Connor Beaton explains how parents ill-equipped to handle their children's intensity can trigger lifelong self-sabotage. When a kid's energy overwhelms a parent, the child learns something is wrong with them and spends decades trying to fix themselves, even though the real problem was never the child at all.
From a pretty young age, there was like a, I need to figure out how to do this myself. I think I kind of stopped looking for guidance from my parents at a pretty early age. Like, why did I just start figuring out how to learn how to do this in my mid-30s?
I've seen this in myself. I've seen this in a lot of men that I've worked with that have some type of neurodivergence. If you grew up in a house where your parents didn't know how to handle your energetic intensity and you were wronged for it, because right now part of what's happening inside of you, brother, is Every single time your energy starts to get real big, your emotions start to get real big, your thoughts start to really go, I can see what happens inside of you. Oh shit, something wrong. I need to fix this. And so you start to create this negative relating with your own energetic nature, not because there's actually anything wrong or faulty with you, but it's that how you are interacted with from a very young age.
How to Raise Strong, Unshakable Boys in Today's Culture, with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
