How To Attract Better Quality Women

What's going on, team? Welcome back to the Man Talk Show. Today we're gonna be talking about how you can attract better quality women, higher caliber women, and some very simple, direct, specific, tactical things that you can execute on to do that. And what I want you to know is that some of the information that I've seen out there is pretty basic, right? Like if you want to attract a 10, you got to be a 10. Um, I think that kind of stuff is, is a little annoying. And I also say that because there was a point in my life where I was so far off from that that to get to that point seemed like this, you know, climbing Mount Everest. And so wherever you are on your perceived scale, wherever you think you are, just know all of this information is going to help you start from where you are at. And secondly, even if you are in a relationship, this is going to help you because by following some of these p, you are going to improve your relationship with your partner. Naturally. So where do we begin? The first thing that I want to say is there's a very important element to facing your fears and being honest about the red flags that you've ignored in the past, right? So pay attention to the red flags and face your fears now. What do I mean by that? You need to look at your dating history, right? You need to look at your dating history. The reality is that you have likely dated women that have had red flags that you have ignored in those relationships and that you are still ignoring today, right? Women that don't text you back, you know, are non responsive or that are like stage five clingers and are just emotionally volatile and all over the place. And you've ignored those things and you've still allowed yourself to get in relationships with those types of women because you're afraid of not having anything better. You're afraid of, you're afraid of having to stand up for yourself and say, hey, listen, like I appreciate you, but this relationship isn't right for me. Or I enjoyed a couple dates, but I know this isn't what's right for me. And for a lot of guys, what happens is that they think with the wrong head, right? You think with the wrong brain. And when sex is on the table, we as men, and I say this not as a judgment, but from a reflection of myself, we as men will just fucking ignore the most blatant red flags because we're, we're getting some good sex, right? Like we're, we're getting laid. It's fun, it's exciting. Maybe it's mind blowing. And it's, you know, you're getting to do all this like kinky that you've never got to done before or explore certain fantasies that you've always wanted to explore. And that will almost always infiltrate a man's perspective and cause him to ignore red flags. I remember I dated this girl in high school. She was not well. Like she definitely had an anger problem. And you know, I saw it come out with her family and I remember sitting there as like a 16 year old kid, kid being like, and, and watching this, watching this woman literally pick up dishes in the kitchen and whip them across the dish at the, across the kitchen at her brother's head or younger brother's head. I remember thinking to myself, someday this woman's anger and frustration is going to get directed at me because we'd only been dating for like a few weeks or a month or something like that at this time. I remember sitting there being like, I'm going to be on the receiving end of that someday. But I was young and I was dumb and I wanted to get laid. And so I ignored the red flags that were there. Now some of you guys, I love you, but some of you guys are still doing this shit in your 40s and your 50s or in your late 20s or in your early 30s where you, you, you get a couple dates into a relationship and you're like, I know this isn't it, but I could get laid. And so you ignore the red flags and then you find yourself in a predicament or a relationship and that you do not want to be in. Now on the other side are your fears. For some guys, they are afraid. They are afraid to have the hard conversation. They're afraid to really be direct and break up. They are afraid to say what they want sexually. They are afraid to approach the woman. And so if you are wanting to attract better quality women, you have to be a man who is willing to confront his fears relationally, emotionally and sexually. This is the training ground. This is the part of a relationship with a woman that is going to sharpen you as a man. When you are willing and able to confront your fears that surround women, you are going to develop your masculinity. Not a lot of guys talk about this, but this is one of the benefits. I guess we could say this is one of the beneficial outcomes of facing your fears relationally with women is that you start to, you start to sharpen your masculinity in that part. Now you need to sharpen your masculinity in other places with men and with, you know, your body and challenges and et cetera. But relationally, facing your fears with women, being able to go and talk to them, ask for a phone number, strike up a conversation, all of those things are going to make you more attractive to women because women like men who are willing to face their fears. Women like men who are willing to face their, their fears. It's just attractive for women. Why? I mean, we could go into this in depth, but the, the, the basic version of it is that women are attracted to men who understand what they're afraid of, but are still willing to confront that fear. And that provides a sense of safety for a woman. Because if you're a guy who's constantly living his life confined behind his fears, that woman will feel constricted and concerned that you aren't willing to. It takes in life in order to protect her, in order to stand up for her, in order to stand up to her. And so this is a signal, right? You facing your fears around women is a signal to a woman that you are willing to do what it takes. Now, number two is somewhat simple, but I'm going to break it down. It is work towards your idealized self. Work towards your idealized self having a direction about who you are becoming and who you are wanting to become. Your goals, your ambitions, you know, the things that you are trying to build in your life, your hobbies, et cetera, all of those things, all the work that you're doing on yourself, physically, psychologically and mentally, emotionally, financially, all of that shows a woman that you have direction. Women are drawn like a magnet to men who have direction. And we as men kind of know this, right? Like, we as guys, we know when you're moving somewhere, when you have this momentum, like you're building something or you have a mission that you're on, that all of a sudden women are like, oh, what are you. Like, what are you doing? Can I be around you? Can I spend time with you? Like, you're interesting all of a sudden, right? And you have an energy, you start to exude and transmit this confidence out into the women that are around you. And you are showing that you are moving in a direction. And maybe that means that you're moving in a direction of developing status, of developing higher value. But generally speaking, women are looking for men, right? Women like to date up and to the right. And so they like to date men that, for example, earn as much as them or out earn them, or they like to date men that have the potential of earning as much as them, or out earning them. And so if you are a man who is creating direction, who is clear about where he's going, the mission that you're on, what you're trying to build, what you're wanting to accomplish, what you're wanting to do, and it's clear and it's concise, it shows that you as a man have put in the work, the effort to narrow down what it is that you want. And that's the other thing. Women know that that's hard, right, because women date guys all the fucking time that are lost that can't articulate what they want, that can't articulate what they like, that can't articulate where they're going in life or what their plan is or what their vision is. And so if you are a man who has a vision for himself, for his life, in terms of what you want to build, what you want to create, what you want to do, and you have a vision for who you want to be, and you are actively working on that vision and you're able to articulate it, you're able to communicate to women, this is who I am trying to become. I am trying to become a man. I'm working on being a man who takes care of his body. I'm working on being a man who runs his own business. And this is my mission. I'm working on being a man who one day can be an exceptional father. And here are my principles and pillars. That is going to be very attractive for a woman, because you are telling that woman who you are. Number three. Get in shape. Just lift weights. I'm not even going to spend a lot of time on this one. Get in shape. All right. This whole conversation about body positivity, to be honest with you, I think it largely applies to women. I think in. I think in most situations, if you give women a choice between a guy with a dad bod and a guy with a six pack, they're just going to be more attracted to the guy with the six pack. It's just the way that it is now, outside of the that sort of very shallow, physical, sexual attraction piece, you as a man will benefit from seeing what your body is capable of. I remember I've always liked taking care of my body, but I've never really taken it seriously. And it's only been in the last year where I set a mission to be in the best shape of my life. And I love it. I love it. I feel so damn good. I'm approaching 40 and I feel Like, I have never had so much energy, I have never been so strong and I have never taken care of my body in this way. And it feeds a deep sense of confidence within me. It also helps me understand how to regulate my energy and what to do with my energy and being in my body physically, which is very attractive as well. So get in shape, go to the gym, lift weights, do Brazilian jiu jitsu, do Muay Thai. Find something that you love that's going to keep you healthy. I don't care if it's bouldering, rock climbing, paragliding. I don't know what's going to keep you in shape. Foiling, you know, the foiling on the ocean. Find something that you love that's going to help keep you in shape. Next is be interesting. Do things, read things, listen to things, get. Get interested in things that make you interesting. The most success that I ever had with women in my life was when I was a motorcycle, riding, opera, singing, meditating, bar fighting, hockey playing, dude. I was interesting. I was interested in who I was because I was very curious about everything. And I was trying to, you know, really get a sense of who I was and what I wanted to do and what I loved. And so I was using the shotgun approach, right? I was like, just do everything, ride motorcycles, race Mustangs, sing opera, do yoga, meditate, you know, go to the bar. I was just like taking that, this sort of like all encompassing approach. But what I can tell you is that as soon as I would talk to women, I was interesting to them because I was paradoxical. They couldn't quite figure me out, right? I'd be wearing a motorcycle jacket and telling them that I had just come from yoga, you know, was going to go and sing do, you know, do a singing lesson tomorrow for some opera rehearsal that I was a part of or, you know, whatever. And so that's very interesting. So you as a man will benefit not only in pursuing your interests, right? The deeper that you go into your interests, the more that you allow yourself the freedom and the permission to say, actually, you know what? I really just love astrophysics. Like I'm just really super into this, or I really am obsessed with theories of everything, right? This, this notion that, that physics or that science can find a unified theory to everything, or I'm really interested in gravity, I'm really interested in religions, or I'm really interested in microbiologies or whatever it is, I don't care what it is, but get interested in things that you are interested by and spend a lot of time on those things, watch videos about it, participate in conversations about it, whether it's cars or science or whatever, whatever it is, and then allow yourself to be immersed in those interesting things. Maybe that means that you go study abroad, you take a trip to go and see some temple, I don't know. But you start to pursue the things that are interesting to you. Because the reality is, is that a lot of the younger generation that's up and coming, they haven't done interesting things. They're not interested in interesting things. They're interested in the latest TikTok video or fucking game that's being streamed on Twitch. And for a lot of women there is this, especially for high caliber women, there is a very specific type of draw and attraction to men who are interesting. There's this really interesting piece of research that I'll give you right now that will hopefully drill home on point. Researchers have found that in relationships, women are much more likely to become bored sexually than men. Women are much more likely to become bored sexually than men. So what does this say? This says in many ways that women are the ones who are wanting curiosity, who are wanting stimulation, who are wanting exploration. And oftentimes it's guys that we can settle into routines, habits, structure, right? We have sex on this night and we do it in this position and we like, we just, as long as we're having sex, we can just do the same thing. And I'm good. I'm not saying that that's you, I'm not saying that that's me. But I'm just saying that oftentimes as men we can get stuck in our routines and our rituals and that habit can make us dull and boring. And what women are often attracted to are the guys who maybe they can't quite figure out or are somewhat mysterious or they have this edge about them that they're pursuing things that are fascinating to them. And so when you do this, you signal to a woman that you're going to prioritize something that is going to engage her excitement on an ongoing basis. And I don't think that this gets talked about enough. If you are an interesting man, you are going to engage your partner's excitement, their curiosity on an ongoing basis. And it's a signal to women that you're going to keep things alive, that you're going to keep things spicy or creative and you know you're not going to settle into this. We watch Jeopardy every night at 7 o' clock in our early 30s, right.

I don't know if any of you do that, but just say it. Next is be able to regulate your nervous system. And I only have two more after this, so I'll try and keep this concise. Be able to regulate your nervous system. So what does this mean? The game of attracting really great women is having a really solid connection to your nervous system. And the game in relationships is being able to out regulate your partner. That's the mission. That should be your mission as a man, to out regulate your partner. Now there's a couple reasons for this. Number one, it will provide safety, security, trust and that foundation for the woman that you date. Number two, it is going to help you very clearly identify some of those red flags, some of those women that are emotionally imbalanced and God forbid, maybe not well, but it's going to be able to help you identify the women that are just caught in drama, that just love the chaos. And that is probably something that you do not want to be around. That's not a high quality, high caliber woman. A woman that is constantly immersed in drama and chaos is likely not in my opinion, maybe yours is different. But in my opinion that is not a high caliber woman. I'm not interested in that at all. That doesn't interest me. So be able to regulate your nervous system, have practices on a daily basis, meditation, breath work, cold showers, being in nature, spending time outside, etc. That are going to allow you to regulate. And then bonus points if you know how to co regulate with your partner. I'll have videos and content on this coming soon. Next is know what you will tolerate in a relationship and adhere to it, be able to communicate it. So what are the non negotiables that you have in a relationship? Right. Maybe name calling is something that's just like totally off the table for you and you just like you won't tolerate that from yourself or from your partner. You know, maybe the, maybe threatening, breaking up constantly is just something that you won't tolerate in a relationship. The reason why these things are important, you know, I don't know who said it, it might have been my wife because she's got some great one liners about relationships. But there's a great saying that boundaries teach other people how to treat us. And so if you as a man don't have lines of tolerance where you say hey listen, I don't, I won't tolerate this in a relationship. You know, speaking to me like this or arguing like this, or name calling or throwing dishes at people's head, this is just something that is not acceptable for me in the context of relationships and having some very clear non negotiables is important. For example, maybe you never want kids, or maybe you absolutely want kids. That's okay for you to have those non negotiables in a relationship. So start to refine what some of those things are and don't be afraid to communicate them when you start dating again. This sends a signal. And what it does is it transmits who you are and what you want, and it filters out the women who are like, all chaotic, right? If you set a boundary with a woman and you say, listen, name calling is just not okay with me in a relationship, and she breaks up with you because of that, great, see you later. You know, like, that's all right. What you will tolerate in a relationship communicates to your partner what they can get away with, what they can do, how they can behave. And it also communicates who you are, what you want, and where you stand. So all of that is incredibly important. Last but not least, get offline. And in real life, if you want to attract better quality women, go where they are. Go where they are. Go to the grocery stores that they're at, go to the. Maybe not the gyms, because that's become like a bit of a shit show, but go to the grocery stores and the coffee shops that they are at, go to the conferences that they might be at, and start to really talk to women. And when I say start to talk to women, start to talk to women with what I call expectationless communication, outcomeless communication. Now, what do I mean by that? What I mean is, if you approach a woman in a coffee shop and you look at her and you think, oh, my God, I have to get this woman's number. I gotta go talk to her. I gotta get her phone number. We have to date, you know, I gotta have sex with her, she's gonna feel all of that neediness and all of that pressure you will be transmitting that you will be just giving that off in volumes to her. And it'll also pressurize you and cause a tremendous amount of insecurity and fear and nervousness and neediness that will then infiltrate your communication and how you interact with her. So if you go into a conversation and you start to practice just talking to women in coffee shops, hey, how's it going? How's your day? Love your watch. You know, shoes are cool, whatever it is, right? I don't. I don't know. Like, I'm just giving off examples, right? And you just start to have conversations with them without the expectation of getting their phone number without needing the outcome of going on a date with them. It opens up the opportunity to 1 see if that possibility is there 2 to help you be more fluid and more fluent in just speaking with women in a in a way that depressurizes the system and 3 it'll help you start to see the cues of when a woman is interested and not interested in you. So practice all of these things. Let me know which one stood out to you. Hit me up. Share in the comments below. If you're watching on YouTube. And until next week, as always, this is Connor Beaton signing off.