Hilarious Christmas Story & Thanks To You And Yours

All right, team, Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and welcome back. I thought I would do a little Christmas message for you. I'm sure that some of you are with family or with friends, maybe some of you are solo. But today I want to step away just for a brief moment from the usual deep dives. The psychology, the interviews, the frameworks, the tools that you can use, and just speak to you directly, man to man, human to human. Because this time of year does something to us. Quietly, subtly, sometimes painfully. And most of us don't really ever talk about it. And I'm going to start by just sharing a bit of a story. So last year, my mom passed last February. And my mom loved Christmas. And I was reminded of this a couple days ago when my stepfather sent me a video. And it was images over the years of my mom and our family. And, you know, my mom was that type of person that loved the lights and the decorations and the ugly sweaters, like the really ugly, ugly sweaters. But she also loved the good food. And what she really loved was the quality time together. You know, it was a time for all of us to gather her kids to be there. I moved away when I was 18, and then I moved to a different province, you know, hours and hours, you know, a thousand kilometers away from, from her when I was 23. And so Christmas always represented this time where, like, all of us would come together. And so in the spirit of Christmas, I thought I would, I would, thought I would just share with you a kind of hilarious story from our family. And I know my mom would probably roll her eyes if she knew I was telling this story, but she would also be laughing because that is what would happen in my family. And then I'm going to share a little bit with you about how these times of the year can really shape us. So my mom would buy all these Christmas decorations and one year and she, you know, her and my stepdad had a Costco membership. And one year she went out and she bought this like five and a half foot tall dancing Santa. And you would turn it or you would walk past it and it had sensory like sensors and it would start dancing and it would start singing and this, this whole shebang. And you know, my siblings and I, my sister and my brother would always get a kick out of it. I was like, man, like she, you know, why would she buy something like this? This is so ridiculous. And yada, yada, yada. And this, this dancing Santa was a part of our family for years. And one year, one year I came home and we were messing around and dancing. Santa was downstairs in the basement, and my sister and I and my little brother had gone home, and we. You know, our basement was just an amalgamation of stuff that was from our childhood that never got moved. So all of us had moved out by this point. And in the basement was, like, you know, my Nintendo 64 from high school and some of my brother's games and, you know, board games and some of my sister's stuff. And we ended up finding this, like, oversized red penis pillow. Okay. And it's just. It's just in the shape of, like, a dong and balls, which is, like. I don't know where it came from. I think it was. I think my sister said it was like a gift that she got one year for her birthday. And. And so we thought it'd be so funny to put this dong between Santa's legs and have dancing Santa with this, like, schlong just, like, whipping about. And so we did. We put it between Santa, and you walk past him, he'd start dancing. And, you know, this penis is, like, waving back and forth, and we are, like, dying laughing. We think it's the funniest thing in the world. And so we call upstairs. We're like, mom, mom, come downstairs. We have something to show you. And she comes downstairs, and she walks around the cor. Course. It sends off. It sets off the sensors on dancing center. And he starts singing and dancing with this giant red penis pillow between his legs. And it was hilarious. And of course, my mom was just like, this is ridiculous. What are you doing? She's like, debate. You can see the debate in her head, like, do I grab this penis pillow between Santa's legs, or do I just leave it and walk away? She chose the ladder. She just left it and walked away and was sort of shaking her head. But that, to me, is what holidays are really about. When. When possible, is that it's. It's really about making memories, you know, making memories with one another. And sometimes those memories are silly and sometimes they're sad. And, you know, sometimes in the holidays, it's always complex, sometimes just easy and peaceful. But Christmas and the holidays really have a way of bringing everything to the surface, you know, everything to the surface. It's all of the family dynamics. It's all the. All the complicated stuff. The strain, the tension, the joy, the love, the grief of missing one another and maybe feeling disconnected in a way. And it might be the distance between, you know, where we are with our family or where we are in life and where we'd hope that we'd be. It's the old stories that we've inherited about, you know, who we're supposed to be in our family, who we're becoming. The pressure to hold everything together. And maybe for a lot of you listening and tuning in, Christmas can feel like a celebration and. Or it can feel more like a mirror reflecting back the places where, you know, you're tired, you're stretched, you're. You're disconnected, you're depleted, you're carrying more than maybe you want to express. Or maybe it's these beautiful moments of hope and joy and ridiculousness. And I think one of the things that I've always tried to do with my family is just bring this kind of, like, ridiculousness, you know, this fun and this spontaneity. So if you're tuning into this, if you're listening to this and you feel any of that way where, you know, this Christmas season is challenging for you, I just want to say that you're not alone. You're not alone in that. And. And maybe you can have your own dancing Santa, giant penis pillow moment to break out of it. And I think that that's important, that sometimes we can get into these spaces where everything's so serious, right? You're doing the work, or you're trying to create change in your life, and everything just becomes so serious, and we miss out on the hilarity of things, the ridiculousness of things, the play of things. And this time of the year is usually when men step into roles that can go unseen, right? Where you take on more responsibility. You feel the pressure to sort of provide, to plan, to make sure that things are all coordinated. You're trying to be the emotional anchor. And like Ram Dass said, when you think you're enlightened, go and spend time with your family. So maybe you've been doing your own personal work in some capacity in your home, with family, and some of that's being tested, and you're trying not to fall back into being a chauffeur or a people pleaser or a peacekeeper. And sometimes for a lot of men, they can feel like it's their responsibility to be the glue that holds the family together. And the truth is that most men have maybe never really been shown how to show up fully while still taking care of themselves, right? Maybe you saw your dad, like, really, you know, sacrifice himself or, you know, just get loaded over Christmas and not really sort of show up the way that you want. And what can happen is that we can really push ourselves and push our needs down. We can push down how we want things to go. We can push down the part of us that just wants to be a kid and sort of play and have fun, whether it's with your own kids or with your friends or with your family. So this Christmas, here's my invitation for you. Slow down enough to feel your life again. Slow down enough to really feel into the truth of your life again. Maybe for the first time in a while, not the life that you think you're supposed to have, that you think your family wants for you, but the one that is actually there, the life that you actually have, the life that's unfolding for you right now. Because the holiday season is, yes, can be full of family and friends and fun and excitement and the complicated dynamics of the family system sometimes, but it's also a beautiful moment to sort of stop and reflect and feel into what's happened this past year and how do I want things to unfold, moving forward and to be with the truth of the people that you love, even if they don't always know how to show it and reciprocate it to you. To be with the challenges that are, that are shaping you, that are shaping your life, maybe your work, your career, Even if they feel heavy in the moment to be with the grief of a lost loved one. You know, I think that's something that's been very present for me as I enter in to this Christmas season. Having a four and a half year old and a 15 month old and celebrating, you know, seeing the excitement in their eyes, being like, oh man, like my mom's not here to see that and to be with that and to experience that. And so it's the slowing down into being present to the totality of your life. So let this be a moment to really arrive in your own life and to be present with what is true about your life. And all I want to offer you is some quick reflections about the season. Think of them as, as small internal gifts that you can give yourself. So, number one, recognize the man that you've become this year. If you follow my work, if you follow my channel, it's highly likely that you are doing some work in your own way, whether it's through the Man Talks alliance or some of the programs that we've done, or books that you're reading or shows that you're tuning into, but you're doing some work in your own way to improve yourself in some capacity as a man, as a father, as a husband, as a leader, as a partner. And what I've noticed is that we as men rarely give ourselves the credit and the acknowledgement that we deserve. And so I hope that you take some time to really recognize who you have started to become this year, the work that you have done this year, the. The part of you that was resilient and kept going. How you adapted, how you learned, how maybe you endured through some. Some real hardship, how you worked on yourself, even if no one else saw, even if no one else saw the struggle in the late nights and the early mornings and trying to get your routines in place, you saw it. You saw it. So recognize that, because that is, at the end of the day, what really matters and what really counts. Number two, reconnect with what really matters. Not the noise, not the expectations, but what really matters for you. Connection to your significant other, connection to your kids, presence, to a sense of purpose and mission in life, a deeper connection to your own inner truth. And maybe a connection for you to God, to spirit, to spirituality. If that's a part of your path, really let yourself slow down enough to be present in yourself and in your life. So reconnect with presence and truth in your life. And number three, extend and expand compassion. Extend and expand compassion to yourself and to others. It's so easy to, in the holiday seasons, go back into the old patterns, and all of the expectations can come in, all of the old patterns of disconnection and hostility and disappointment and all those types of things. This time of the year is usually fraught with tenderness and high expectations and sometimes hurt feelings or, you know, disappointments. And people carry those old wounds into the room with them when the family gathers. And so this might be a time for you to extend some compassion for yourself, for maybe actions or choices or decisions that you made in the past that you're trying to reconcile with or compassion to others around you that maybe have let you down or hurt you in the past. And to remember that it's actually it's okay to have made mistakes, to be imperfect, to not have it all figured out, to be a man who is still in the process of learning how to be a better father, a better husband, a better leader. So extend that compassion outward, but also extended inward. And that's usually the place, the inward journey of compassion that we as men need. So to wrap this all up today, I just wanted to say, you know, Merry Christmas to you, Happy Holidays to you. Let it not be about perfection, not about performing for your family, not about proving anything to anyone, but about a return to deep presence, a Return to connection, a return to meaning, and really finding the quiet moments where you realize that even in the chaos that sometimes can be the holidays, even in the uncertainty of not knowing how things are going to happen and go down, you know, maybe you're for the first time this year separated from your kids and you're having to do split custody, or maybe for the first time, like, you know, like me, you're doing it without a parent present. And, I mean, who knows what that looks like that brings it? Uncertainty. Maybe there's even a heartbreak that you might be navigating, that you're still on the path, you're still walking the journey of becoming who you are meant to be. So wherever you're listening from, whether you are surrounded by family this holiday season, or you're in a quieter space, whether you're overflowing with gratitude and joy and excitement and happiness, or, you know, you're wrestling with something pretty heavy, I just want to thank you for being here. I want to thank you for just tuning into my work and letting me support you in some capacity. And I want to thank you for doing the work that you have done. I. I might not know you, I might not know the journey that you've been on, but as my first mentor said, sometimes it takes somebody to believe in us more than we believe in ourselves. And I've tried to make this channel, I've tried to make my work a place where I share that belief in you and I share that gratitude and that recognition with you. And so I just want to recognize you for showing up for yourself, for showing up for the people in your life. I believe that it's far too few and far between that men are really deeply thanked and given thanks and given recognition and given gratitude in our culture and our society today. And. And so to all the men out there, to you as a man that is watching this, that is listening to this, a huge, deep thank you to you. Thank you for loving the people in your life. Thank you for being present to the people in your life. Thank you for showing up with grit and resiliency and determination and trying to work through the hard things that are maybe, you know, causing disconnection or keeping you in a state of being disconnected with your kids or your family or whatever it is. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for doing everything that you do as a man to support your family, your spouse, your significant other, your kids, the people around you, your friends. I might not know you and you might not know me, but I know men enough to know that if you are watching this, you probably work tirelessly to support the people in your life, and that might go unseen a lot. And so thank you to you for all of the unseen work, all the unseen effort and energy and time and love and dedication and presence that you poured into your life and into the people around you. So Merry Christmas, brother. I appreciate you. Thank you so much for being here and I will see you in the new year. Take care.