Overcoming Laziness By Leveraging Surrendering

Welcome. I'm Connor Beaton, and on this midweek mini episode, we are going to talk about overcoming laziness and discuss a little bit about when surrendering becomes complacency, which ties into it. And also talk about how to overcome laziness by leveraging surrendering. Now, that's a little bit maybe backwards from what you would normally think, but stick with me and find out why it is powerful. This has been one of the most profound tools that I've used within my own life to create change, to overcome laziness. Because, listen, I was a lazy kid. I mean, I was not very good in academics. I didn't study. I was like the last minute guy that was creating the project or trying to finish the essay last minute. And I've been like that for a very long time. My family used to joke around that there's some morbidly obese fat guy living within me because of the amount of food that I eat and the fact that I just have a propensity to sit around and really do nothing. And yet I have managed to have a very successful career and build an incredible business and really push through all of those parts. And it doesn't mean that those parts have entirely gone away. It doesn't mean that they vanished. It simply means that I have much more awareness of what is there. So we're going to talk about how to move through and overcome laziness. But first, let's just take care of some housekeeping notes. So for all of the people that have joined the course that Vienna and I put out, get the love you want. Thank you so much for tuning in and being a part of the program. We had over 300 people join this round alone. So that takes us over a thousand people that have partaken in the course, which is amazing. It's been really incredible to see how people's relationships have grown. So stay tuned for when we are going to put that out again. And just on a quick side note about men's weekends, obviously we've got the men's weekend here in March that's coming up. It's getting close to sold out. So if you've been thinking about joining us, get on it. Don't wait any longer. Don't let laziness take over. Surrender into what your gut knows is true. And one of the questions I got from one of the guys recently that I spoke to about the weekend was what makes your weekend different and how do I choose? Because there's a lot of men's weekends out there. I Think one of the biggest pieces is really what you're looking for and what you're looking to work on. As you know, I approach everything as training. And so this men's weekend is not meant to be the, like, you know, savior of your existence. It's meant to be training to teach you how to go back into your life and really take action towards the things that you desire. It's meant to teach you about, take you on a deep dive of your own shadow and why you are sabotaging, help you understand your inner critic and to really support you in creating a direction and a deep sense of clarity and knowing on what you want in your relationship, in your purpose, in your health and your finances, and in the direction of your life. So if that sounds interesting to you or someone you know, definitely sign up fast before it sells out. And if you're interested in joining the east coast weekend that we will be launching in the next week or two, email me@InfoAntalk CA. We'll get you on the waitlist. We've got about a dozen guys that are on the wait list for the next weekend who couldn't make it to the March weekend. So stay tuned for that. So with all that in mind, let's talk about laziness. I wanted to start off with a few great quotes about surrendering. I don't think that we necessarily need to talk about laziness. We've all experienced that feeling of laziness, of not wanting to do anything. I like to reframe laziness. And this has been a really helpful tool for me in my life. I have reframed this concept, this idea, this narrative and story, like, oh, I'm a lazy person. I adopted that mentality for a very long time. If you had met me in my 20s and in my teens and even in my late 20s, you would have met someone who labeled themselves as extraordinarily lazy. You know, growing up as a kid, I had add. I was really hyperactive in school. It was hard for me to focus, it was hard for me to read in front of the class. I really struggled. And so because of that struggle.

I just self identified as being lazy. Sometimes my parents would say that I was lazy. And so this laziness became this very pervasive theme in my life. And so I really struggled with that until I was working with a mentor of mine and I was doing this shadow work and he said, maybe you can not label it as laziness. Maybe you can start to see it as resistance. And I thought to Myself, well, that's an interesting reframe. And he said, what would be possible if you reframed the laziness as resistance? And I kind of thought about for a while and I looked back at him and I said, well, I think what it would make possible for me is that I would want to understand what that resistance was about. I would want to understand why the resistance was there. But also it piqued this curiosity within me, this sort of competitive side within me of like, yeah, I think I want to push back on that resistance. You know, like, who would I be if I took action? Even though that resistance was there and that was the big switch for me, I really started to approach things as like a training based mentality. And as soon as I had that shift or that reframe, I was like, oh, this is me training. Of course, I've built in these habits and these narratives that are entrenched in my identity of being lazy and then acting lazy to sort of reinforce that story. And the idea of getting out of it was really challenging because I didn't know who I would be on the other side of that. I had no idea. As someone wiser than me once said, we always know what we stand to lose, but we never know what we stand to gain. And I loved the comfort that I had in my life. I loved wearing the sweatpants all the time and not dressing nicely and not working out whenever I wanted to. And I sort of had gotten used to this comfort of just staying in and watching movies and not really working towards my goals, not hustling towards my health, not working towards my dreams and. And pulling them into reality through action, through consistency, through discipline. And so this reframe, I would love for you to adopt and I would love for you to look at all the areas of your life where you identify yourself as lazy and to ask yourself the question, what's the resistance? What is the resistance that's in that area? So wherever you've labeled yourself as lazy, change the laziness into resistance. There's resistance, there's. And then start to look at who would I be if I took action on that resistance? Who would I be? How would it change me? How would it grow me if I was to take action on that resistance? And then third, what do I think I stand to lose now? This is gonna be the big one for some of us. Some of you are more committed to your complacency and more committed to your comfort than you are to actually achieving the results that you know you're capable of. And that might sound like a hard thing to hear, right? It might be the thing that you shame yourself for. It might be the thing that you make yourself feel bad for. You're like, I know I'm capable of more, but I'm just too comfortable. I just love being comfortable. Well, here's the deal. If you start to train yourself in the art of being a warrior of resistance, of really seeing wherever there's resistance in your life and then taking action in that direction.

There'S a very specific kind of growth and confidence that coincides with that action. Because what it does is it creates a new type of comfort, a new type of freedom. You see, for some of us, comfort is the ultimate freedom, right? We create these lives that are incredibly comfortable and then we don't want to move out of them. We don't want anything to change because it's comfortable. And we feel free in that space. And we look at, at the work that it would take to actually achieve our goals and to achieve the results that we want. And we look at it and we think to ourselves, holy crap, not only is that an incredible amount of work, but it's going to infringe on our freedom. And so this is where the idea of surrendering really comes into play. Surrendering is not a weakness, it is a strength. It takes a tremendous, tremendous amount of strength to surrender to, to life, to surrender to our potential, to surrender to what we know we are capable of, to surrender to the discomfort of letting go of the comfortable habits that we have. To surrender to not knowing who we're going to be by getting our ass out of bed every single morning four or five days a week, and getting our ass to the gym or getting our ass to yoga, or going in and seeing the personal trainer or eating healthier and throwing out all the shots, sugary crap that we have in our home, or to stop arguing with our partner so much and to surrender to not criticizing them constantly. We don't know who we're going to be on the other side of that. And that is the strength that your body and your mind, your nervous system, your heart, your soul, whatever is in the way. That's the thing that it's really wanting to learn. That's the thing that it's really scared of. But it's also the growth, greatest strength that we can acquire. To surrender is a strength because it requires us to let go of the comfort, to let go of the complacency. And I'm just going to read you a quote here.

It says, you need to trust, to surrender, to ask for guidance, to go within, for the answers. They're within you. You have the answers. All you need to do is ask. You also need to listen after you ask.

But you need to listen. And then I have one more for you here. I mean, there's a quote that I have from Jack Kornfield just came into my mind. It says, peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control. And see, that's what a lot of this is actually about. It is about control, comfortability. When we feel comfortable, we feel in complete control. And that's the illusion, right? We feel safe, we feel in control in our laziness. And so there is a sense of being out of control when we start to surrender, completely out of control. Because we don't know what's going to happen. We don't know how it's going to unfold. If we start going to the gym four or five times a week, we don't know what our body's going to look like or how we're going to feel. There's obviously resistance that comes up in that. And so we, we have to let go of our sense of control because for many of us, comfortability and being comfort and having all the freedom to do whatever we want, whenever we want actually is the control that we have designed in our life. And lastly, I'm going to read you a quote by Sri Chimnoy, who is an incredible monk who actually created a 3,100 mile race that happens here in Brooklyn. And I had a gentleman on the podcast recently, last year, as I talked about that race, his name is escaping me right now, but it was an incredible, incredible journey. So Sree said surrender is a journey from outer turmoil to inner peace. And this is what I would encourage you to take on, is to start to really get familiar with the resistance that you're facing in your life. Start to look at how the comfort that you have in your life is a direct correlation to your desire to control. And that the act of surrendering might be the most terrifying thing that you can do, but it requires the most strength. And you don't. Here's the great thing, you don't need to have this huge amount of strength within you to surrender immediately. It actually is a training, and that's the beautiful part about it, is that you train yourself to surrender. You train yourself to let go of the control of having this perfectly comfortable life where you never expanding yourself, where you're never pushing your edges, where you're never getting uncomfortable. Growth is uncomfortable. That is the reality of it. And it is probably and often your and our collectively complacency with not wanting to get uncomfortable, with needing to control outcomes and results that is preventing us from getting the type of relationship we want, having the type of sex that we want, and being able to engage in the type of life that we want. So my challenge for you is to write out all the ways that you feel very comfortable in your life, write out all the ways that you are trying to control your outcomes and really allow yourself to surrender to not knowing how things will unfold if you allow yourself to pursue your dreams and then go forth. Surrender into the uncomfortable. Surrender to the uncomfortable. Surrender to the uncomfortable. Make it your mantra. Get your ass out of bed at 6am in the morning when your alarm goes off. Make surrendering uncomfortable is okay. So that's what I have for you this week. I hope you enjoyed Please share this episode with somebody that you know would benefit from hearing it, because I think the world could use a healthy dose of surrendering and a healthy dose of getting a little bit uncomfortable in that form. So thank you so much for tuning in today. Until next week, this is Connor Beaton signing off.