Christine WongFounder, Zenshin Collective Pte Ltd · Trauma Informed Coach for Couple relationships, Careers and Business

Relationship Blindsport: Belittling your Spouse

5 Jan 2023 · 1 min

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1:13

The excerpt is a short, diarized dialogue from Christine Wong’s YouTube video “Relationship Blindsport: Belittling your Spouse.” Speaker A repeatedly demands that Speaker B wash dishes and perform other household tasks, accusing B of always postponing (“later, later”) and using belittling language that references B’s father and predicts a useless future. Speaker B responds with casual deferrals, using the colloquial particle “lah.” The exchange showcases a pattern of emotional abuse through constant criticism, demeaning comparisons, and the use of cultural linguistic markers to intensify the conflict. The content illustrates how belittling remarks can erode respect and intimacy in a partnership.

Dear, can you please wash the dishes now?
Later lah, later lah. Busy, busy.
I said now.
Later.
Every time I ask you also later. Wash the clothes also later. Change diapers also later. Feed the milk bottle also later. Even honeymoon you also tell me later. Until now still haven't go for the honeymoon. Why did I marry you for?
Yeah, don't keep on nagging lah. Later, later, I'll do it, huh?
Agul, come here. Come and wash the dishes. Mommy, can later please? Later? Later? You just say later like your father. Everything also later. Next time you grow up later, your future also useless like him. Later like your father. Useless like your father.