Transcript of a Connor Beaton interview with Danica Patrick discussing traits she seeks in a partner (she lists five core traits), how truth and authenticity matter, effects of dating apps on attraction dynamics, and mutual misunderstandings between men and women (women as intuitive 'lie detectors'; men as more linear/suppressing emotions). The piece focuses on practical relationship insights and gender-dynamic reflections rather than empirical claims.
Chapters
What is a woman like Danica Patrick looking for in a man?
Oh, man. Do you want to get my laundry list of traits that I.
You're like, let me get up my note on my iPhone. I have this press.
Exactly. I have one. I do.
You know.
I do have, like, actually, I'm totally going to pull it up because there are five, like, important.
This is great. This is great.
Five important traits that. These are not in order. These are just the five things. Adventure.
Smart, intellectual, open minded, that whole thing.
Honest.
Funny.
And passionate.
So there's a lot else. But, but those are the main, most important things to me that I know I need. And I've learned that through relationships. And I've also, you know, those are some of the things I've just always gravitated towards. But, but ultimately, I think the more, I think what we're kind of getting into in culture and in life and this experience is that we're really getting good at sensing the truth. And so.
It doesn't. Someone doesn't necessarily need to fit a certain bill, a certain box, a certain list, but they got to be honest and true. Like, we resonate with truth. So the more someone can be themselves. You don't have to agree with me all the time. In fact, that's sometimes the most endearing thing when someone's like, know. I don't know. I don't think so. Like, and you go, okay, cool. Because you know what? Now when you do agree with me, I believe you. And so there's value in not agreeing on everything.
Because it shows that you're, you're, you're in your truth. You're living your truth, you're honest and your words match your emotions. Because I, that's something that I sense deeply within people is whether or not what they're projecting and what's coming out of their mouths and how they're acting is, is in resonance with their truth. Like, how does it feel? Is there a, is there a resonance here? Like, does this feel clean or does it feel confusing?
So the less confusing you are, I think the more amazing you are. Which doesn't mean you have to fit a certain list of traits and heights and weights and whatever. I know that guys get up in arms about, you know, needing to be over 6 foot to get picked on a dating app, but trust me, like, it doesn't have to fit a certain list of things, but you got to be in your truth. And I think that really resonates.
Yeah, I think it's the challenge with the amount of data that we can pull from dating apps now, you know, and. And how. Dating apps have really skewed things in a lot of ways because you do have guys that are on there that are pulling a lot of the women, you know, and that a lot of the women are attracted to, in some ways, a small subset of men. Yeah. And then you have this, you know, like the bottom 50% of men on dating apps, they just get no traction. You know, it's just. It's. That's rough. You know, that'd be a rough experience to have.
Yeah.
So.
I feel like I could talk to you for hours, and I think that we would probably have some. Some more. I mean, we traversed some territory. We bounced around a little bit. It was fun, but we traversed some territories. I'm going to leave you with the final question of. Because we've been talking about men and women and masculine and feminine dynamics, and we. We kind of inadvertently talked about some evolutionary psychology here and there. Spirituality, achievement. Like, we kind of cross the board. What do you think that women get wrong about men and that men get wrong about women?
What do men get wrong about women?
We're not crazy.
We're lie detectors. Because I believe that. I believe that women are very.
Somatically intuitive.
And so that kind of comes and lands in the mind eventually too. Like, there's some information that's confusing. So I think where guys. I think guys giving women a bad name. Being crazy, I think is just because we just have certain sensing capabilities that are heightened. And so it makes us seem crazy because we're like, what are you doing? Why are you doing that? Why? Like.
Probably pretty justified most of the time.
I think that might be something that guys get wrong about girls. We're not crazy. We're just intuitive.
It's good. Okay. Vice versa.
What do I think?
What do I think that women get wrong about men?
You worked with a lot of. You worked with a lot of men. You've been around a lot of men. You've talked to a lot of men. I think it's. I think you have a good, like, data set to pull from.
They. I found a long time ago that men think very simply. Like, it's not as confusing. I think women. There's a lot more interference. There's a lot more thoughts. There's a lot more. A lot more going on. I think men are quite. Are a lot more linear in their thinking and it's a little bit more obvious. I don't think that it is as complicated as.
We make it out to be. And I think maybe, you know, this is a little bit. That's not exactly the same thought, but what I just thought of is that men do push things down more. Men do suppress more. Men don't communicate as much. So you think you've. You think something's wrong with them, or you think something might be wrong with you because of the way that they're acting. And it's just that they're just not communicating what's going on. They're just going to deal with it or let it go away or push it down or talk to someone else sometime later or maybe you later. But I think that that's kind of where the crazy comes in, is that women want to know what's going on at all times and they can sense something. And that, you know, since masculine nature, to not, like, be like. So today I had a really hard day. You know, Jen from accounting said, where's that paperwork? And, you know, hurt my feelings. It's not your nature. So, like, let it simmer. And that leads to the ever so important nature of autonomy, to be able to really know where you stand emotionally so that when something else is going on around you, you know it's not you. And then you don't get triggered, then you don't get reactive, then you don't get crazy. You got to know where you're at. And I think that this is something that could be of value on both sides and is you've just got to have a little bit of your own shit going on, and you have to have a little bit of alone time. I find alone time to be the only way that I can reorient with where I'm at. And if I don't get it, then I can kind of get a little bit skewed. And then I'm like, oh, what did I do? What is wrong? Like, my. My. My codependent nature comes out more. But when I have alone time and I can reorient with myself now, I know it's not me. And then sometimes things just go away because it was never me. I would have made a big deal out of it in the past, but now I'm like, not me. It's not me. I didn't do anything. I. So I think that alone time could be of. Of high value. So I know that wasn't a super, super clean answer, but.
No, it's good.
Not super clean.
I was going to make a joke of like. So you're admitting that sometimes women project their complexities onto men?
