Three periods make divorce especially hard on kids: infancy when attachment forms, early adolescence around ages 9-15, and the year before college. Timing a separation outside these windows can reduce emotional damage.
Is there a developmental stage that is better to go through separation with kids versus a developmental stage where it's like really detrimental?
The stages that are best to separate and divorce are not 0 to 3. If you get divorced before 3, you're interrupting often attachment security. Those first 3 years are critical. There's another period of development that's really tough from 10 to 14 or 15. You want to avoid adding any extra adversity or stress to your child's life. Make sure you don't do it too close to when they go to college because, you know, you need to give them time, at least a year, to process with you what's happened, right, and get used to the new world that they live in. Sand trap 1, 0 to 3. Sand trap 2, about 9 or 10 to 14 or 15. Sand trap 3, right when they go to college. So if you can avoid those sand traps, it's better.
How to Raise Strong, Unshakable Boys in Today's Culture, with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
