A short spoken segment from a YouTube video by Connor Beaton arguing that many people enter relationships to feel important and validated—motivations driven by the ego. The speaker advises increased self-awareness about partner-choice patterns, warns against projecting childhood fantasies onto attractive people, and recommends accepting rejection when someone does not reciprocate.
A lot of people seek out relationships to feel more important and to feel more significant. It's like the ego is driving the ship. You have to start choosing better partners based on knowing what your pattern is, also recognizing that you choose. This isn't about trying to be chosen by someone. It sucks to be rejected, but sometimes that's just a part of life. And there are going to be people that your ego is going to convince you that that is the person for you. You want them, you're attracted to them. You project childhood fantasy onto them. They are the one. And so by them liking you, you're all of a sudden validated. And then if they're not liking you, it feels like it's killing the ego and we have to get over it. Anyone who is not feeling you, who's not into you, who's not choosing you, they really, truly are not for you.
How to Raise Strong, Unshakable Boys in Today's Culture, with Dr. Shefali Tsabary
