How to deal with rejection from a woman

And today we're going to talk about how you can deal with rejection from women. The question itself, how do I deal with or how do I avoid the rejection from a woman presupposes that your value as a man is somehow attached to her. Yes. For most men, they're terrified to go and get a number or ask a woman out or engage, just engage in a conversation because they're scared of being rejectable. Why? Why are you afraid of getting rejected? So the first step is that you need to separate your value as a man from her, yes, her no, and your value. Her rejection and your value are two entirely separate things. Notice that for you as a man, your desire to have her confirmation that you are good enough, that you're smart enough, strong enough, good looking enough, sexual enough, good enough to get her phone number or have a conversation or whatever it is, is an affirmation of whether you as a man are valuable, that you have worth. And so in that dynamic, the question itself is an indicator that your value and your worth as a man has been put into the hands of women, just collectively. So the first thing that you need to do is you need to build your value as a man. Because knowing your value as a man ensures that you won't look to the comfort of women to confirm your value. You won't be engaging in a conversation with women, thinking to yourself, I wonder if I'm good enough. I wonder if she'll like me. I wonder if I'm enough for her. You will know unequivocally that to the best of your capacity, that you have value, whatever it is that you value, those are the things that you need to build and develop. And there's this interesting correlation that will begin to happen. The sense that the more, the more you develop the skills that you want, right? I want to have a great body. I want to be in shape. I want to be strong. I want to understand money better. I want to understand relationships. I want to be more charismatic and have better conversations. I want to be more, well read all of those skills, right? I want to have discipline in my life. I want to wake up and go to the gym. I want to be good at woodworking or bow hunting or what, you know, whatever it is, whatever skill it is that you want to develop within yourself. When you do those things, it is an automatic reminder that you have value, that you as a man have worked to develop your value. The truth is, is that your value as a man is not granted, it's not given. It's something that you must earn. It's something that you must develop so that you can reinforce and recognize that you have done the work, you've done the hard work, to develop the skills to face the hard shit, to have the hard conversations that lead to you knowing that you have a sense of value in your life and in the world. Finally, the last thing I want to say about this, and I'm going to give you some tactical, is if you let your power, your worth, be outsourced to a woman, then you need them to say yes. And they can feel that. They feel a sense of neediness coming from you. They feel a sense of lack of sovereignty, a lack of freedom within yourself. And it's likely one of the reasons why they're rejecting you in the first place is because they can sense this man does not trust his own worth, this man does not trust his own value. And nothing is more attractive for a woman than a man who knows unequivocally that he has value, that he has worth. So the big thing, first and foremost is begin to look at what skills do I want to develop, what do I want to build in the world, who do I want to build myself into? And to not wait to go and do those things until you have found a woman, right? The logical fallacy that so many men buy into is that if I could just find the perfect woman, it would confirm that I'm good enough as a man, it would confirm that I'm valuable enough as a man. And again, that is just an outsourcing of your worth and your value as a man onto a woman. So let me know what you think in the comments below. Do you agree with this? Are there things that you would add change? How have you done this for yourself? How have you as a man begun to develop your own value, develop your own worth? And how have you faced rejection as a man? Alright, so finally, the last thing that I want to share with you is really two tactical things that you can begin to implement in order to face some of that fear of rejection. So the first thing is figure out exactly what you are wanting a woman to validate when you are approaching her, interacting her, right? So when you are afraid of being rejected, what is it that you are afraid of being rejected? Is it your insecurity? Is it your feeling that you are not good enough or smart enough or good looking enough? Right? What are you hoping that that woman will affirm if she says yes? Will it affirm the story that you're smart enough? Will it affirm the story that you're good looking enough or that you're good with women, or that you're charismatic or that you're successful in some capacity. So get really hyper clear on exactly what it is that you think a woman will validate if she says yes to you. And that is the exact thing that you need to develop. That's the thing that you as a man need to learn how to appreciate, how to validate, how to develop and nurture and nourish within yourself. And when you do that, when you add that piece in, you'll feel like a more whole, more complete man who has a little bit more confidence, a little bit more competence, and is able to approach and be a little bit more fearless with women. Because then their rejection won't be a confirmation of this internal bias or story that you have that, ah, fuck, I'm not good enough or I knew it. Like she's, you know, she doesn't think that I'm attractive or, you know, you know, I'm such a screw up. I mean, I never approach women correctly. It won't be an affirmation of those things. It'll just be, oh, you know what, I have worth, I have value, I'm good, I've developed this part of me. I can validate and appreciate myself. I just wasn't for her. No problem. The second thing is if a woman does reject you, if you approach a woman and, you know, you strike up a conversation in a coffee shop or at the grocery store, which are great places to talk to women, by the way, or even if you are engaging with somebody online and you ask a question, right, you say, you know, I'd love to take you out for a coffee or I'd love to, you know, just take you out and have a chat, you know, go for a walk sometime and get to know you a little bit better. And she says no, all right, do not debate her. Do not try and convince her and do not try and prove to her why she should just say, okay, thanks, no problem. You might be playful, you might say, like, okay, no problem. Are you sure? You know, like, you really sure? Not from a place of please, like, please accept me, but from a place of are you sure you don't want to engage with me? Like, are you sure that you're not maybe missing out on something? And that kind of playfulness can ease some of the tension that she might feel and give you a good sense, sense of whether or not you're in the right place. But don't debate, don't try and prove, don't try and convince. There are some women who are guarded against men and their first response is a kind of test. You know, how will you as a man react if I reject you? You know, a lot of guys online talk about shit, shit testing, which is a bit of a different thing. But sometimes even when we're engaging with women, they might test you a little bit to see how do you respond under a little bit of stress. How do you respond when you're not getting your way as a man. And sometimes the best thing you can do is say, okay, no problem. If you change your mind, let me know. Boom, done. And then you walk away. Right? Then it's good, you know, thanks so much for your time. Appreciate you. No worries. I hope that you have a good one. Or if you're texting online, like, no problem. Let me know if you change your mind. And then you just let that be and you walk away. Or, you know, you give her your number anyway, and you. And you, you know, let her go about her day and you thank her for our time. So do not debate, do not try and convince, do not try and prove. It puts you into a boyish kind of needy position where a woman will feel like you are trying to convince her into something and that you don't respect her. No, you don't respect her boundaries. You don't respect her space. And it'll make you look and feel a little bit helpless, like you're in a position where you should be doing something extravagant or you need to go over the top to try and get her to like you. All right? So be sure to like and subscribe. If you enjoyed this video, let me know again in the comments what you thought. I would love to hear your perspective. And if you're looking to build more worth, more confidence, more value within yourself that then definitely check out the video above here or here on how to build confidence as a man. Until next time.