Dealing With Regret

Don't waste time on regret. Regret is one of the experiences that we carry that inevitably only produces more of itself when we stay in the space of regret. Regretting an affair, regretting the lost relationship, regretting what we should have done or should have said, or the mistakes that we made that led to something happening with our job or our career or our business, or whatever it is that regret is trying to teach us something that we are often resisting. You see, most people, when they experience regret for their actions or something that they should have done, what they're not realizing is that it's not the regret that is the problem, it's the shame that they are experiencing for their actions. Regret stays when you don't believe that you've learned the lesson from what caused the regret in the first place. Regret lingers when you haven't allowed yourself to grieve. What transpired, the mistakes that you made, the failure, the sadness from the loss. Right. I see this all the time with men, where you go through a breakup and you go through the breakup because you acted needy, because your insecurities got the best of you and you pushed somebody away, or you felt insecure in a way, or you felt like you weren't deserving of the relationship or the woman that you were with. And so you started to sabotage. And eventually your sabotage pushed that person away to the degree where you couldn't win them back, where nothing that you could say or do would get them to come back into your life. And that's where regret enters, because you regret and are ashamed of your actions. And largely, what I've seen is that most of you don't allow yourselves to really grieve. The loss of. Of not only the relationship, not only that person, but the loss of the realization that you can no longer act as that person anymore. You can no longer allow yourself to be in that mode of sabotage, in that modality of sabotage, because now you're conscious of it, now you're aware of it. And so to stay with regret is to pretend like you don't already know what you cannot allow yourself to do anymore. It's to stay with the ignorance, to pretend like you don't know how in a next relationship, you won't allow yourself to act in that way again. So regret is a form of punishment. We deploy regret when we want to punish ourselves. All that I can really say about your past, about your actions, about what happened, is that it happened, is that you did those things, is that you made those mistakes. And that's all that you can really say as well. And that should be enough, right? That should be enough. The knowledge of that should be enough. At some point it has to be. Because that's all that there is. And it should be enough to know that those actions, that experience, that that unfolded was meant to teach you, was meant to show you, was meant to expand you, by breaking you down, by bringing your way of being, your sabotage oriented behavior, your insecurities, the parts of you that you were trying to hide from the world or from the woman that you were with came to light. And that should be enough. Regardless of how tragic it was, how unfortunate it was, how much you never wish that it happened, that should be enough. Because there is a kind of wisdom in falling apart. There is a kind of wisdom in decay, in things being brought to light. So when regret shows up in your life, welcome it. Realize that it's trying to bring some form of grieving to you. Realize that when you are clinging to regret, what you are actually doing is pretending like the lesson that you were meant to learn isn't standing right in front of you already. And embrace that lesson. Commit yourself to the action that you know you need in order to move forward. And for some of you, that might mean that you have to grieve. You have to allow yourself to be washed over by the sadness of the lost relationship, the lost opportunity, right? The. The business that you poured and invested money and time and effort into that you destroyed, that you sabotaged with your own actions, Right? You have to allow yourself to grieve those things and then to allow the lessons to come. So I hope that you enjoyed this video. I would love to hear your thoughts on regret. Feel free to comment below. If you are watching this on YouTube, don't forget to rate and subscribe and tag someone, right? Send this to somebody that you know could use this. And send this to somebody that you know has been regretting some of their actions, whether it's in their career or their relationship. Because we all battle with regret. And it's not necessarily a bad thing. It's how we approach it and navigate and deal with it.