The Simp-ification of Modern Men

What's going on, team? Welcome back to the Man Talk Show. Connor Bean Here today we are going to talk about the simplification of modern men. The move to make modern men into simps. Now this isn't some big conspiracy theory if you've never heard of the term simp before. It's basically slang for simpleton. That's where the original word came from. And it basically, I mean, it means a lot of things, but in today's world it seems to be describing a man who is overly domesticated, who is over overly effeminate, who doesn't really have good boundaries, who doesn't stand up for himself, who doesn't really seem to know what he wants or has any real connection to deeper sense of value. And it's often used in a pretty derogatory way, in a pretty shame inducing way. It's often used in a character attack. And so I was pretty hesitant to even use the term. But I think sometimes we have to use the terms that are out there and then work with what's sort of prominent within the modern culture. So for me, when I think about the simp, when I think about this sort of the process of simplifying men or turning men into simps within our modern culture, this really for me is about domesticating men. And there are and has been this massive push towards domesticating men and there's been this massive domestication of men and just people generally within our society that I believe has had some adverse effects on people. And so what I'm going to do today is after, you know, months of sitting with this concept of sort of grappling with what is happening within men, what's happening within our culture. I am going to break this down into three categories. Three categories that are domesticating men, young men, old men, doesn't matter what your age is, but it's really domesticating men. And you know, the popular term is turning them into sims. So the first bucket is social. So there's a big focus in, within our modern culture and there's this big focus on gender being purely a social construct, which I don't think is true or right at all. I think if we ignore the biological underpinnings that naturally come out in how we express our gender and our sex, I think it really misses the mark. But there's this big push within our mainstream society to look at the social construct of masculinity. And we've entered into the first period, as far as I can tell, in maybe human history where masculinity and what it means to be a good man, what it means to be a man who's good for society is now almost entirely being defined by women. And there's some pushback on that from men. There's, you know, there's all these sort of movements that are happening that are sort of pushing back on that, sometimes not in great ways, sometimes in decent ways. But it seems like we've entered into this period of time where largely what it means to be a man in a social setting, a good man or a man who's good for society within our mainstream narratives is largely being dictated by the female and feminist perspective. And I believe that this is somewhat a response, maybe a retribution, even, dare I say, for probably the very long period of time, where women were subjected to the exact same thing, where women were in a position of men dictating what it meant for a woman to be good, for her to have the right behavior for her to, you know, be a good woman, to be a good woman for society, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So I think in some ways that might have something to do with it. But I think that there's also this power struggle, this power battle that is happening socially and it's happening on many different levels, politics and environment and yada, yada. But where one of the main power struggles is happening right now in the gender war is within the social commentary around what it means to be a good man and what it means to be a man that is good for society. Those seems to be the. The two pieces. The next social piece that I think is domesticating men is that there is a very large narrative that is telling young men and old men that men are essentially, in some ways. And I think this is Chris Williamson, who said that men are essentially defective women. Right. And that men need to just be more like women, need to be more vulnerable, need to open up more, and that will somehow inherently solve a lot of the problems that men face. Now, I'm not saying that opening up and being vulnerable sometimes isn't a valuable thing for you psychologically as a young man. As a man in general, it can be very beneficial. I think I have specifically and personally suffered by trying to hold all the stuff in and not talk with my buddies about what's going on in my life. I have experienced the detriment of that. And so I'm not advocating for never talking about the shit that's happening in your life. But there is such a thing as sharing too much too quickly and with the wrong people. And so when we just sort of whitewash this notion that you should just be able to be more vulnerable, and that's somehow going to inherently solve all of your problems as a man. I think that we fundamentally mentally missed the mark. But a lot of men, because a lot of young men and men in our modern generation are being told that in order to be a good man and in order to be a man who's good for society, they need to be more vulnerable, they need to be more effeminate, they need to be less direct, less assertive, they need to be less dominant, they need to be less. All these things that are, you know, traditionally associated with masculinity and masculine traits, which now is more socially acceptable for women to express and less socially acceptable for men to express. A lot of men have taken it on to be this more sort of soft, agreeable.

Very vulnerable and very open version of themselves. And so a lot of men have lost this sort of assertiveness where their boundaries are having structure, having order, having a sense of discipline, having a sense of really clear morals and ethics that they won't go beyond, and being able to take a stand for those morals and those ethics. So that's another big one. You know, men should step aside and sit down. And lastly, I think the social narrative that a lot of men are hearing is that they're just not wanted. And so, you know, if masculinity and men are being sort of not desecrated, I think like that's too much, too dramatic of a word. But I think when the social commentary is, I don't need a man, I don't want men, you know, I don't like men. And guys are online and they hear these things constantly. I think a lot of men take it in and then assimilate it internally as well. Then I should be not that. And I especially have seen this happening with a lot of young men or men in general who have grown up in a single parent household with a mother who was very unhappy with that boy's father, whether. And even it might not even be a single mother household, it could be in a, you know, they could still be married. That happens all the time too, where the commentary is, don't be like your father, don't be like him, he's a terrible person, he's this, he's that. And the man becomes the, the epicenter of all the problems that that woman is experiencing. And this is part of the social dynamic that has emerged within Western society. There is a sort of commentary that some people hold or A that some people hold that the quote unquote, patriarchy is the problem and at the epicenter of every issue and every problem that we are facing today. And so the only way through is the complete dismantling and deconstruction of anything associated with the patriarchy. Right. Like there's a Darth Vader somewhere, you know, that we can somehow destroy and that'll dismantle the patriarchy or we can blow up the Death Star and then all of a sudden the Galax will be free. Right. Sorry for the Star Star wars reference, but hopefully you get what I'm saying, right? So I think all of those things combined, guys hear a lot of the narratives and I see this in my, you know, comment sections on YouTube and Instagram and you know, the messages that I get from you guys on all of my platforms, the emails that I get where a lot of men feel like they are just not wanted just because they're a man, that they're not needed just because they're a man. And so the social narratives is telling men to not be like men is, you know, to not be masculine in a lot of ways or to be masculine in a very specific way that has been co opted and defined exclusively by women. And if you are masculine in a way that is defined by men, that's bad, that's wrong, that's toxic masculinity, that's the patriarchy, that's evil and you should not move anywhere near to that. So that's the social bucket that's causing the, the simplification or the domestication of men. Next is biological. And by the way, I am curious to hear your thoughts on all of this. I have been thinking about this for a very long time. I'm curious to hear your thoughts. If you're watching this on YouTube, comment below. If you're listening to this on the podcast, man it forward, share it with somebody. But also hit me up, let me know what you thought about this episode. If this is something that landed with you, what you agreed with, what you disagreed with, what you would add to this, I'd love to hear your thoughts because I think that this is a very interesting and important topic. Bucket number two is biological, right? We are being overly domesticated because we live this hyper sedentary life. You know, a lot of guys lack movement, they lack lifting weights, they are in a shitty environment with, you know, crazy bright lights all the time with a lack of sun, there's an over consumption of terrible food, there's intense chemicals that have been shown time and time again to dramatically impact testosterone levels and testosterone production and uptake within the body, which is an imperative chemical when it comes to a man's architecture and body and biology. So much so that this is now impacting sperm counts. And some people, I remember reading this article recently that was talking about the Spermageddon, and what that really meant was this sort of collapse within male sperm production. And a lot of studies have shown that in the last few decades alone, just in the last couple decades, right, like 20, 30 years, sperm counts have gone down by 60 to 70%. That is an astronomical number. And you might hear that and think, like, why? Why is that really even a big deal? There's a lot of sperm. There's hundreds of millions of them. And the reason for that is I had a hormone expert on the show and that's going to be dropping soon, so stay tuned for that. Who said what's good for sperm? Sperm is good for men's health, and what's bad for sperm is bad for men's health. So in a very simple way, sperm levels and sperm health specifically is a very good indicator of a healthy biological male. And so when we see sperm counts dropping like that, what we can then deduce is that the health of those men is also declining. And we can see that. We can see that men are living less than ever before. Longevity rates are dropping, isolation, all these types of things. But biological is the second bucket. There's all of these competing factors, the chemicals that are in our foods, the microplastics that we all hear about. There's all of these things that are lifestyle driven, but that really impact our biology, that are starting to make a lot of men just less driven, less motivated, less energetic. If you have a T count, if you have a testosterone count that's like three or 400 and you're 30 years old, you're probably going to feel pretty lethargic. You're probably not going to have as much energy to go to the gym and lift weights and, you know, pursue your goals and go spend time with friends. You're going to be more driven and motivated to sit on the couch and watch Netflix and eat another bag of chips and, you know, not really doom, scroll through whatever social media platform is there. Which brings me to my last bucket, which is stress and distraction, the last piece of the equation. And I just want to make it super clear, I don't think that there's some.

Evil, you know, master plan out there that is aiming to domesticate men or turn men into simps I don't think that that's true at all. I think that maybe some people are out there that want to make men more docile and more pliable and more easy to manipulate. For sure. I think that, that that's for sure the truth. That has always been the truth, right? People in power have oftentimes wanted individuals, men and women alike, that are much more pliable and agreeable because then they're easier to get to do what they want. But the last piece is stress and distraction, right? So I just want to get that out of the way. I don't think there's some like big master plan to turn men into the simps. I think that there's, there's these sort of categories that are colliding into men's lives that are overburdening their systems and causing these stressors and we need to be able to talk about them so that we can start to face them. So stress and distraction, right? You've got porn, it's easier to access than ever before. You've got thirst traps, right? TikTok, like cough cough, right? TikTok, Instagram, whatever social media platform that you're on, even Reddit. I saw a stat the other day that Reddit has more, more NSFW, not safe for work content than it has ever had before. There's been like this massive spike in women going on to like women that have only fans accounts going on to Reddit and creating accounts and flooding Reddit with not safe for work content. You've got the crappy food that we talked about. We've got the constant entertainment, right? You can watch HBO or Netflix or Amazon or whatever your favorite anime show is or succession season that's coming up. We've got rough dating conditions. The economy is pretty brutal, I think, for the average person, right? You've got inflation, so that increases your amount of stress. It's harder to buy a house than it ever is, you know, has been before. So you know, you as a young man or you know, a man in your 30s and 40s, it's harder for you to buy a house than it was objectively for your father or your grandfather to do so now they had very different conditions. But objectively and statistically and financially from an economic standpoint, it's harder for you to, to purchase a house than it ever has been before. So a lot of people, they wake up stressed. A lot of guys are going through the day stress that go to bed stressed and that stress and then they rinse and repeat that stress also has a negative impact on your levels of testosterone, on your sperm count, on your ability to feel energized and motivated. And so this stress and distraction that we are constantly surrounded by infringes on your ability to feel driven and motivated and connected to a deeper sense of your masculine core. So I think that these are some of the pieces that are leading to the over domestication of men. Now, hopefully that's not too doom and gloom. I know that can sound pretty fricking bleak, but there's a couple simple things, right? One thing that I just want to say is that resistance has always been the training ground of masculinity, right? Being able to face hardship, being able to be in a time that is stressful, has always made incredibly, incredibly potent, grounded leaders of men. It has always produced that. And if you look historically and from an anthropological stance of what has made men really who they are and what has developed our masculinity over the years, it's always in situations and circumstances that are challenging. And there's something about the masculine essence, there's something about the core of masculinity that wants to face challenges. So I'm not saying that this is inherently a bad thing, right? A couple things that we can do. One is very intentionally reduce your social media time. That might mean that you delete a couple apps. Like, I've just never had TikTok on my phone. I've never been on the platform. I don't really like it. I don't go on Facebook anymore, like, hardly ever. Unless my family sends me a message, I will go on Instagram. But I limit it to certain times and a certain amount of time per day. So limit and restrict your amount of social media time. Approach women in person, right? Go have conversations with women IRL in real life, because this develops your sense of risk. It develops your, you know, instead of being risk averse, you start to be okay with taking risks, you start to be okay with rejection. You start to develop these traits that not only women find appealing, but develop your sense of confidence as a man, regardless of your age. Start to lift heavier weights, start to get out into nature, start to get more sunshine, start to make some deeper male friendships. Stop blaming women for all your problems. You know, it's like, I see this sort of reaction sometimes that's out there online where men have a. Some men, not all guys, but some guys have a tendency to be like, well, all the problems, they're doing exactly what the, you know, what the women that they complain about do, right? Which is like, oh, women just blame men for all the problems they. But then when you listen to some of these guys talk, what they're actually doing is they're just blaming women for all of men's problems. And that's not freaking helpful, right? So stop blaming women for all your problems. Realize that life is inherently hard and that that's part of the point. Part of the point in a man's life is being able to, in a robust, cognitive, conscious, grounded and understanding way, learn how to face the hardships of life. It is not meant to be easy. And one of the last pieces that I didn't talk about in here that I'm just going to bring forward right now is that there's this big push within our modern culture and society that says that life should be easy in many ways, shape or form. So we have trigger warnings and safe spaces and words are violence and all this type of nonsense that is communicating to people that how you feel is more important than the facing of hardship. And there are some people who are committed to taking a moral stance and a moral high ground, more committed to that than actually facing the hardships of life. And what I will say is that my life is what it is today, not because I've had it easy, not at all. I have failed countless times, but I have failed my way towards success in my career. I failed my way towards success in my relationships. For sure, I've learned from my failures along the way. That doesn't mean that we continue to fail. But to face the hardship of your life is actually the point, and it points you towards the sharpening and the development of your own masculinity. So if anybody comes along and tells you that life should be easy and you should avoid hardship and you should do things that are easy for you, my advice is don't listen. My advice is completely ignore that person. And to start to design your life to have intentional hardship, to actually have intentional hard stresses that you're moving yourself towards, and to eliminate the shitty stress and distraction and nonsense that is actually weakening you physically, cognitively and emotionally, right? If you wake up every morning and go jump in a cold plunge and then go work out and you have a meditation practice or you're journaling and you're chasing after your goals and you're going and talking to women and you're living a life that you have started to design, that is going to put you more in touch with your own masculinity and your own masculine core than kind of just floating through your day working a job that you hate. Watching Netflix every night, smashing potato chips into your face and rubbing one off at the end of the day, watching porn to some woman that you'll never talk to. That is going to unequivocally weaken you as a man and disconnect you from your masculinity. So let me know what you thought about this episode. I hope that you enjoyed it. Don't forget to man it forward. And until next week, this is Connor Beaton signing off.