Stephen Jenkinson explains how ritual and vows work: when you make a promise in the present tense, it closes off other possibilities and transforms you. A vow isn't just words. It's a tempering fire that brings the future into the present.
You said it should bring us into contact or something along those lines with the other world. Are you referring to the animate, the unconscious, the sacred, or just the mystery.
With a promise you need, the future with a vow you're not talking about the future, you're talking about now and we still get it right in that hackneyed phrase that the celebrant says when they say not will you not, can you not should you or shall you? They say do you? And the present tense arrests you. The notion comes from ritual. Do you make true and make so now this thing and by doing so you are officially relinquishing your claim in principle to every other possible arrangement, advocacy, sensibility, partnership, of course, and a good host of other things that something has to end for this thing to get underway something has to be over and you have to sign off on its being over and that's why people look different and were treated differently because they'd gone through a kind of tempering fire in this ritual you.
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