Connor Beaton (YouTube video) explains that personal leadership — specifically maintaining daily rituals, routines, and habits — builds trust in intimate relationships. He defines discipline as following through on what you say you will do (not as punishment) and argues that when a man’s actions match his words most of the time (roughly 90–95%), his partner feels able to relax and trust him. Practical examples include keeping savings goals, regular exercise, and morning routines.
Questions this video answers
Approximately 90–95% of the time.
Chapters
If you're dating somebody or you're married to somebody and you're not leading yourself, you're not maintaining your rituals and your routines, your habits that you've said, hey, you know what? I want to save this amount of money every month. I want to go to the gym this many times a week. Your woman is watching, right? She is watching. And what is she watching for? She is watching for, does his word match his action? And if his word matches, his action doesn't have to be a hundred percent of the time. But if it's pretty damn close, if it's like 90, 95% of the time for most women, she's going to feel like, oh, this is. I can, I can relax. He's going to do what he said. I know what to expect. He's predictable, but sometimes he throws in a little bit of unpredictability and it's funny, you know, and like, maybe it's humor or whatnot, but that's what there's, that's what there's a craving for, right? Do I know what I can kind of expect most of the time? And so for you thinking about discipline, discipline is simply the act of following through with what you said you're going to do, right? That's really what discipline is. It's not a. It's not a punishment. It's not something that you need to take out on yourself. It's, I'm going to get up at 6am tomorrow morning, I'm going to run 5k and I'm going to do a little bit of a workout and I'm going to do my, my, you know, morning pages and journal and make my coffee, et cetera. And then following through on what you said you're going to do, that type of leadership with yourself is going to build trust with your partner.
