When one spouse shares serious problems like their child being bullied or workplace harassment, the other dismisses them with "boys will be boys" and "just politics." A shows how this pattern of invalidation leaves the person feeling unheard and alone, even in marriage.
Chapters
Hey, Ah Meng, you know, recently I just got a call from the school. They tell us that our son is being bullied. Somebody actually purposely put their foot out, right, and our son tripped and fell. And it's not the first time already.
Yeah, boys will be boys, they always play with each other like that one.
But this is quite serious and it's not the first time. And you see our boy, the bruises on his legs is quite serious.
Huh? Aiya, boy small, always get hurt one what. This one is actually very small, nothing to worry about.
Why you always brush it aside? You don't understand our son, man. He's not, he's not happy. And you know, right, it's not the first time, you know, when I share with you about my workplace where the bosses and my colleagues keep making fun of me. They keep, you know, like saying insults to my face directly, humiliating me during presentation. You don't even care.
Come on, come on. Hey, you're working adult already.
This is workplace bully, eh?
What workplace bully? It's just a little bit of politics only, wah. You said you want to go and work, I let you go and work, then now you want to complain about it? Huh?
You don't care about me, right?
Who don't care about you?
You don't care about my feelings, right? You never ask about how I feel, you know?
You're an adult already, wah. Why you still need to handle your feelings for what? You should be more objective, focus on your work. You want promotion, right? You want to get more money, right? Then you should focus! What? Hey, you better don't cry, ah. Hey, our boy is here. Boys are not supposed to cry. You're setting a very bad example for him, you know. Cry, cry, cry.
