If All Women Disappeared... What Would YOU Do???

But I ask everybody who comes through my Nice Guy programs this question, and I'll give the same asterisks. I have to give their 75 times that. I don't want women to disappear from the planet. But if they did, and you were a heterosexual man, what would you then do with yourself? What interests would you pursue? What hobbies would you have? What things do you want to explore? What do you want to learn? When you get to that final breath of your life, at the very end, can you look back and be like, man, that was a full existence with or without women, right? It's a paradigm shift, because when guys do that, they're like, hey, I really like Porsches. I don't give a shit if I'm married, single, divorced, if I never get laid ever again. I love Porsches. Me personally, I love Jiu Jitsu. I love surfing. I'm not doing these to be around women. Like, there's no fucking women in very few women in Jiu Jitsu, not a lot of women are like, oh, so you put on pajamas and you choke other men? I think that's super attractive. There's some, but not many. But I still do that stuff. I'd still write, I'd still read. I still have 50 subjects that I'd love to dive into and become an expert in if I had the time, energy, and money, right? That gives me purpose, that gives me direction. That takes the weight off of, hey, I may not have a date this weekend, I may not have a date this month. I may not get laid this year. But when I look back on my life, I get to say, man, I learned some really cool, right? And it's. It's the weird. It's like, with money, like, the less that you need it, the more it tends to flow into your life. Like, I remember someone, like, 20 years ago being like, you think Leonardo DiCaprio pays for his own dinners anywhere he goes? Even though he could afford to pay for, you know, the entire restaurant every time he went in. If that's the paradox. So when you take the focus off of what's happening out there and take the focus back onto, I'm going to get my fucking black belt, right? I'm going to surf waves all over the country. There's 17 books on archeology that I want to read because it lights me up. That kind of stuff. Also, the. The unintended consequence of. Makes you attractive. You don't care, but it makes you attractive. And also one of those subjects, if you're interested in it, Is relationship. I find relationship fascinating just as a concept, just as a subject, right? I find connection fascinating as a subject, as a concept. If women disappeared, I'd still be really curious about social dynamics and how people get together and what makes people happy and the energy exchange and being grounded and blah, blah, blah, like all that shit. So I would love for men just to plug back into their lives and let the chips kind of fall where they may, or at least have the intention at the beginning of being like, I'm not doing this to get in a relationship. I'm not doing this to get laid. It'd be great, and I'm not gonna turn it down. And it'd be awesome. And it is awesome. And once I have that ball rolling, once I have some momentum behind me of what I love to do, I love who I am, I know what I'm about, then I can take some of that focus and go, cool, man. There's a lot of women who are hanging out at the places that I'm at. I really like this one. I'm going to. I'm going to compassionately and skillfully approach her. If she says, no, thank you, I'm going to high five her and go back to doing what I was doing, right? And I'm going to disconnect from the drama and the collective unconsciousness and the collective anger. You know, I think this is a fair point to say about both men and women, Something Michael Gay brought up on a call a couple months ago saying, there's a collective story, all men x, all women X. And that collective story is often a different experience than the vast majority of the individuals in the story. And so when we hear women only want to date guys over six feet who make six figures, six inches, six packs, six this, and then you sit down with an actual real human woman, like, hey, does that stuff really matter? If you have a guy who you're deeply connected with, trust, have intimacy with, love, and adore? Like, did you like. Is that really the thing? Like, no, it's not. Just like, with most guys, like, okay, you have this checklist of women, right? She's this tall that wants to have sex this much, Boobs are this size, body's this size. Like, does this stuff. And you sit down with a real human man and go, hey, if you had a loving partner who supported you, appreciated you, took care of you, like, nurtured you, loved you, loved on you, do you really give a flying what her cup size is? Do you really give a flying what her hair color is or Any of the imaginary things that you've seen? No, I think that's a really important point for everybody to swallow that what we're missing here is the, the, the under. The surface stuff. And when we get that, the drama of the upper level, the, the surface level stuff, it goes away. So stop focusing on that. Get back to like, real hard, like real nutrients and real, real depth, real connection. That's it.

Yeah, it's, it's. It's interesting. I usually say, like, a woman is not a why, you know, and, and so many of us as men are doing things for women to get a woman, you know, or we, or we get caught in the trap of making our.

Our.

The woman that we're dating and the woman that we're with our purpose in life, you know, and just making them happy becomes a mission. And it's. And it just doesn't. It just doesn't work.

Does not work. Yeah, it does not work.

And so. Yeah. So, like, a woman's not a why. And if you're taking time in your life. Because I do think it is important to say that, like, you know, like I said before, 66% of men between 18 and 29 are single right now. And of the Pew research did this.

Did this study, and they were looking at what percentage of people are not looking for a relationship when they found was that 50% of men that are single across all age ranges say that they're not looking for a relationship. Right?

50%.

That's a lot of men that are just like, I'm out. You know, I'm checking out of the dating game. And I think this, you know, this mix of dating apps, which are like, largely terrible, right? You have something like Tinder where 70 of the profiles are men, right? So it's just like, imagine walking into a room where 70% of the like for dating and 70% of the. Of the people there were men. You know, it's like you're in a sausage party, right? And you're. It's. It's just not going to be the great place to be when you're wanting to meet a woman. And so, so I do think that a lot of men have started to kind of take a big step back, and that's okay, but I would, you know, I think I worry a little bit because one of the things that has been a little surprising to me, you know, in the last decade of doing this work with, with, with guys.

Much men want relationship. You know, how much men want an intimate relationship. For sure, it's it's, it's one of the reasons why I say like, 80. That's, it's why 80% of divorces are initiated by women. Because when men commit, good, bad and ugly, they commit. And so, you know, I, I think it's, it's not to get like, you know, gushy or anything, but like, it hurts my heart, you know, to hear that there's so many men that are out there who I know probably really want to be in relationship with a woman.

Yeah.

And so, you know, I hope that, that we as men can, can really turn towards each other, support one another and, and really encourage one another to not go down the rabbit hole of woman hating, you know, because I think it's easy for a lot of guys to go online and see how much vitriol there is towards men in the masculinity. Sure. And, and for them to get caught of like, well, fuck women then. You know, like, I'll just, I'll just meet them where they're at and it's not the, it's just not the mature thing to do, you know, it's like our role, I think, within relationships. I said this to the alliance the other day. I was like, your mission is to out regulate your partner. Always. You might not always win at that game. You might not get it right all the time. Hell, I don't. Right. But it's like, but if you can do it like 60, 70% of the time. Holy. If you can outregulate your partner and stay grounded.

That is a gift to the world around you. A grounded present man is a gift to the world around him. It's a gift to children, to women, to other men, to culture and society. And so if we can practice that in our relationships, which is oftentimes where we're going to need to practice it, you know, because it, like you and I, Trevor could hang out for a week or two and like, we probably wouldn't have any conflict. I can hang out with my wife for a week or two and something will come up, you know, something will, something will transpire.

And I love her.

Katie for an hour?

Yeah. Right. What's that? What you say?

I can hang out with Katie for an hour. Something's coming up.

There you go. Right. And so, yeah, so anyway, I think that's just part of our mission right now.