Connor Beaton argues that modern men lack an aspirational image of who they can become; instead they are primarily told who not to be. This absence of positive role models and guidance prevents the formation of a grounded, healthy male identity. Beaton contends that facing hardship and persevering builds character and identity, whereas prescriptive 'don’ts' fracture identity and produce a deep sense of lostness.
Men now in today's society lack an aspirational direction of who they could become as a man. Instead men are being told who not to be. So there's no real image of here's who you could become as a man, here's how you could develop your identity, how you could develop your sense of character, how you could develop your personality as a man. Being able to face hardship and persevere through it, that develops that man's character, that develops a sense of sense of self and identity. But when what you're given instead is just don't become like this. Here's all the characteristics, here's all the traits, here's all the things you shouldn't say, here's all the things you shouldn't do. This does not develop a sense of identity. This does not help to form a positive, grounded, healthy psyche. What this does is fractures a sense of identity. But it also roots in a very deep quality of lostness.
How to Raise Strong, Unshakable Boys in Today's Culture, with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
