Connor Beaton (YouTube, uploaded Sept 13, 2024) gives relationship advice for men dating avoidant women, emphasizing using gratitude and appreciation rather than criticism to encourage emotional openness. He recommends thanking partners for small acts (e.g., leaning on a shoulder, sharing about their day or thoughts) to signal that the partner's internal experience is welcome in the relationship.
Give thanks instead of criticism. What a lot of men do with avoidant women is they try and criticize their avoidant woman into change or they move into a place of helplessness and hopelessness. When you start to deploy thanks, gratitude, appreciation, and I really mean for the small things. Okay? The thanks for, like, hey, you know, you put your head on my shoulder this morning when we were laying in bed. I really appreciated that. That was nice. That felt really good. She'll be like, oh, yeah, he noticed that. That was great. Or, hey, thanks so much for, you know, just telling me about how your day was. It was really nice. Or how you're feeling about work or, you know, I really appreciated what you shared this morning about your thoughts on what's happening in politics. Whatever it is, whatever little breadcrumbs she starts to let out and she starts to communicate to you about you, thank her and appreciate and give gratitude for all of those things because you are telling her by doing that, her internal reality is welcome in your relationship.
How to Raise Strong, Unshakable Boys in Today's Culture, with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
