How To Develop Self-Worth As A Man in Brief

What is self worth? Well, self worth, by definition is a. Is a kind of inner recognition of your life, your thoughts, your existence as holding inherent value independent of external approval or validation. Okay, External approval, validation or accomplishment. Now, that last part is pretty important because for the majority of men, the reason why you struggle with self worth is that you have offloaded and outsourced that validation that is necessary to the external world, to society, to women, to parents, to other men, to friends, et cetera. And so there is no internal mechanism of self recognition, of validating your own existence, your own value, and your own worth. And there's a constant looking for other people to validate that value for you. So self worth is something that is internalized. Okay? Something that is internalized. It's the intersection for me, and I'm gonna give you a redefinition of what it is. Self worth is the intersection of having done hard shit to develop competency in areas that you give a shit about.

And genuinely liking who you are and being able to recognize both. Okay? So self worth, and this is. I'm just gonna break it down very simply. Self worth is your willingness to do hard things that you genuinely care about that are meaningful and liking who you are in the process and the ability to validate both. So you can validate. I do hard things. I. I do things that I really care about. I do things that are meaningful to me, whatever those might be. Maybe it's woodworking, maybe it's volunteering, maybe it's the work that you do. Now, there's a couple of things that really damage and impact self worth. And this is very important for you to know. And it's important for you to know because in order for you to develop self worth, you are likely going to have to work through the things that damaged it. So, you know, if you're watching this video, it's very likely that you feel like you have a low level of self worth. You're not able to recognize yourself, what you do. Maybe you. Maybe you don't have a lot that you feel like you can celebrate yourself for. Maybe you don't like how you operate in relationships. This was a big one for me. How I operated in relationships wasn't good. I didn't honor my word. I wasn't faithful. I was, you know, kind of slippery. And then how I operated in my life professionally was, like, mediocre, subpar. I didn't feel very masterful. I didn't feel very competent. And so it was very hard for me to celebrate myself. But in an Unconscious way. What you take on is, I'm causing this, or I should be able to fix this, or I should be able to solve this, or what's wrong with me that this keeps happening. This is very common in kids that experience divorce. Their parents get divorced. They. The big internal question is, what did I do to cause this? How am I responsible for this? Same thing. If you experienced abuse, any type of verbal, emotional, et cetera, the common trope for a lot of, for almost every single individual is what was wrong with me that that was happening. Now, why is this important? Why am I telling you this last part? Specifically? Because this is giving you a clue into what you are going to need to do. Oftentimes as men, what we think we need to do to develop self worth is win all the time and then celebrate those wins. What likely needs to happen for you? And this is, there's two parts I'm going to be talking to you about today about how you can develop self worth. The one major thing is that you need to start to celebrate your efforts in a meaningful, continuous, consistent way and. And your ability to continually reinforce and recognize your efforts. Right? The alarm goes off. You said you were going to get out of bed. You get your ass out of bed. Boom. Celebrate the effort for getting out of bed, not the outcome of getting out of bed. That is a big mindset shift. Because what happens for a lot of men who lack self worth is they are chronic perfectionists or chronic perfection procrastinators. So they never taking action because why bother? Or when they do take action, they shit on themselves because it's not perfect. And both of those erode self worth because no effort is being praised. The second thing I'm going to say, and then we'll wrap it up, is release the beast from the basement. All of you have a kind of beast in the basement of your psyche, of your body, of your mind that is waiting to be let out. That is, that is really designed to charge you towards something meaningful. And that is meant to fight for your sense of value and worth. And that part of you, if you experienced trauma or abuse or neglect or abandonment or hypercriticism or whatever it was that you experienced that diminished your sense of self worth, that thing got locked away, that hunger to pursue meaning. It is very common that when you lack self worth, you are carrying on the legacy of what you experienced earlier on in life that diminished your self worth. Okay? So you become the legacy of the person who neglected you, abused you, abandoned you, criticized you, you never gave you the love and affection that you needed made you question your own self worth. We take on that commentary internally, that belief structure internally, and we have to be able to battle that a little bit. So you have to release the Beast from the Basement comment below. Let me know your thoughts on this one. Please don't forget to man it forward and share this episode with somebody that you know needs it till next week.

Sa.