Connor Beaton describes setting boundaries with his wife about not needing to outshine her in her own strengths. The conversation argues that what people really crave from partners isn't love but admiration, and that many women express love while withholding it.
I have also experienced in my life where my wife is like wanting me to outstrength her in her strengths. I've set boundaries around that. I'm like, no, that's not a me thing. That's a you thing. That's for you to do. This is your strength.
When you think about someone that you admire, what do you crave the most from the person that you admire? I assert it's that they admire you. Now, a woman would say that they love you. So we keep trying to tell you and show you how much we love you. While demonstrating over and over again that we do not admire you. You picked us for being different, not like you, and that you admire how we're not like you. And what you want most from us is that we admire for how you're strong in a different way that I am. I'm so much better off with you. And one of the ways he actually spoke about it earlier, that it shows up in your life, is when your wife calls on the Connor Effect.
How to Raise Strong, Unshakable Boys in Today's Culture, with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
