Connor Beaton talks about dealing with high-conflict family members and spouses. Don't point out their behavior, stay calm, and focus conversations on solving problems and choices instead of their feelings. Frame them as decision-makers, not as people who need to change.
That's my dad. That's my mom. That's my wife. That's my brother. That's me. You know, if you have a relationship with somebody that is this sort of type, this archetype, how do you start to deal with it?
First of all, don't try to give them insight into their own behavior. Don't say, now let me tell you what you're doing wrong here. It doesn't work with high-conflict people. They become extremely defensive and they'll try to dominate you. The second thing, is don't try to focus on emotions. Don't have an emotional confrontation with them. You want to be pretty much calm and look at it in terms of problem solving. Is you want to steer clear of emotions and focus on what to do. You want to not give them insight. Don't focus them in themselves. Focus them outward on what their choices are. Let's look at what our options are. Let's look at what we can do now.
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