How to move past feeling stuck

Have you ever tried to build something, to create something and just gotten stuck, right? Just gotten stuck over and over and over again. And you're trying hard, you're trying to figure it out, you're trying to create something, trying to bring something into existence. Maybe it's just an email, maybe trying to write a book or working on a project, and for whatever reason, you are just stuck and you can't get through it. That's what we're going to talk about today. We're going to talk about how to get unstuck. So this is the Man Talk show and I'm Connor Beaton. All right, let's talk about getting unstuck. So I'm going to be pretty. I'm going to be pretty candid with you. I have been trying to record a podcast episode now for about an hour and a half. And at first I was trying to record a podcast episode, a mini episode, this episode, actually, I was trying to record this episode for an hour and a half. I was trying to record one on understanding retroactive self anger. And for whatever reason, it just wasn't coming. You know, I had all the show notes and what I wanted to talk about, but for some reason I just couldn't find flow. So, okay, no big deal, I moved on. Then I started to talk about fear and the idea of fear as a distraction. And again, I had built notes and had all the things and for whatever reason, it just wasn't happening. I was like, good lord, like, what is going on? I've been sitting here trying to record a podcast for an hour and a freaking half. This is only supposed to be a 10 minute episode. And I have spent over 90 minutes. Like, I think I've tried to record this episode now I think I'm going on two hours. And so I think I've had like 20 goes at trying to record a mini episode. And so I took that as a sign because it's too ridiculous to A, not talk about, but B, not learn from. Because here's the reality. We all get stuck, right? We all get stuck in life. We have these moments where we're trying to find flow creatively or from a building standpoint or relationally. And we are just stuck. We're at our wit's end. And so this kind of got me curious. I was like, well, how am I going to get unstuck? What am I going to do? Do I just keep trying to record the same thing over and over again or have the same conversation over and over again and clear the answer? That was no. So I said, okay, I'm gonna go into the root of the problem. Like, I'm gonna just address this. Well, let's look at my distraction. What am I trying to distract myself from right now? Why is it that I can't seem to record this freaking episode? And I found a few things, okay? So first and foremost, I realized that I had resistance against doing this. And I had resistance because lately I've been creating a lot of content and I've been pushing myself to do something that's uncomfortable me, right? Something that's uncomfortable for me being on camera for whatever reason.

I used to sing, I used to go on stage. I was on stage all the time. I love talking on stages in front of people. I mean, I have spoken at events with 2000 plus people. I have built events with almost 2000 people that I have spoke at myself and not had any problem. But for some reason, being on camera just rattles my chains. I don't know why, and especially if I'm talking to someone, it's okay. But when I have to be on camera by myself and I'm not interacting with anyone, all of a sudden it feels inauthentic. And so I bumped up against this part of myself where I was trying to push myself to record more video content. And I have been. I've been creating a lot, but I realized that there was just some resistance towards doing it. And I was trying to record these other episodes on video so I could put. And, you know, I could put out the video onto my. My Instagram, et cetera, so that people could watch it. And I just realized that I had a ton of resistance around being on video. So I turned it off, and immediately now I'm in flow. And so I was like, well, okay, what does that tell me about when I am stuck? When I can't seem to create, when I can't seem to. When I've bumped up against an obstacle that I can't seem to move through most of the time. How I've tried to approach that in the past is just taking a sledgehammer to it, right? It's just like, you will not stand in my way, and I will move through you. And that force mechanism works for some situations, right? For certain situations, it works. But for creative situations, what I've learned over the years is that that same mechanism of sort of like taking a sledgehammer to it doesn't often work very well and creates a lot of emotional tension and stress and resistance. So what do we do? Well, we have to surrender, we have to first. And here's the thing. We have to surrender in a very specific way, right? Because a lot of the times people say, oh, you just need to surrender. You just need to let go. And it's like, what the hell does that even mean? And what does surrendering look like? So I'm going to tell you what it looks like when you are stuck. When you are stuck, you need to identify precisely what the Resistance is about. Get in touch with. With the Resistance that you are feeling. Identify it, give it a voice, and let it inform you. Let it tell you why it's actually there. So for me, when I did this exact exercise about 30 minutes ago, I sat with it and I said, okay, I'm feeling resistance. What am I feeling resistance about? This is like, oh, well, you know, I've been recording a lot of content. I went through the whole exercise, and then I wrote down, I don't want to be on camera. And I was like, huh, interesting. I'm even having a good hair day. Why don't I want to be on camera? Not that I have a lot of hair left to really give a crap about that, but anyway.

And so I noticed that. And I noticed that there was a part of me that was just tired of it, that was going through the motions, that kind of felt like, oh, I have to record myself on camera, but because people need to see me. And as soon as I met that part of me, I was like, wow, okay, there's the Resistance right there. And so immediately, I again was like, okay, if that's the Resistance, what do I need to do? How can I course correct? And that voice within that intuition, the Resistance just said, record it without video. Super simple, right? And so I was like, okay, cool. And immediately, as soon as I let that go, as soon as I surrendered to that, as soon as I surrendered to not having to record it with video, this whole concept came out. The whole thing revealed itself out of listening to my stuckness, right? Listening to my own Resistance, learning about what the Resistance was trying to tell me. Now, that's not, you know, that's not to say if you have resistance around doing your taxes. I mean, you could probably still use this exercise and understand it. Maybe it means that you hire someone to do your taxes. That's just plain and simple. But that resistance is going to be normal in some areas where we feel uncomfortable. When we as human beings feel like we can't do something proficiently or with a certain degree of mastery, at least the sense of mastery that we perceptually think that we should have acquired, then we will feel a resistance against it. We're not going to be motivated to do something that we internally feel like we're shit at. Right? And I'm just going to tie this into relationships really quick because I think this might land for some of you. A lot of people are disconnected from their own sexuality, their own sexual drives, desires, and arousals, specifically because their internal narrative is, first off, there's resistance, right? And they're not listening to it and they feel stuck. But first off, the internal narrative is I'm not good at this, or I don't know how to do this. And when the internal narrative is I'm not good at this or I don't know how to do this, of course you're going to feel resistance towards engaging in sexual exploration with your partner. Of course you're going to have performance anxiety and struggle to maintain an erection or struggle to.

Stay in the moment with your partner. Stay engaged in the arousal in that moment and allowing your body to connect with the arousal. So it's natural. It's natural that we need to listen to the resistance. Mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually. We need to listen to the resistance because it is informing us about how to maneuver through our stuckness. Sometimes when we're stuck, it needs the sledgehammer. Sometimes when we're stuck, it needs the feather, and the feather is surrendering. So practice the modality that your resistance and that your stuckness is telling you and informing you about today. So my encouragement for you just to make this practical and tactical, is look at where you feel stuck in your life right now and figure out if you need the sledgehammer or the feather. Ask the resistance to inform how you are feeling about that stuckness. Ask it why you are stuck. Get down to the emotional level. Like, what's the emotion that's behind that? And what solution does that emotion help to inform? All right, what action comes out of that? If you let that emotion speak, if you let that resistance speak, what is it informing you to do? What action is it looking for from you? Awesome. So I hope that's helpful for you. If you know some people that are stuck in your life, please share the podcast episode with a few people. We have been growing as a community, and I absolutely love and thank you for all of that. Thank you to the people that still tune in after all this time and to the newcomers that are brand new to the show. So until next week, this is Connor Beaton signing off.