How To Lead in a Relationship (Your Next Step) in Brief

All right, welcome back. We are going to be talking about how to lead in a relationship, Part two. There is a part one to this that you can check out on the channel if you haven't already. Tons of people have loved that video, so go and check it out either on YouTube or Spotify. Let's dive into part two. How do you lead in your relationship as a man? First off, I can't even believe I have to say this, but it's shocking to me how controversial this is for some people.

There's this notion that, you know, to lead in a relationship as a man is somehow misogynistic, and it's not what women want. And generally, like, where I want to begin is for you as a guy, just like I would say, just generally ignore the people that say that they don't want you to lead in a relationship. What most women are, I've found, are actually saying is that they don't want to be treated like a servant in a relationship. They don't want to be treated as less than in a relationship. They don't want to be looked down on. And all that's true. When I'm talking about leading a relationship, I'm not talking like, you're the boss and they have to do what you say. We're not talking about, you know, you being the, like, executive manager and she's this servant that has to go along with things. That's not what we're talking about. Leadership, as I defined it in the first video, is a process of influence where one or many people are influenced towards a common goal or task. Now, for me, leadership is reciprocal. So this idea that you as a man, need to lead from the front, never being influenced by, you know, your girlfriend or wife, that I think is a very archaic modality that's going to set you up for failure because you're going to feel alone. Your wife, your girlfriend's going to feel like they have. Like they're not able to contribute to you. It's sort of the man's version of saying, I don't need a woman. I don't need anything from you. That idea of, I'm gonna lead things, I'm not gonna let you influence me. I'm not gonna take anything that you have to say that's as closed off as I don't need a man. Okay, let's dive in. The first thing that you need to start with when leading in your relationship is to be exceptional in leading yourself first. Be exceptional in leading yourself first. Now, what do I mean by that too many men are trying to get things right in their relationship with their girlfriends, with their wife, and they really lack focus on being the man that they need for themselves. So who is the man that you need to be for you? What is the type of man or the type of leader that you need to be for yourself? Get your health together. Eat better. Stop eating, you know, 30 minutes before you go to bed. Stop smashing ice cream and popcorn or a slice of pizza right before you go to bed. Get better, sleep.

You know.

One of the things I wanted, like, I wanted, I had, like, the moment from home alone in my head, like, take a damn shower every day, you filthy animal. I remember there was times in my life where it's just like, a day or two would go by, and even though I'd work out, like, I just wouldn't take a shower. Like, I know some of you are doing that. Don't judge me, right? I know some of you do that. You're just like, it's okay if I don't shower. I worked out. I'm gonna go to bed. I'm not gonna shower. I see you guys. I know I'm. I'm a. Like, I'm a bit of an animal myself. Step number two to leading in your relationship more effectively. Stop taking her emotions so personally. Okay? Most men try and lead emotionally in relationship by solving your, you know, your girlfriend's problems, your wife's issues, by trying to fix it, by trying to make them feel better, by jumping, you know, through hoops to try and figure out how you can rectify the issue for them. And most of those things are going to not feel like leadership.

Leading when your partner, especially a woman, is really upset, angry, sad is about becoming a harbor where she can bring those things, becoming a place where she can express some of her frustrations, her disappointments, her sadness, her anger without you going into a place. And this is where we. We get confused as men, because it's like, well, I need to do something about this. Wrong. You don't necessarily need to do anything about it unless she's specifically asking you to do something about it. Now, you can get clear on that by asking that directly. And you can say, hey, is this something that you want me to help you solve or fix? Is this something that you want me to do something about? Or would it be more helpful for me to hear you out and understand what you're going through? That question right there is leadership. The last thing is leading in connection and leading in repair. So can you initiate. Can you initiate connection. Can you initiate physical intimacy, touch, playfulness? Can you sit her down and say, tell me about your day. Right, I'm going to pour you a glass of wine or, or, you know, I'm gonna cut up the vegetables for dinner. Tell me about your day while I do that. And in doing this, you are opening the door for connection. And now it's her job to walk through it. But you are leading the connection physically, emotionally, psychologically, sexually. Now, I'm not saying that you're responsible for that a hundred percent of the time. That is absolutely not the case. But if you start to take leadership over this and you start direct the connection on an ongoing basis, this is going to be something that your, again, your girlfriend, your wife, your partner is really going to start to love because they are going to trust that. Like, here's, here's how I want to frame this. A man who initiates interest in connection is a man that is showing that he chooses that woman. And I'm using a, you know, man and a woman because that's just the majority of my audience. So drop your thoughts in the comments section below. Let me know which part of this really landed for you. Don't forget to man it forward and share this video, this episode and don't forget to subscribe wherever you are watching us on we are on Spotify. We are on YouTube. Don't forget to subscribe till next week. Connor Beaton signing off.