed like some body dysmorphia there. So that's discipline on a whole other level. And that's when I kind of realized I needed to have more of a balance. So I stopped doing the whole bodybuilding thing when I realized it was actually hurting me, and I moved, um, to powerlifting. Got into powerlifting, and around the time that I started to compete— yes, I was a competitive powerlifter, I have medals, I did about 4 competitions, and yeah, I lifted some really heavy weight. I think my squat was like 155 kilos, my deadlift was 70, and then my bench was 75 or 80. I forget, around those figures. Um, but yeah, really heavy weight. I was really strong. Uh, but anyway, so when I started powerlifting, I also decided that I was going to do my MBA because I was consistently trying to prove myself and prove my worth through my 20s. In my 20s, my— like, you know, side note— my career was like, I didn't feel lost, I just hadn't found my calling yet. I was like, I don't know what I really want to do. I know what I— I know I want to have an impact, I just don't know what it is. And you know, so I was like, I'll just get my MBA and that'll help me make my decision. So decided to do my MBA with online study while I was always also working full-time. So I was competing as, competing as a powerlifter. I was studying my MBA and I was working full-time. So what that translated to is that I was getting up at 4:15 in the morning. I would get to the gym at 5:00 AM. I would train until 7 AM. I'll go back home and then I'll get ready for a full workday. I would put in a full workday and then I would come home and then I would study for 2 to 3 hours for my MBA. I did that for 2 years. 2 years I had stuck to that schedule and I look at that and I'm like, I must be like slightly insane to be able to have done that. Which is true. Like, I am a little bit nuts, let's be real. But also, I just had this insane discipline. I was like, nope, I'm committing to this, I'm doing this, I'm making this a thing, I'm making it happen, and I am showing up every day. And I will tell you 1,000%, there were a bajillion times that I did not want to get up in the morning. There were so many times that I did not want to study. There was so many times that I could have just slacked off. And yeah, I'll tell you, like, there were moments where I didn't show up as well as I probably should have, and I felt the consequences of that. You know, I think, um, when you don't— when you do lack the follow-through or the discipline, or you do do like a half effort, you know, you know that you're not putting in your, your full self. You absolutely know it, and then you feel worse for it afterwards. So yeah, discipline is something that has just always been a part of me, and I think It also helps that there's always been this innate thing in me that I need to prove my worth. I'm definitely moving beyond that now, and I am more like, well, this is who I am, this is what I can bring, this is my value. But yeah, I spent a lot of my life trying to prove myself and show that I was worthy to everyone. So that also helps that discipline because it was just like no other option. I was always like, no, there's no other option. I have to do it. I have to make it. Yeah, crazy. So then that discipline obviously now is in my business. So when I was made redundant and I decided to go all in on building a business, I thought, this is it. This is this thing that I've been wanting to do for so long. This is the impact I want to have. I want to speak to the world. I want to talk to people about careers and job search and help people on their journey. This is it. And so yeah, I spoke about it in the first episode. That's when I went all in and I took on 4 hospitality jobs and I would work on Chloe Careers that was then Chloe Spillane Consulting or something back then. And then I would work hospitality shifts at night. And I look, I think the motivation was there because I had to pay my bills and I was a single woman living in Sydney supporting myself. So I had to pay my bills, but also I just knew that this business was my calling and there was no other option. This is it. This is it for me. And it just became that absolute. And with that absolute feeling, the discipline just never falters for me. You know, I guess, look, I won't say it never falters. There's always going to be days where you don't feel like doing things, but I will say that when I don't feel like showing up, when I let myself try to negotiate myself out of doing something, this is where my discipline comes in. And it's like, no, Chloe, why are you here? Why are you doing this? What do you want to feel? Where do you want to be? You know, slacking off now or throwing in the towel is not going to get you to that point. And yeah, I'm not saying that you should ignore how your, how your body's feeling, and if you're feeling really overworked and burnt out, that just keep going. No, that's not what I'm saying at all. I think I really want to make that clear that this is not me telling you that go burn yourself out. You need to have a really good, I guess, like focus on your own health and well-being as well as that. For me, like I won't start my workday until 8:30, 9 o'clock. And I'll, like most days, I'll be finishing work around 5 or 6. I give myself a break. I also don't look at my phone an hour before bed, and I don't look at it again until an hour after I wake up. I have some really good boundaries around my work and how I'm showing up every day. I don't work on weekends. I've learned how to do all this. I definitely was working way too much when I first started and had to kind of figure out how I give myself a more balanced approach. I know I've said the word balance a lot, but it is important when you are kind of thinking about where you want to incorporate more discipline in your life, um, you know, you do have to make sure that you are still putting yourself first and looking after your well-being. So I do want to make that clear. Um, so what happens when you don't have discipline? Pretty simple. Um, if you choose not to be disciplined— because anyone can be disciplined, it's a behavior, it's not something like— yes, some people are built with more of it, like I think I'm naturally built with more discipline, but it's a behavior. Anyone can have it. Uh, so if you say like, I'm just not a disciplined person, then that's you making a choice. You're choosing not to be disciplined. Um, so when you show yourself time and time again that you're not a disciplined person, you're never going to have that because you're never giving yourself proof that you can do it. So every time you set yourself a new task or a new challenge and you never follow through with it, that is what you're telling yourself you are. So if you want to change that, actually follow through with something. Commit to it, show up for yourself every day on it, and get yourself to that end point. Give yourself one piece of evidence that you are a disciplined person, and with that one piece of evidence, you will give yourself proof that you can do something else as well. So I want to give you a task. I know, homework from a podcast, what? Um, I want to challenge yourself to something you have been meaning to do for a long time now. It's been something you tell yourself you're always going to do it, and then you never do, you never follow through. I want you to think about what that one thing is, and I want you to commit to being disciplined around it for the next 7 days. So you're listening to this podcast, and for 7 days after this, every single day for 7 days, you are going to be disciplined around working towards that challenge or that task or whatever that is that you, um, you want to change. And depending on what that is, doesn't matter whether you do a little bit around it or a big bit around it, you just have to show up for that every day. Um, whether it's, you know, you want to start exercising again, you're going to exercise every day for 7 days. And I don't care if people like, you shouldn't exercise every day, you don't have to do hardcore exercise every day, like go for a walk on your 7th day, but move your body every day to show yourself that you can be disciplined. If you don't want to drink alcohol, don't drink alcohol for 7 days. If you don't want to, or if you want to do a certain, um, learn a new skill, I don't know if you want to knit or whatever it is, like start knitting, do it every day for 7 days. Give yourself that evidence that when you want to commit to something, you can actually show up for yourself even when the motivation starts to, starts to wane. Okay, well, that is discipline. Hope we have some good learnings from this. I hope, uh, you know, if you resonated with some of my story around discipline, um, I'm right there with you. Discipline girls, where it's at. Um, but yeah, look, I think, as I said, anyone can be disciplined. You just need to give yourself proof that you can actually do it. Stop telling yourself that you're not a disciplined person. The more you tell yourself you're not disciplined, the more that will be true. The more you show up, the more you actually, uh, build or work on that discipline muscle, the more of a disciplined person you will be. It's that simple. Amazing. See you guys next week.