Connor Beaton presents a short YouTube monologue answering questions from women about how they may unintentionally emasculate men in relationships. He identifies three primary behaviors: withholding sex (used as a bargaining or punitive tool), withholding fun/joy (loss of feminine playfulness and increased control), and withholding affection/approval or emotionally invalidating men; he frames appreciation as the "currency of intimacy."
Foreign.
Guys, welcome back to the Man Talk Show. Connor Beaton here today we're gonna be talking about the main ways that women emasculate the men that they date, the men that they're with, the men that they marry. And oddly enough, today's episode is brought to you by the questions of women. I'm actually not doing this episode because guys have asked for it. I'm doing this episode because they're. There have been a number of women over the last few months that have actually reached out and said, hey, my ex boyfriend, my ex husband, my current boyfriend, my current husband. They tell me that I do things to emasculate them. Can you tell me what I'm doing, or can you tell me some of the ways in which men actually feel emasculated? And so kudos to you ladies for reaching out. Let's dive in. Number one biggest thing that I see is withholding sex. And I'm gonna explain this. I'm not saying that you should have sex even when you don't want. Uh, I'm talking about when something's going on in the relationship. You know, there's conflict, there's some disconnection. Uh, maybe a man isn't, you know, sort of showing up in the way that his partner wants, that you want as his girlfriend or his wife, and you start to withhold sex. So sex in a relationship is not a bargaining tool. It is not something that you should use almost ever to punish the other person. It is not something that you should use to change behavior. This brings me to the quote by Oscar Wilde, which I absolutely love. He said, everything in life is about sex except for sex. Sex is about power. And that's really what's happening when you are withholding sex in a relationship actively. You are taking control over some of the power in the relationship, over a large portion of power in the relationship. And you're saying, I'm going to take this seat of superiority because you're not doing what I want you to do, because you're not behaving how I want you to behave because you're not showing up in the way that I want you to show up. You're not doing the work that I want you to do. You're not taking care of the things that I want you to take care of. And so I'm going to withhold this very meaningful thing. So that's number one. Number two is withholding fun, withholding joy, withholding happiness. And. And so what can happen oftentimes in a relationship, again, is When a man and a woman, when they're, you know, when you're having some conflict or challenge or disconnection, you can begin as a woman to disconnect from the feminine qualities of fluidity, of flow, of joy, of playfulness, you know, of just being in the moment. And my wife does this all the time, pretty much every day, where she'll turn music on and she'll start dancing or she'll just, you know, breakout and dancing and song. And it's. And it's like silly, but it's got this beautiful feminine quality to it that's so alluring and so attractive. Generally, what happens when a woman starts to become more and more rigid. And ladies, you've probably experienced this in a relationship. The level of controlling can go up and up and up and up and up. And my good colleague and friend Dewey Freeman says that where we control, we lack trust. Where we control, we lack trust. And so this can happen in a. A number of occasions, right? Maybe the trust has been broken. Maybe there's been a betrayal, maybe there's been lies. Maybe there's just been, you know, he's dropped the ball a number of times and you feel like you have to step in and control. And I get that. I'm not, you know, I'm not saying that there aren't times where it feels like you have to sort of take control. Now lastly, these are sort of hand in hand. This last one's sort of a double whammy. It's withholding affection or approval and treating their emotions and their feelings and their vulnerabilities like they either don't exist or using them against them. So big piece on the one side is appreciation and affection. I like to say that appreciation is the currency of intimacy. And any relationship, appreciation is the currency of intimacy. So if you want intimacy to flow, to be free, to be connected, to be, you know, really strong between you and your partner, you have to give praise, validation, and affection. Those are the main pieces. I'm curious to hear your thoughts. Thank you for sticking it through. And like I said, I'll probably be doing a video on what we as men do to move women out of their feminine and to shame them for their feminine nature.
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