The 10 Things Men Do That Destroy Their Lives in Brief

Today we're going to be Talking about the 10 things that men do that destroy their lives. Now, this is an amalgamation of what I have seen in men after working with guys for the last decade. Some of these, most of these are things that I've done in my own life and had to move through. So I'm going to give you some practical stories and ways to move through them. But let's just dive straight in, because I think what I've noticed is that there's a very real crisis of masculinity within our culture. People and a lot of people are struggling to understand why so many men are in decline, why a lot of young men are struggling. And in our culture, it's not uncommon for men to feel like they don't have a place within society and culture. It's very easy to be distracted. It's very easy to buy into narratives that, you know, men aren't wanted or needed. It's very easy to buy into this notion that you have to live under a certain framework. Right? This is sort of what the red pill community sells is like if you just live into this frame as a man in this very specific way of being, that everything will sort of be solved in your life. And I don't necessarily know if it's that simple. Not that there's not merit in that. I think it can be very helpful for a lot of people. But, you know, I've worked with thousands of guys from around the world, and I have been working with men for a very long time. And there's some patterns that I have noticed that really damage our lives as men and they destroy our relationships, our purpose, all these pieces, and many of these, I've fallen into the trap of. So let's get started. The first one, and honestly, the biggest one that I've seen across the board, and to be honest with you, one of the biggest ones that I struggled with in my life is lacking impulse control. This is one of the biggest areas that I see a lot of men struggling is that they lack any kind of impulse control. And so they, you know, 10 o' clock at night, they want a chocolate bar, and so they go eat or ice cream or popcorn or whatever it is, they want another beer, and so they have a fifth one. I really struggled with this for a long time with pretty much everything, you know, women, alcohol, weed, drugs, food, you know, like porn. I really had problems just being able to sort of direct and control the impulses that would naturally come up. But one of the biggest things that I've seen destroy a man's life is that we chase pussy over purpose. And we begin to. And when I say that word, I mean specifically just sexual interactions, sometimes meaningless hookups or pursuing relationships that we know don't serve us and putting those relationships, putting women specifically ahead of any sense of mission or purpose in life. You know, And I did this for a very long time, especially in my late teens and early 20s, because I was just getting like validation from women, you know, it felt really good. I didn't feel like I had much worth or value. I hadn't worked on myself at all in any way, shape or form. I hadn't read any books. I hadn't done any self reflection. And there's a number of reasons why this happens, but it sort of ties in to the next one, which is lack the ability to say no to yourself. Right? You lack the ability to just say no, no, I'm not going to do that. And this is something that you need to develop. This is something that we all need to work on. The next one is arguably the most important one and that's we pick the wrong partner. This is an interesting one to tackle, but I think it's really important because for a lot of guys, when we lack our values, when we lack a sense of our morals or our ethics, when we lack a sense of. Of impulse control, when we are chasing women over our purpose, what ends up happening is that the partner that we attract doesn't align with our values, doesn't align with our morals, doesn't align with the trajectory and the direction that we're trying to take our life. The next one, the big one, is that we settle for an okay career or job or business. And I see this happening to a lot of men who in the effort of wanting to make money and wanting to gain status or, you know, wanting to buy themselves some nice things and go traveling, they get themselves into a position where they're working for a company or a corporation that they don't like and they don't appreciate. They're selling shit that they don't care about. You know, maybe they've built a business that they feel trapped by, which is, you know, a lot of the men that I've worked with over the years have built up these very successful companies and then all of a sudden real that they are in some ways a slave to their own business. They're miserable doing what they're doing. Like it's not actually giving them any joy or fulfillment, number six. And I think this is really being shown in A lot of the data that's coming out today, men really struggle with what really damages a man's life. I think is lacking like minded men that are willing to challenge you. You know, if you don't have men in your life who create a sense of aspiration for you. The men that I'm surrounded by, that I connect with, that I interview. I just went to Austin, Texas and did a bunch of interviews there and met dozen guys that I've never met before who are incredibly inspiring, who are doing great work, who are living amazing lives, who I really respect and admire. But I also have a group of men that I'm surrounded by that I talk to all the time, every day, who inspire me, who challenge me, who push me. Have you challenged yourself to see what your body is physically capable of? When it comes to fasting, when it comes to lifting, when it comes to running, when it comes to being out in nature. Right. When it comes to cold exposure and heat exposure. Right. Being able to test some of your edges in these realms is incredibly valuable. I remember when I started doing Wim Hof, one of the things that really helped me was, you know, I've been doing breath work for a very long time because of my previous career. But, but when I started to do Wim hof, I started to push my edge. And I think at my peak, when I was really doing Wim Hof regularly, I could hold my breath on the exhale for like 3 minutes and 20 seconds. I think was my record close to that. And now it's a little less today. Right. I can kind of get to like two, two and a half minutes. Cause I'm not, I'm not doing it as, as long as I used to. Like, I used to do a lot of Wim Hof breathwork every single day. But that was a form of me trying to push my body a little bit to see what I was capable of, you know. So can you push your body to see what you're capable of physically in the sense of how much weight you can lift, how much, you know, breath retention you can do, how much cold exposure you can take, you know, to test your body sexually as well, physically in that moment, I think is, is incredibly important. Right. So this is another part of it. When a man doesn't challenge himself to see what he's capable of physically, there's always a question. There's always a question behind the scenes of like, I really wonder what I could do if I applied myself next. Number nine is what destroys a man? Life is that he doesn't take money seriously, doesn't take money seriously, you know, hates it, Hates the capitalistic system. Sort of rebels against the entire structure of money. Views money as purely evil or as the enemy, or doesn't think that it matters or is important or some version of that. And you know, I've kind of cycled through these over the course of my life. When I was a young man, I thought debt was a part of life. I thought making money was incredibly hard. I didn't like it, I didn't want to worry about it. I just wanted to pursue my passions, you know, I just wanted to be happy in life. I didn't take those things seriously. And it wasn't until probably I was like honestly about 30 when I started to take money seriously. And I started to question what might it be like for me to enjoy the process of earning, making, saving and investing money and to do it on my own terms, you know. And that has opened up so many doors where year over year I have made more and more money. I have enjoyed making money, I've enjoyed saving money, I've enjoyed investing money, I've enjoyed spending money, you know, I've enjoyed buying dinners for my friends and supporting employees. Employees and building what I've built. Here's the last one. What I see really, really, really damaging and destroying a lot of men's lives. Their relationships, their fulfillment, their careers, their sense of purpose, their sense of belonging, their sense of satisfaction in life is that they've disconnected from wonder and awe. They have over indexed on trying to rationally figure everything out in their life. And they have stopped allowing themselves to kind of just look up at the stars and think holy shit and feel beget present to as a man become aware of the, the awe and the wonder that exists everywhere around us in nature, in a relationship, in a smile, in an interaction with somebody at a coffee shop, you know, in the. In the taste of a good steak, you know, in an interaction with a family member. Whatever it is, a man who's disconnected from awe and wonder is going to bring that into every other area of his life. And I think it's why so many of us are pursuing the Netflix. The lacking the impulse control, needing to turn towards potato chips or ice cream or whatever it is, the alcohol, the weed, et cetera. We're doing that because we're disconnected. This larger than us experience. Right, so go and pursue some wonder this week. I know this was a long video. Thank you so much for tuning in. As always, hit me up at man talks on Instagram. Comment below. Share this with somebody that you know will enjoy it. Man it forward. And until next week, this is Conor Beaton signing off.