Connor Beaton breaks down how masculine and feminine energies communicate differently: masculine communication is single-point and task-focused, while feminine is diffused and connection-oriented. He uses metaphors like a jar of pickles and the jackhammer effect to show how these styles can clash.
Welcome guys and gals to the Man Talk Show. I'm Connor Beaton and today we are going to talk about the communication differences between the masculine and the feminine. And I share with you some of the most important pieces. So whether you're a guy, whether you're a girl, doesn't matter. You are going to learn something in this space about how men and women communicate differently. This actually came out of a conversation I was having with a client the other day because he was a little upset and was communicating to me, Said, you know, I just don't understand it. It's like every single time that I sit down to focus in on something, it's like the moment that I have become so deeply ingrained and focused in on what I'm working on. That seems to be when my wife needs my attention or all of a sudden it's like she pops out of nowhere and she's like asking me all these different questions and she's trying to get me to pay attention to her and she's asking me about the kids and she and the garbage needing to be taken out the task list. And it's like, I don't understand, like, can't she see that I'm focusing? Can't she see that I'm trying to focus? And I said, well that's because first and foremost, the biggest thing that we need to know, the biggest difference in communication and awareness is that men and women have different types of awareness. And how we focus is oftentimes different. So guys that are in their masculine have something called single point five. And what single point focus means is that when we start to do something, when we are, when we are, because we're very task based, when we start to do something, most of our attention goes into that one specific thing. And we don't like having a lot of distractions. You know, we usually have our routine and our method. We have like a methodology that we'll get into with the right music and the right lighting and the, you know, the special like infrared glasses on and all that other kind of crap. We build these routines so that we can shut out the outside world and start to focus our attention solely in on what we are trying to do. Now that is different from most women that are in their feminine who have something called diffused awareness. And diffused awareness is sort of like imagine napalm as awareness. Their awareness is just everywhere. So they can be writing an email and at the same time as writing the email they can be aware that the garbage smells and the dog needs to be fed and one of the kids diapers needs to be changed and the TV is too loud and the scent from the candle is bothering her. She has this aware, like this 360 degree awareness and she can see, hear, smell, touch, something that will bring her awareness into different components. And so it's one of the biggest challenges is that oftentimes men and women have different types of awareness. It's one of the reasons why as guys, we, for whatever reason, I call this jar of pickle in the fridge syndrome, where we open the fridge and we're looking for the jar of pickles and we can't seem to find it because our brain is somewhere else, we're thinking about something else and we can't see the jar of pickles. It's like right in front of our face. But because the feminine, because women are like these amazing gatherers and they know where everything is, they're able to tell us that the jar of pickles is in the top right hand corner of the fridge where it always is. But we don't store information like that as men. We just don't, we don't store that type of information. Our brain doesn't seem to code it as relevant information. Now some of the other things that we need to know in terms of how men and women communicate differently is around how we speak and how we listen. So the masculine, the masculine will listen from a place of what's the point? So he's constantly listening to his partner, he's constantly listening to his partner and he's thinking, what is the point of what they're trying to tell me? What are they trying to get across? What do I need to know? What relevant information can I, can I, you know, grab onto right now so that I can understand her better, so that I can help her solve her problems. So he's constantly listening for information, knowledge, details and data so that he can assimilate that all for one purpose, which is the point, the point that you're trying to make. And when he communicates, he's often communicate that exact same thing. He's communicating the information and the data that is needed in order to communicate the point that he's trying to get across. So it's almost, it's not, it's not like super linear, but in a lot of ways it's almost like one dimensional. It's like, here's all the information that you need to know and here's the point that I'm trying to make. And this is a modality that very masculine People, whether it's men or women, can get into, in conflict. When a conflict arises and a person's in their masculine, they will go into the space of trying to prove their point. They will harp on this point and they will bring in examples and they will bring in data, and they will bring in past times that you have done this, that you've left the toilet seat up, and they'll bring in all of this data to prove this one single point, and they will not let go. My fiance calls it the jackhammer effect. Because this is exactly what I do. I start to jackhammer in the information. I'm like, here's all the data and information, and I'm going to keep jackhammering that in until you get the point. And for, for the feminine, it's like, okay, like I've, I've got it. And where this differs from the feminine is that the feminine communicates from a space of connection. So the feminine is always trying to communicate the emotional side of things is trying to communicate the details, the, the, the, the sort of, the touch, the taste, the smell, the sight, how it looked and felt there. It's trying to communicate and everything that's around the point. So sometimes there isn't really a point. Sometimes the feminine is just communicating from a space of I'm looking for you to connect and acknowledge that what you hear is true. And I'm trying to connect and communicate from a space of getting validation that you understand what I'm saying. Because that validation, that understanding is what allows for connection to happen for the feminine. And so the feminine is often listening for those connection points. And again, what happens in conflict if the feminine is not careful is she can be listening from a space of connection and she can be validating the masculine's different points, all the data points that he's putting out, all the data, information he's putting out, but missing the larger point and without validating that the masculine doesn't feel heard or understood. So that's what I've got for you today. Please share this with somebody who will get some benefit out of it, somebody that is working on their relationship currently. Don't forget to subscribe. If you're watching on YouTube or even Facebook, you can subscribe. Press the little red button. And if you're checking this out on itunes or Spotify or whatever platform you are listening to us on, don't forget to click subscribe and please share. Our rating and review goes a long way. Let me know what topic you would love for me to jam on next week, hit me up, private, message me DM me on any social media platform and I'll dive into that topic. So until next week, Connor Beaton signing off.
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