MEN: Don't feel guilty for purposing your physical passion!

Connor Beaton and Kevin Miller argue that men's drive for physical mastery is natural, not something to apologize for. Training channels aggression productively, creates flow states that improve wellbeing, and strengthens family bonds. Kevin's duathlon participation inspired his kids to compete.
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Men culture, people wouldn't have survived if men weren't using their physicality to go out and hunt, to go out and build, to go out and create. And so I do think that there's something baked into us from an evolutionary standpoint that needs, that needs satiation in this physical pursuit side of things. I heard Jocko Willings talk about how the men that are least likely to fight are the men who are the most trained in fighting. Yeah, and I love that notion. I was like, yeah, you know, like the more that I like, I think about myself in my 20s, I got into bar fights all the time. I didn't know how to fight. You know, I, I knew how to hockey fight because I played hockey and I, you know. But now that I've started to train, I'm like, yeah, I don't have the urge to go out and get into bar fights, you know. And so I think that that's such an interesting notion. Do you think that it is helpful, healthy, meaningful for men to pursue some type of physical excellence in something that they aren't going to turn into career or monetize?
I just do. I mean, I honestly do from again, my experience. But even with other guys, those are the guys. I keep talking about this group as a story behind a group that I'm with. The common denominator is being an athlet. You don't have to be great. Like we, I'm so, I'm an athlete over here. Well, we all went surfing in Mexico. I had never surfed, so I was an idiot on, you know, doing that. But I also, I'm an athlete. I'm not going to die or drown or, or, or whatever. That's the common thing. And yeah, we just, it's, it's something So I feel primal, you know, especially going off on a, on a trail, remote trail run in a pair of shorts and a pair of shoes and that's it. And just a technical trip, trail run, uphill, downhill, man. It's just primal. And I do feel like it's just. Man is baked in me. I was, I was on a ride probably within the last three months, maybe 90 days ago at some point. And it was just one of those perfect day. And the literal thought that went through my mind, Connor, I thought, dude, I get off on this. I get it. I get off. Which, you know that that term is even like a sexualized term. You know, you can think you get off on porn. I was getting off on this trail and in the flow. And this makes this, is this is filling me up. Who would.
Without this and, and to your thing too. I think it's hard to. Without some level of mastery. But even being an athlete and being, you know, mastering your body, you can do things that you may not be perfect at and still tap into that. I mean, I tapped it even out there surfing and getting beat to heck by the waves. It was still comfortable. I'm comfortable being with exertion, you know, and being. And being taxed. I mean, that's a comfort. And yeah, again, when I see the people that I'm drawn to, when I see guys who are really fully alive or as full as they can and enjoying life and drawing people to them and, and from that having success elsewhere, they're doing these things. It's the ones who have just put themselves in the workhorse seat and which I, you know, I understand that I've had some pastimes of being that and realize, man, I don't. What came to me, Connor, is I'm not doing anybody any favors. I am not. I'm not doing God a favor. I'm not doing my family a favor by just sitting here churning away, paying the bills, being a workhorse with no joy. Everybody would just. It was later on I said the short story would be I had, I had my family after I had stopped racing for a long time. I had them come to a duathlon that I did and the testimony after I felt guilty for it. Here they are. I'm wasting their Sunday, dude. My. It, it inspired my kids told me. My, my older ones, they said it was so inspiring to see you doing something inspiring, daddy. And now today, not, not just from that event, but on and on. All my kids are fairly active and they cite me, they say it was your example. Not of doing it, not of going out there and doing bitter, but doing it with joy. I mean, you come in from a run and you're just lit up. We wanted you to go do that because you're better, daddy, when you're, when you're happy. And it inspires us to do that. And I hear these testimonies from them and go, man, we can't believe I missed that and that we missed that as guys. So yeah, back to your point. Yeah, I do, man. I think it fills. You can hear me. I'm exc. I've been. I mean, I'm in the Colorado summer right now, man. It's just non stop. I have a hard time doing anything but. And but to your point too, of work, my work, you put a billion dollars in my bank account. I'm going to do these podcasts. I'm going to write like I am. And yet I also find times when. And as great as this is, I just want to go do something else, like you said. What did you say, Connor? Something like without a payoff, without a, you know, productive, without a result or something. I'm just doing it for fun, man. It makes everything come alive, I think.
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