Connor Beaton speaks about self-leadership, arguing that personal influence over one’s own psychology, ethics, and competence matters more than external focus (for example, trying to 'fix' or centre a partner). He challenges men to see themselves as the primary journey—prioritizing self-influence toward goals, purpose, and the person they can become (father, husband, leader)—and to begin by leading themselves.
So I love this notion of self leadership. And if we think that we want to lead in any capacity, whether it's in life or at work or in our relationship, we have to first be willing to see how and where we are influencing ourselves and what we're influencing ourselves towards. Because you see, we as men, we're so externally focused. We love to focus in on the women that we're dating and try and figure them out and try and solve their problems and try and make sure that they're okay and taken care of and provided for and et cetera. And what we really miss out on is that they're not the adventure, right? They're not the journey. You're the journey. Your personal psychology, your ethics, your morals, your capacity and competence in influencing yourself towards your goals, towards your purpose, towards your ambitions, towards who you know you're capable of becoming as a father, as a husband, as a leader in any capacity. And so begin with looking at how you're leading yourself.
How to Raise Strong, Unshakable Boys in Today's Culture, with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
