In this solo monologue on the ManTalks Show, Connor Beaton argues that a core imbalance in modern relationships stems from a mismatch in what men and women are taught about expectations. He claims most women are educated on what to expect from men but not how to treat them, while most men learn how to treat women without clear guidance on what they should expect in return. This leads to "expectationless" or "standardless" men who abandon their own standards to win a partner, and to women who raise their expectations of men without offering reciprocal standards. Beaton rejects the notion that men should become colder or more dominant; instead, he advocates for developing reciprocal standards—communicating and upholding mutual expectations. He outlines practical steps for men: recognizing what they bring to a relationship, articulating their own expectations and standards, and maintaining those standards to reduce resentment, avoid people‑pleasing, and create balanced relational dynamics. The video concludes with a call for audience feedback and a promise to expand on these ideas in future episodes.
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All right, team, welcome back to the ManTalks Show. I'm Connor Beaton, and today we're gonna be talking about a bit of a charged topic, which is the main reason, in my opinion, one of the main imbalances in modern relationships and dating that is leading to catastrophe, that is leading to the breakdown of so many modern relationships. And so what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna lay out the imbalance, I'm gonna lay out the main problem Most women today have been taught what to expect from you as a man, but not how to treat you as a man. Whereas most men, you have been taught how to treat a woman, but you have not been taught what to expect from her. This imbalance is quietly, or not so quietly, destroying modern relationships. It is destroying modern dating. And because of this, it has turned a lot of men into what I call expectationless men, standardless men. And they are so desperate to get into a relationship with a woman that they cast their own standards and expectations aside. And many women have been taught to raise their standards, uh, for— from what they look to get from men, but not necessarily taught what standards they should be giving back. So the fix isn't for you as a man to get colder, right? To get to, to be more sort of hard and shut down. It's to try and develop reciprocal standards. You don't become harder to love for that woman. You become worthy of loving more fully. You see, one of the most frustrating things for a woman is understanding what it is that you actually expect. And there's also narratives within female culture and society that shames women sometimes for meeting the expectations and standards of men. A woman's expectations and standards are not inherently a problem. Sure, some women maybe have expectations that are unrealistic, but so do some men. There are certainly some men that are out there that are like, and I've worked with them, it's like, a woman has to look exactly like this, and she has to dress exactly like this. And it's so sort of controlled and particular that there's no room for the reality of a human being to step in. But what we want to cultivate is reciprocity of expectations, that I can communicate what my expectations and standards are, and I expect you to meet them, and in return, I'm going to do the same thing. So how can you begin to restore balance? Let's talk about it. What do you as a man do if you have found yourself in a marriage of 10 years where you've never really had any expectations or standards, or you're starting to date and this feels brutally uncomfortable because what you've always done in the past is just try and figure out what does she expect of me and let me chameleon myself into that. The answer is not to become more dominant or aggressive. It's not to detach. It's not to stop giving a shit about a woman's expectations or standards. It's not that at all. It is to develop reciprocal standards, reciprocal expectations. And you do this in a few ways. Number 1, you begin to know what you personally bring to the relationship. So you can begin to end this imbalance in a relationship by bringing some of your expectations forward, by bringing some of your standards forward and holding those standards in the relational dynamic. And when you do that, you are going to not only create a proper balance relationally, but you are going to end some of the resentment that has lately built up. You are going to start to end some of the nice guy and the people-pleasing tactics that you usually deploy to try and get love in return from a woman. And you are going to set a tone and a standard of what is expected within the relational dynamic. So more on this soon. Share your thoughts, share your comments below. Let me know what you think. And as always, until next week, Connor Beaton signing off.
