Connor Beaton describes two distinct forms of overwhelm: external overwhelm (taking on too much, failing to set 'nos' or realistic timelines) and internal overwhelm (harsh or lazy inner dialogue that undermines well-being). He frames both as symptoms of poor boundaries and invites listeners to assess where boundaries are missing to regain ease.
So let's just talk about overwhelm. All right? Generally, there's. From what I've seen, there's two types of overwhelm.
There's external overwhelm and internal overwhelm. External overwhelm. And by the way, every single type. Both types of overwhelm. Every single type. Both types of overwhelm are a sign of poor boundaries, okay? When we are getting overwhelmed, there are boundaries that are being broken either externally or internally. So external overwhelm happens because we take on too much. We say yes to too much. We don't execute on our nos. We don't set boundaries in place with people about what we can or can't do or set realistic timelines. And we generally, if you imagine having a plate in front of you, we just say yes. And we put way too much on our plate. So to the point where we look at it and we're like, I literally can't finish this. I can't finish this today. I can't finish this this week. I don't think I can fucking finish this this month. And we look at that plate and we're like, holy crap, what am I supposed to do with this? So that is external overwhelm, okay? External overwhelm happens because we aren't practicing those nos. So just keep that in mind. Internal overwhelm can be something very different. And that internal overwhelm is because we have poor boundaries with our inner narrative and our inner dialogue. So we might be saying. We might not be setting a boundary with our inner critic, for example, and our inner critic is just running rampant. It's like, you're such a piece of shit. Why the fuck haven't you done this? I can't believe that you have an X, Y, and Z. You're stupid for blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that inner critic is running rampant and running amok, even if we're doing great, even if we're crushing our task lists, right? So that overwhelm can happen from this internal dialogue that's just destroying us internally. Maybe the internal dialogue is lazy, right? Maybe it's just like, I don't want to do shit and the world's coming to an end anyways. And so I'm just going to watch the burn while I watch Netflix, right?
So notice that internal overwhelm. So what I want you to do is look at your external and internal, and I want you to look at where you feel externally overwhelmed internally and how you feel internally overwhelmed and what boundaries are missing that would allow you to feel a greater sense of ease.
How to Raise Strong, Unshakable Boys in Today's Culture, with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
