Connor Beaton argues that many men live governed by fear—avoiding regrets by seeking perfection—which keeps them stuck. He links this fear to withheld pursuit in relationships (sexual), career/financial life, and physical potential, and contrasts it with the freedom found in pursuing authentic desires and creative aims.
When you live a life trying to avoid your regrets, right? It's like I don't want to regret anything. I don't want to get anything wrong. I want to live in this perfectionist mindset. What ends up happening is that you stay in the same place because you're afraid. Men's lives are governed by fear and over the years I have seen so many men who have been governed by fear, governed by the fear of pursuing what they want in their relationship sexually governed by the fear of pursuing what they want in their business financially with their body physically really afraid to see what they're capable of. And I think that that is the most crushing form of regret that we can live with. And I think what's interesting is there's a freedom that comes along with pursuing the things that we ultimately know in our heart, in our core that we want to pursue, that we want to build, that we want to create, that we want to.
How to Raise Strong, Unshakable Boys in Today's Culture, with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
