3 Things That Will Change Your Relationship With Women

All right, guys, welcome back to the Mantalk Show. Connor Beaton here and today I'm going to be sharing with you the three things that you should look out for to find the ideal woman. Now, this is actually not about her, it is about you. I am going to share one tip about what you can look for in a woman, but the three things about finding an ideal woman is more about you and what you can do to attract that person. Now, before we dive in, if you are one of the 76.4% of individuals watching this that are not subscribed, hit the subscribe button below if you enjoy this content. If you don't, I get it. Carry on. Enjoy your life. Okay, let's dive straight in. One of the things that can help you to more quickly, more efficiently find the right partner, find the right woman to do life with is, number one, stop worshiping sex. I know this is sort of counterintuitive, but a man who is sexually disciplined has a lot more leadership and influence in a relationship. And I say this as somebody who had very little sexual discipline in early on in life and who worshiped the living crap out of sex. Like the sex was just on a pedestal, right? The P was on a pedestal. And you know what the P is for? The P is on a pet was on a pedestal for a very long time. And when that is the case for you as a man, when you were worshiping sex like that, and there's very little sexual discipline and I just want to make something super clear. I am not saying that you should have boring sex or that sex isn't important in a relationship. It is absolutely important and you should have great, wild, nasty ass sex if that's whatever you want your sex life to look like. I'm not saying that that should not be there. That should absolutely be there. You should have fun. You should enjoy sex in your relationship. However, if you are worshiping sex, what happens for you as a man is that it will skew your decision making process, number one. Number two, it can give that person that you're dating and give a woman means in which to manipulate you because you as a man are so much more easily manipulatable and coercable if you are chasing sex, if that is the thing that you are after in a fundamental way that makes you susceptible to a whole bunch of, I was going to say fuckery, but we'll just leave that there. Fuckery. And number three is that it can turn if you get into a relationship and what you're really worshiping is sex. It can turn sex into a bargaining tool in the relationship and create all types of power struggles. And then lastly, if you are in a relationship with a woman, it can have her feel very objectified, like she is just there for you. To man, I was gonna be really crude with that.

But I'll just. I'll leave what I was gonna say for you to put into the comments. Oh boy, that's probably a bad idea. All right. If you are just worshiping sex, what can happen is that for a woman on the other side of that, it can feel like this intense pressure. Like all you're looking for from me is just sex and I'm just an object for you to have sex with. And that's that. That can feel for a woman like that's the point of. And that can build animosity and resentment. Not. Not to mention the fact that when you are worshiping sex as a man in a relationship, it shows a lack of sexual impulse control. And that will impact the way that a woman looks at you because it'll color and shape her view of you as a man. And for her, it will feel like, man, there's an intense amount of pressure that is constantly being put on me. And it seem like this is the only or the main thing that you want. And so when you start to develop a good amount of sexual discipline and you, you sort of de center sex in the relationship again, it's not that it's not important. It's not that having great sex and having good sexual chemistry in the relationship isn't important. It absolutely is. But when you take it off of the pedestal of like, this is the only thing that I'm really chasing or pursuing in a relationship, which I think most men go through, you know, when you're a young. I think for a lot of guys that go through this phase where sex is like the thing that they're pursuing, whether they're just trying to get good at it, whether it's about chase, whether it's a confidence boosting thing, whatever that might be. For a lot of men, it could also be a manifestation of your insecurities and your perceived inferiorities and your worries about lacking self esteem or value, et cetera. For a lot of men, that's what they will chase and it'll create all types of issues. And so when you start to develop some sexual discipline, when it's not the be all, end all in a relationship, it actually helps you to find the right person to date. Because you are not sex drunk. You don't have the sex goggles on of like, is this the most amazing, raunchiest, nastiest sex that I've ever had in my life? And if not, maybe that's not the right person. And if that's the lens that you have, you are likely not going to attract the person that is going to align with your values and your ethics and your morals and the type of person that you respect and respects you back and that you ultimately want to be with. So that's number one, develop some sexual discipline and take sex off of the pedestal. Stop worshiping sex in such a strong way. Number two is develop the self esteem and the willingness to walk away. Now that can be to walk away from an argument that has gotten out of hand. But more specifically it is about being willing to walk away from the relationship. Now that's at the very extreme end of the spectrum. But what I'm really talking about here is in some ways this, what I'm saying is so important because what women really crave deep down is to and this, that probably is gonna get me some flack. But what a lot of women want to know when they are in relationship with a man is I don't want to be able to manipulate this man on a consistent basis. I do not want to be able to manipulate him. Women lose respect for us as men when they can manipulate us. And so a lot of women will get into a relationship with a man and they'll test those types of things not even consciously. It's not like they're trying to manipulate you. That's some narrative out there by a bunch of guys who have been hurt by women and haven't recovered from it. Women will sometimes unconsciously test this to see, can I manipulate you? Can I change your decision? Can I get you to shift what you want or get off of your values or get you to change your mind? And that can cause a lot of issues. But if you as a man are willing to say, no, absolutely not, I'm not willing to do that, that doesn't interest me, or this behavior isn't okay in the relationship, I'm not all right with that. If you're not willing to do those things, especially early on in dating, being willing to say, like, look, this is a big deal, this is a deal breaker for me. And if this doesn't, if this doesn't shift or change or if that's really what you want, then this isn't right for me. I remember when my wife and I first started dating, there was a couple instances where something happened and we had a conversation. I said, listen, I love you, I really enjoy being with you, but this type of behavior does not fly with me. And if that isn't workable, if you're not willing to shift this behavior, then this is not the relationship for me. And it's not because there's something wrong with you. It just is like, I don't, maybe that means that our values aren't workable. And for her it was like this big moment where, and she's talked about this a number of times where she was like, oh, I realized that I, I couldn't manipulate you. I realized that you weren't going to let me just sort of like not walk all over you, but you weren't going to let step out of line and behave in ways that neither of us respected, neither of us wanted. So you have to be willing to have the self esteem to say no, to stand up for the things that you want and do not want. And another quick example is like I have this running joke that my wife will forever try and get me to watch the Bachelor or the Bachelorette. She's just been doing it for our entire relationship and she's relentless about it and I am just not interested and I don't want to watch it with her. And it's just a hard no. And she still tries, but I'm like, no, I'm not interested. And so there's a boundary. There is me setting a precedence of no, I'm not interested in that. And there's a willingness for me to disappoint her in order to stay true to myself. And this is at the crux of what I'm talking about. Do you have the self esteem to disappoint the person that you are dating or with in order to stay true to yourself? And a really great, healthy, functional relationship that's at the essence and the core of it. And it's really about two people navigating through that experience. Right? So that's number two. Number three, this is a tough one. But being at the right place in your life, being at the right place in your life is such a valuable piece of the equation. I like this notion and I'm not really exactly too sure where I heard it from, but it's not mine. This notion that men don't find the right woman, men get into the right period of their life and then they find the woman. And I found that to be true for a lot of guys. And so I think for you as a man, you have to be very conscious about what period and what phase you're at in your life. Because for a lot of and this is what a lot of women ask me is like, when is a man willing to commit? When will a man commit? And what I usually say is when he feels like he's made it into a place in his life where he's secure and stable enough and he's built something of substance. That's usually when the door opens for a deeper level of commitment within a relationship. Until then, if a man is in his building phase or his adventure phase or his pursuit phase or whatever it is, right. He's just, he's out there like creating things in the world, he's not likely to settle down. He might, right? There's exceptions to all rules, of course, but it's more likely that he will commit and want marriage, want kids when he finds himself in a place in his life where he has built, achieved, accomplished or done something, where he has established himself as a man. And this is probably what you have been looking for and or if you are married, it's probably where you were in life. More likely than not, it's probably where you were in life when you found the woman that you are with, if you are married to a woman. So those are the three things that can really support you in shifting, changing some of the challenges and problems that you're facing in your relationship and allowing you to find the right partner at the right time. Leave your comments below. Let me know what you thought of this video. What would you add in? What did you agree with, disagree with? What did I miss? Commenting on? And as always, until next week, Connor Beaton signing off.