A short monologue by Connor Beaton arguing that the cultural belief men must be invulnerable to be powerful is false. He asserts vulnerability and courage are inseparable, that true courageous acts (in sex, relationships, work) require vulnerability, and challenges listeners to identify where they adopt invulnerability in their own lives.
We have been told largely as men, that invulnerability is power.
Invulnerability is power. That you are a powerful man. The more invulnerable you can be, the more powerful you become. And that is the ultimate lie of the ego. The ego says if you can be invulnerable and if you don't show any weaknesses, then you will have the ultimate form of confidence. Then you'll be really strong, women will be really attracted to you, make a shit ton of money. Well, it's a lie. It's just not true. Because the reality of it is that it tries to separate vulnerability from courage. Right? The ego will say, you can be courageous without having to be vulnerable. And it's not possible. I guarantee you it's not possible. It's anytime in your life that you're having a courageous conversation, that you are courageously expressing your sexuality, that you are courageously owning what you want from your business, from your profession, from the friends in your life, from your family members. You are being fucking vulnerable. They absolutely go hand in hand, and you cannot separate them. So we have to notice the areas in our life in which we are trying to be invulnerable. And I actually want you guys to get really clear on that. Where are you trying to be invulnerable in your life right now? I would imagine that if you have been complaining lately about the quality or the quantity of the sex that you're having with your partner, there is probably an invulnerability that you have adopted because you don't want to be courageously vulnerable enough to come forward and have a really honest, raw conversation with your partner about what's missing or what you need or what you want to explore or how you want to be touched or how you want to touch her, et cetera. All right? So ask yourself the question, where am I being invulnerable in my life right?
How to Raise Strong, Unshakable Boys in Today's Culture, with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
