Short excerpt from a YouTube video (Connor Beaton) arguing that withholding sex in a previously agreed sexual/monogamous relationship constitutes a form of abuse (neglect). The speaker emphasizes that repairing such harm requires restoring emotional safety, which is often difficult because the deprived partner may feel emotionally, physically, and sexually starved and distrustful.
Just like forcing sex is abuse, so is starving your partner of sex. When you have agreed to be in a sexual relationship, withholding it, weaponizing it, taking it off the table. When you have agreed to a sex filled monogamous relationship, and that's been a part of the agreement the entire time, that is simply for a different form of abuse. We would call that neglect. If you want to repair, if you want to get through it, emotional safety has to come first. And this is so challenging for many couples, because when I've worked with a lot of couples and they're in this space, depending on where the person is, depending on where the man is, in terms of feeling emotionally starved, physically starved, sexually starved, depending on whether he swung out into extreme contempt, emotional safety can feel very challenging, because that man will not trust his partner.
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