Connor Beaton describes feeling torn between two homes after his parents split, abandoned and angry at not being chosen. He aches for their physical presence despite emotional closeness, struggling to find where he belongs.
Say what's happening. Take a breath in as you talk about some of this stuff and just say what's happening. Internally.
It's the same kind of, where do I belong? Whose am I? Where do I fit in? It was confusing. I didn't know where to land. I didn't know what the destination was. I didn't want to be pulled apart. Wanting to be loved, wanting to feel like I fucking had a spot in these families. I feel turmoil. There's a bit of anger. Wanting to tell my parents to get their fucking shit together, to fucking look at their boy. Look at what the fuck you guys are doing. I don't know where to go. Every time I landed somewhere home was at the other place. Can't be in two places at once. Stop making me chew. You guys should have stayed together, chose over your son. I know you were scared of having a family, but you walked out on me, dude. You left your only son alone. Do that to me. Just fucking left me stranded, man. Just wanted you to fucking show me shit. The hardest part is I always felt you. It's so hard to fucking love you so much. Just have you everywhere but with me.
How to Raise Strong, Unshakable Boys in Today's Culture, with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
