Short single-speaker excerpt (YouTube talk by Connor Beaton) advising listeners to pause before reacting in interpersonal situations. The speaker urges slowing the body, breathing into the belly, naming impulses, and practicing restraint (metaphor: throwing or jumping on a grenade) to gain regulation and control over emotions in relationships and other interactions.
So many men lack the intelligence of pausing, of restraining. Just in the moment where your girlfriend, your wife, your boss, your friend says something or does something, and immediately you get reactive. And you want to react from that aggression, from that rage, from that anger, from that hostility, or your reaction is to shut down entirely. Either you throw the grenade or you jump on the grenade. What we want to do is pause and. And ask ourselves, has the pin been pulled from the grenade? And before reacting, breathe. Take a breath. Slow your body down. Breathe into your belly. Name the impulse that has arise. Breathe. Slow down your body. Name the impulse that has arise. The more you can practice pausing before you respond. This gives you a chance to regulate, to have some level of control of direction, of dominion over your. Your emotions, instead of them constantly pulling you in different directions.
How to Raise Strong, Unshakable Boys in Today's Culture, with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
