Short YouTube clip by Connor Beaton giving interpersonal advice: when someone (here, a woman) behaves in a way that affects you, calmly and vulnerably state the specific impact on you (what hurt you and why) in a depersonalized, non-threatening way. This frames the issue as your internal experience and creates an opening for the other person to acknowledge or take accountability.
Talk about impact and potentially non negotiables her actions, her behaviors. What was the impact on you from a grounded place, from a calm place when she did or said or chose what she wanted to do, say or choose, what was the impact on you personally? Communicating that as clearly as possible in many ways is going to be perceived as vulnerability by her. Hey, when you did that or when you said that it hurt me because of X, Y and Z, depersonalizing it, not threatening the relationship, you're not demanding that she takes accountability. You are speaking from a place of here's the impact that your actions, behaviors, choices and words had on me. And when you do that, you are presenting to her the impact in a way where there's an opening for her to take accountability by saying, oh, I understand, oh, I get that because you're talking about some type of internal impact SA.
How to Raise Strong, Unshakable Boys in Today's Culture, with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
